Only the Strong
by swimnewbie
Summary: Patty never died, Paige was never given up and knows that Victor isn't her father, but her sisters do not know.
1. Default Chapter

Only the Strong

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I just like to make up my own story lines!

Summary: Patty never died, Paige was never given up and knows that Victor isn't her father, but her sisters do not know.

Prue: 25

Piper: 23

Pheobe: 19

Paige: 17

They all left me, left me alone with out thinking twice, even when I begged them to stay. They just told me that i could always call them if I missed them. Now mom and dad (Victor) are always fighting. I know mom tries not to fight in front of me, but Victor could careless. It doesn't really matter I am used to Victor and his rage. However, this is all new territory for my mom since Victor only used to direct his rage at me and not at the rest of my family. At least he never gets physical with the rest of the family. He saves that for me when no one else is around.

When I was ten Victor and I were home alone one Saturday and he started yelling at me about not being able to find the remote for the tv. I said Pheobe was the last to use it since she was watching, Saved by the Bell, that morning. Victor then grabbed my arm and threw me hard on to the couch and told me to find it by the time he came back or else. I was trying to hold back my tears looking everywhere in the family room for the remove. I looked under the table, in the couch cushions, and under the couch but the remote was no where to be found. Victor walked back in to the family room holding the sandwich he just made and I burst in to tears trying to explain that I couldn't find the remote. Victor put his sandwich down and grabbed my arm dragging me to the couch with such force that I tripped and fell hitting my head on the coffee table. My left eyebrow was now gushing blood, but Victor didn't care so he stood me up and spanked me all the while muttering, "You are not my child, my child wouldn't be crying over hitting her head on the coffee table. You must be inherit your this cowardly trait from Sam. You are old enough to know now that I am not your father, thank God. Your father was a good for nothing loser that raped your mother, and now I am stuck raising you!" Then Victor stopped spaniking me and I just stood there trying to get my sobs under control. Just then the front door open and my mother and Pheobe walk in with the groceries. Victor quickly picks me up in a loving hug and whispers in my ear, "Tell anyone about what happened today and I'll tell your sisters all about your real father." My mom rushed over to see what had happened and Victor explained, "She has been running around the house all morning and she tripped over the rug and hit her head on the coffee table." Then he looked at me and said, "Have you learned your lesson?" I nodded my head and went over to my mother, who picked me up lovingly and looked the cut on my head saying I would probably need stiches.

For the next 7 years Victor has been secretly torturing me, and now it is starting to escalate since my sisters are gone and my mom works nights. I have started hanging out at my friends house a lot and going to a bunch of parties, anything to avoid going home. My grades have dropped drastically since I am never home to study. I used to be one of the top kids in my class taking all honors courses, in-fact I skipped freshman year of high school. Now I am barely getting C's in my senior year. My mom is worried and keeps asking if I am ok. I reply with my standard answer of 'YES!'. I think my mom has even convinced Prue, Piper, and Pheobe to call and get me open up. Lately, Prue and Piper have been calling my cell like once a week to just talk, before we would only really talk when they visited from Chicago. And that was only at the holidays. The phone calls are pretty much one ended with me providing my one word response to their questions. Pheobe on the otherhand has been IM'ing me all the time from New York. Pheobe and I have always been real close, but I have started pushing her away wanting to be left alone. Don't get me wrong, I love my sisters and I appreciate them trying to help me, but I need to keep my secret. I need to keep their love , if they knew what my biological father did to mom they would hate me and I don't think I could live with that.

This week I am graduating from high school. Mom and Victor believe that I am attending the American University in Washington D.c., but I am secretly going to Westpoint Academy. I know my mom and sisters would totally freak out if they knew so I am going in secret. I will eventually tell them but no until it is too late for them to stop me from attending. Going to West Point has been my goal since a recreuter visited my Sophmore year. I liked what he had said about the challenges both physically and intellectually. I was hooked and from then on I made sure I was physically prepared to go since I knew my grades were good enough. Thank god I was accepted last semester and they haven't seen this semesters grades. I was accepted into their Summer program so in 3 weeks I will be off to New York. I can't wait and only hope that these last 3 weeks I won't have to spend too much time with Victor.


	2. Chapter 2

The alarm clock on my cell phone goes off and I slowly get dressed in the dark, it is only 4 AM. I silently make my way downstairs only to bump into Prue and Piper who are wide awake, do to their jetlag. I grab my MP3 player, wave goodbye, and start on my 7 mile run. I have been doing this routine for awhile now, trying to build my endurance before boot camp starts. I've found that running helps clear my head and lately that has been something I have needed. About an hour later I am back home and start working on my sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups. I then go back in to the manor and see all 3 of my sisters sitting around the island drinking coffee. I couldn't believe Pheobe was actually up, but I guess it is technically 8:30 am in New York. I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and Piper asks me to hand her the eggs while I'm there. I smile, Piper is going to make breakfast which means I don't have to have oatmeal today. I sit down next to Pheobe and my sisters try to start a conversation with me.

Prue: So are you excited about this evening, with your graduation and everything?

Paige: Yeah, I can't wait for it to be over.

Pheobe: You are going to love college Paige. You don't have to go to school as much as you do in high school and there are tons of parties.

Piper: Pheobe! Don't set a bad example for Paige. Paige, college is fun but it is important to also take it seriously, it helps determine your future.

Paige: I know. I'm kind of sick of partying anyway, that is all I have been doing for the last 5 months.

My sisters all look at each other wondering if they should continue talking about my unusual behavior lately. Thankfully, Prue changes the topic at hand.

Prue: So how long have you been getting up early to go running? You never used to do that.

I look at Prue like she is crazy and then remember only Pheobe really knows my morning habits since they started well after Prue and Piper moved out.

Paige: I have been running like this for the last 2 and a half years. It relaxes me and gets me started on my day.

Pheobe: Well Paige it's crazy. No one should get up to workout when it is still dark. You are missing some prime sleeping time.

Paige: Pheobe you know me I never sleep more than 4 to 5 hours a night anyway so it is no big deal for me to wake up early.

Prue: Why don't you sleep more? You should always try and get at least 8 hours a night.

I sigh. I swear these guys have forgetten everythin about me when they moved out. Even when I was little I was the last to fall asleep and the first to wake up. I can't explain it I just don't get tired at night until like 1 am and then my body naturally wakes you at like 5 am, I don't get tired during the day so I can't take naps during the day.

Paige: You guys I have always been like this, don't you remember?

Piper: Well I think Paige should keep it up. She must enjoy it or she would have stopped by now. What do mom and dad say about you running around the city when it is still dark out.

Paige: They don't know, so don't you guys say anything.

Prue: Paige! You need to tell them, you could get hurt and no one would know where you were.

Paige: I have my cell and id on me when I go running. I'm not telling them besides I am moving out in like 2 weeks so it doesn't even matter.

Prue starts to respond but is inerrupted by mom entering the kitchen.

Mom: What are all my girls doing awake this early? Smells good Piper, your dad will be happy not to have oatmeal for breakfast.

Piper: No problem mom. I had to make Paige's favorite since it is her big day today.

Mom: I know I can't believe all my babies are done with high school. The house is so quiet with you 3 gone and in 2 weeks when Paige leaves it will be so empty.

Paige: It shouldn't be too different from now, I'm hardly ever home as it is.

Mom: I know but we'll still miss you.

Victor enters the kitchen.

Victor: Smells good. Who are we going to miss?

Mom: Paige, when she leaves in 2 weeks.

Victor: Oh Yeah, we'll miss you.

Piper: Breakfast is ready!

We all sit around the table quietly eating breakfast, Victor is smiling at me across the table. Probably ecstatic that his burden will soon be gone. When I am done eating I quietly excuse myself from the table to go get ready for the day. As I gather my stuff in my room and start heading to the bathroom Victor walks in and shuts my bedroom door. He has this smirk on his face and I can tell I will not walk out of this room with out a bruise somewhere. He slaps me hard across the head, careful not to hit my face and leave a mark. My stuff falls out of my arms and I look up into his eyes refusing to let any tears come to the surface. I wait for whatever he has in store for me. Victor pushes me to the ground, "You shower last. I pay the bills around here and MY daughters will not be taking cold showers." I look up at him careful to avoid his eyes and nod my head. I stand up as he is leaving, but he quickly turns around hitting me in the stomach. As I am bent over trying to catch my breath he tells me, "Pick up your crap off the floor, and remember don't tell anyone about this or everyone will find about your father." He leaves the room and I sink to the floor still trying to regain proper control of my breathing and picking up my stuff. I then grab my walet and MP3 player and head to the garage to get my bike. I ride around the Golden Gate Park and the city for the next 2 hours and return home to get ready for the day.

As I walk in the house I hear Prue yell, "She's back!" Then my mom comes rushing in to the front hall and gives me a big hug, "Where have you been? You said you were taking a shower and when we didn't hear the water running Pheobe went up to check on you and you were gone." I push back from the hug and looked at my worried family and try to think of an explaination, "I figured these 3 weren't used to cold showers lately so I went for a bike ride to give everyone a chance to get a warm shower before I came home. Sorry, I didn't think you would notice and get worried." Prue throws her arm around my shoulder and leads me towrd the stairs, "Of course we would notice you disappearing for 2 hours, squirt. Go upstairs and get ready then your three sister are taking you shopping for dorm stuff and going to lunch."

The rest of the day goes great, my sisters try and help me pick up stuff for my dorm room. I do reject a lot of the things they pick out, knowing they were unacceptable at Westpoint. I explain to my sisters I only want the bare minimum so it is easier to pack and travel. They put up a small fight to this eplainantion but eventually give in knowing I wasn't going to back down. Then the four of us stop at a deli and have lunch before heading home. The whole time I was pretty quiet, but my sisters did enough talking for me not to be noticed too much. When we arrive home Pheobe drags me up the stairs to our room.

Paige: Pheobe, what are we doing? I don't have to be ready for like anouther 3 hours.

Pheobe: That gives us just enough time to get you ready for graduation.

Paige: Uh, Pheebs I am going just like I am dressed now. No one is going to notice with the graduation gown so I didn't think I would dress up.

Pheobe: Non-sense! We are helping you get ready, Glenn is going to be there right?

Paige: Yeah, but we are just friends, well sometimes friends - with benefits, but right now just friends. So see no reason to go through all this fuss.

I am silently praying that Pheobe will drop this idea, she knows I hate dressing up and the whole make-up thing. I never really got over the tomboy thing.

Pheobe: It's no fuss, besides Prue and Piper will be so disappointed if they can't help. Prue, Piper get in here!

I cringe at thought of the next 3 hours, there is no way I will be able to get out of this torture. Prue and Piper both come walking into the bedroom with their stuff in hand. I fantically try to think of anything to escape.

Paige: I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom.

I practically run into the bathroom. The next thing I know the bathroom door opens and Victor walks over to me grabbing my arm and slapping me on the head again. He hits my head so hard that for a moment I see stars dancing in front of my eyes. Ugh, I am so going to have a headache.

Victor: You will your sisters do what ever they want and won't give them any grief. You got that?

I nod my head and walk out of the bathroom and back to my room.

Piper: You ok Paige, your a little pale.

Paige: I'm ok Pip, just have a headache thats all.

Piper: Well why don't you just laydown on your bed while we pick everything out. Then we'll get you ready.

I nod my head and Prue guides me over to the bed. As I lay down she lays a hand on to my forehead and notices that I feel a little warm.

Prue: Are you sure you feel ok? Your a little warm, maybe your getting sick.

Paige: I'm fine, just a bad headache. I just need to close my eyes for a bit.

I can sense that my sisters are starting to get worried, because I never try to sleep during the middle of the day.

Prue: Ok. Piper run downstairs and get Paige an icepack for her head while I get her headache medicine.

My sisters run off to do their tasks and Pheobe sits next to me on the bed running her hands through my hair trying to relax me enough to sleep for a bit. I take my migaine medicien from Prue and I can feel my eyelids getting heavy and I barely notice the cold feeling of the icepack being place on my head. I am woken up about 2 hours later and see my mom's concerned eyes looking me over. I squint my eyes trying to ward off the brightness of the room.

Mom: Are you feeling any better, honey?

Paige: I'm ok, just a headache. What time is it?

Mom: 5 pm, so it is time for you to get ready for your graduation.

Paige: Ok, where is everyone?

Mom: Your sisters are waiting anxiuosly in the hallway wanting to help you get ready for tonight.

I sigh and sit up a bit, but I feel real sick to my stomach. I get up and run into the bathroom and lose my lunch. My mom also rushes into the bathroom and helps me sit up and gets me a glass of water.

Mom: Oh honey, are you sure you want to go tonight.

Paige: I'll be fine, I'm already feeling a little better. Everyone came in town to see me graduate so I should go.

Mom: Alright, but if you start to feel worse just let me know. Your sisters came in to visit you not to just see you graduate. I'll tell them to take it easy on you when your getting ready.

I nod my head and get up so I can take a shower and brush my teeth. By the time I get back into my room I am feeling a little better, but I must still look bad because the moment I walk into my bedroom Prue sits me down on my desk chair.

Prue: Are you feeling better?

Paige: Yeah.

Prue doesn't look too convinced, but Pheobe comes over and hands me the dress I am suppose to wear. I look at it and can't remember it from anywhere, it must be one of Pheebs. I get changed and then sit back down and let my 3 sisters do whatever they want to my hair and make-up. Once they are done we go to the ceremony where I sit down with 800 of my classmates. I pretty much space out through the whole thing, but I do get through it and even manage to have a conversation with Glen. After the ceremony my family takes me out to dinner at my favorite restraunt, Quake. I pick at my food not really feeling up to eating at the moment. Victor gives me a look and I try to eat some more of my dinner. Piper puts her arm around me and takes the fork out of my hand, "Honey, if you aren't feeling well you don't have to keep eating. We'll just get it wrapped and you can have it tomorrow." With my head on her should I nod and close my eyes. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know Piper is helping me walk out to the car. Once we get home my sisters help me go upstairs and get ready for bed.

The next morning I am feeling 100 better and go for my usual run. By the time I get back everyone is in the kitchen enjoying breakfast. I grab a bottle of water and sit down next to Prue and dig into the omlete Piper made for me. The week goes by quickly and before I knew it my sisters were packing up their belongings and heading back to Chicago and New York.

Prue: You be good squirt. I am going to be busy this week with a photo shoot, but give me a call when you get to school next week.

Paige: Ok. Thanks for coming Prue I really had fun with you guys.

Prue: So did I squirt. See ya. Let's go Piper or we'll miss our flight.

Piper: Relax Prue we have plenty of time. Missy Paige you have to come visit me in Chicago, I'll make you a great meal at my restraunt. Then Prue and I will show you all around the city.

Paige: I'll try. When I get an idea of my schedule I'll come visit all of you guys. I won't be too far from Pheobe so I might visit her first.

Pheobe: That is because I am the best big sister around, righty Paigey.

Paige: Ugh, I hate when you call me Paigey. I'll see or talk to you guys soon. Bye and have a good flight.

My sisters go back to their lives and life at the manor goes back to normal, lots of fighting. The week is going by pretty fast, I spend most of my time at Glen's or with my mom who wants to take me shopping. my last night in the manor is a little weird. I am packing my stuff in my room and I can hear my mom crying in her bedroom. I think she is crying because I am leaving and then I hear Victor yelling at her, "Don't worry about her, this will be great. We will finally be rid of her and start living the life we were suppose to." I hear my mom's muffled response, "Don't say that Victor, I love Paige and this is the life we are suppose to be living. I am sorry that Paige isn't yours, but we were seperated at the time and Sam was a good man. We went out for a couple months and then he died in that horrible car accident and you came back wanting to try again at our marriage. You knew when we got back together that I was pregnant, it was your decision to take on Paige as your own. I just can't believe that she is all grown up and leaving tomorrow morning."

I am sitting in my room with my jaw practically hitting the ground and only one thought going through my head, 'Sam wasn't a rapist, he was a good man.' I stayed up the whole night just thinking about how I have felt horrible about how I was concieved for the past 7 years and now I find out that it was a lie. My mother was never raped, Victor just wanted to keep me under his thumb. All of a sudden Victor bursts in to my room, I stand up and face him. I can barely contain my anger, "I heard everything. You lied to me, mom was never raped." Victor looks surprised but then starts clapping, "About time you figured it out. You are so easy to trick, you never once doubted the story I told you. However, you still can't tell your mom or sisters what has been going on, because your sisters really do believe that you are their sister and you don't want to ruin their family do you?" I shake my head knowing he is right, I don't want to ruin my mom and sisters perfect family. It doesn't matter what I feel about this family because I never really belonged. Victor grabs my chin and makes me look him in the face, he obviously wants to hear my answer so I stutter out, "n-no." He then hits me in the stomach and I fall over in pain and he kicks my rib cage. I don't cry out because I am too busy just trying to remember how to breathe. I hear Victor walk out of the room, closing the door behind him. I lay there until I hear my mom calling for me to get my stuff because it is time to leave. I slowly get up and grab my bags and head downstairs. My mom and Victor drop me off at the terminal to say their goodbyes. The whole time I am thinking of how I am so glad to get out of the house and move on to my new life.


	3. Chapter 3

On the plane I start writing 4 letters I know I will have to mail before I arrive at Westpoint. The academy has a strict honor code that includes not to lie or tolerate those that do so, and I plan on living up to this code. Therefore, I am writing my family and letting them know I am not going to the American University but to Westpoint. It is hard to tell my mom and sisters why I have chosen this life, this decision very much determines the route my life will take. After 4 years of school I am obligated to serve 5 years active duty in the US Army and then 3 years of reserve duty. That is the main reason I have hidden this decision from my family. I am happy about serving with some of the best people the US has to offer, but it is also very scary to do so since we are currently at war. After thinking long and hard about what I should say in the letters I start:

Dear Mom, Prue, Piper, and Pheobe,

I am writing you this letter on my way to school. I have lots of time to kill since the flight from California to New York is pretty long, that is right I said New York. I know I told everyone I was going to the American University in DC, but that was a lie. A lie that I feel I can no longer keep to myself. I am actually attending Westpoint Military Academy. I know as you are reading this you are probably getting pretty mad. You might be asking yourself, how could I lie to all of you these past couple of months? Well it hasn't been easy, especially when you guys were in town taking me shopping for dorm stuff. Now you know why I couldn't have all that stuff you guys were picking out for my room. At Westpoint you just arrive with the basics and everything else is taken care of. I hope you don't think this is some stupid, rash decision I have made without thinking of the consequences, because believe me I know exactly what I am getting myself into. I know this will mean a military life for the next 9 - 12 years of my life, but I welcome that challenge and the commradary of my peers.

I first became interested in the academy my Sophomore year when a recruiter came and gave a speech at our high school, you should remember that assembly Pheobe. I stayed after and talked to the cadet for awhile asking all my questions and he gave all sorts of great information. Now I don't want you to think that I only received information from a recruiter, I also did a bunch of research on the web and at the library. After all my research I couldn't think of a drawback. I know that right now having a military life is very dangerous with the war against terrorism. But I also know that if I passed this opportunity up I would regret it for the rest of my life. I choose Westpoint because I want to be challenged physically and mentally, but I also want to developer good leadership and not to sound cliche but, "be the best that I can be." After my decision was made I had to do a lot of work to make my dream a reality. First off, I had to get someone to recommend me so I contacted our Congresswoman and she wrote me up a very nice recommendation based on my grades and extracurricular activities. I then had to get myself in the proper shape in order to handle the rigorous basic training at the academy. After 2 years of building up my credentials and applying to the academy I finally received my notice of acceptance to the academy. I was so happy and it was so hard to keep this accomplishment to myself since I had to work so hard to achieve part of my goal. Now I when this plane lands and start basic training I will have truly made my goal.

I hope you are not too angry at my decision but rather at me for lying to you these past couple of months. I know an apology will not be enough, especially through a letter, but I am very sorry for keeping this from you. I knew if I told you straight out that I wanted to attend Westpoint you would do everything in your power to prevent me from doing so, and I had enough problems these past 2 years with out adding to it.

I hope you can one day forgive me and maybe even understand my reasoning. I will write and call you whenever I can. These next 6 weeks I will be going through basic training so I doubt I will have much time to call you but I will write.

Love always,

Paige

P.S. - Pheobe I am only 50 miles north of the city so when I get a break you'll have to show me around.

After writing these four letters I put them in their respective envelops, hoping that my family will not be too mad. I then take out my MP3 player and listen to my music the rest of the flight hoping to calm my nerves a bit. I don't think I have every been this nervous/excited before. I kind of feel like I am going on my first roller coaster, I can't wait but at the same time there is some fear. I can feel the plane start its decent and I pack up my belongings and look out the window. The city looks so big from up here, I wonder where Pheobe lives down there. Then the plane lands and I make my way out of the gate and mail my letters. I then go to the shuttle waiting for arriving cadets. I am greeted by a third year cadet and other new cadets eager to get started. We all climb on to the shuttle and make our way towards the campus. I look around the shuttle and I can tell I am not the only one that is nervous.


	4. Chapter 4

It is pitch black, humid, and all around me I can hear people breathing heavily. I am so glad I have been getting up early and running the past two years, it has indiscreetly given me an advantage over my peers. As I look back the past eight weeks seem to have flown by, but I remember that each one of those days was extremely long and tiring. I have most certainly learned a lot about myself during boot camp and what I am capable of if I believe in myself. I have met so many interesting people from all over the country and each one has been very talented making the level of competition at Westpoint is incredible. Every cadets seems to be finding out that no matter how talented they are at something there is most likely someone as talented or more so than them at the academy. That alone is enough to make you strive to do better in everything you attempt.

Even though life at Westpoint has been non-stop and chaotic I feel sort of at peace and relaxed. I can't believe the impact the stress at home was having on my life. The thought of having to go back during breaks overwhelms me and is making me contemplate ever going back. As I am thinking about my family I check my e-mail, for the first time in since I arrived, and find that I have several letters from my mom and sisters. I scan through each quickly nervous about what their reactions will be to my unexpected news. Phoebe's e-mail is first since she received my letter first promptly followed promptly by everyone else's.

Paige-

What are you thinking! How could you lie to me all this time? I am trying to understand the reasons you stated in your letter, but I still can not believe you kept this from me. We have always been so close and always confided in each other. I am starting to wonder if we were ever as close as I had thought, because I would never keep something this big from you. I am not sure how else to respond, I am shocked and deeply hurt by your actions. I have called mom, Prue, and Piper to let them know where you are and they were all upset. I guess their letters have not arrived yet. Give me a call when you get a break and can come into the city and we'll talk about this some more then.

Got to go

Phoebe's

Dear Paige,

Phoebe called and told me something that at first I thought was a joke, but now as I am reading your letter I know is true. I am so sorry that you felt you couldn't express your desires to me. You are right in thinking I would have tried to dissuade you from making this choice but, I never would have forbid it knowing that it was what you truly wanted. I would have been supportive and tried to help you achieve your goals. I am however disappointed in you for not telling me and leading me to believe you we going to a different school. Please call me when you can, we need to discuss this matter and I need to hear your voice to know that you are ok.

Love Always,

Mom

Squirt,

What is going on? I can't believe you are doing this. The only thing stopping me from driving to New York to drag you away from Westpoint is Piper. I can't talk about this through mail, when you get a chance give me a call and I will listen to your explanation.

Prue

Missy Paige,

I know you are probably being bombarded with notes from everyone expressing their concern and hurt feelings. It has been the only thing the family has talked about since Phoebe received her letter and called everyone else. I know Phoebe, Prue, and mom are all shocked by this revelation, but I can say honestly that I am not. I could just sense something has been different with you the past couple of years. Now that I think back on it, I first noticed the change in your attitude when you started high school. You just had this determined look about you, I was never able to figure it out but know it all makes sense now. After reading your letter I did some research of my own on Westpoint and I am so proud of you for getting accepted. It seems like the qualifications to even be considered a candidate are very hard to meet. I can't believe you were able to do this on your own with out any support and I want you to know that I am 100 behind you in this endeavor.

I am glad you finally confided in us and I will try and make the others more understanding of your situation. I hope they are feeding you well and I can't wait to see you in your uniform. : )

Love,

Piper

After reading the replies I am shocked by how hurt everyone seems to be. I know that what I did was wrong, but if I had to go back and do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing. I reply to everyone letting them know that I am ok and that with boot camp over classes will be starting next week. I let Phoebe know that my next break is Labor Day, and ask her if it would be ok for me to stop by and hang out. I tell Prue and mom that I will call them sometime tonight to talk about my situation. Then I write Piper a long e-mail thanking her for her support. I really don't know how I would have handled four negative responses, but knowing that at least someone understands me and actually noticed the changes in my behavior the last couple of years is comforting. I even briefly considered confiding my deepest secret to her knowing that she would love me even if I am not really her sister, but her half-sister.


	5. Chapter 5

Life has been crazy the last 5 months. I have finally chosen a major in aviation engineering, in hopes of one day having the chance at becoming a pilot in the Army. I have also been keeping myself busy by competing on the intramural soccer team and holding a job in the library. Between my classes, work, soccer, and my additional cadet training I have had no time to relax so Thanksgiving break could not have come sooner. One whole week off, with nothing to do except spend time with my family in Chicago and eat Piper's wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. The only negative part of the whole trip is that Victor will be there, but at least he and mom are staying at a hotel while Phoebe and I will be at Prue's and Piper's condo. As the bus finally arrives at Central Station I throw on my coat and grab my bags. I enter the station with about 50 other cadets, all of us in uniform trying to make our train and spend much needed time at home. I finally spot Phoebe over by the benches and walk over to her, I can tell that at first she does not recognize me, probably the uniform, but when she finally does she come rushing over practically tackling me with a hug.

Phoebe: Paige! I didn't recognize you. How are you? What's new? Have you lost weight? What is with the uniform?

Paige: It's good to see you as well Pheebs, slow down we have about an 8 hour train ride to catch up on everything.

Phoebe: I know it's just that I haven't seen you since Labor Day and that was forever ago.

Paige: I think they just called our train, lets go and then we can catch up on everything.

Phoebe: Ok, I hope we get a meal on the train I am starving.

I laugh knowing that Phoebe is always starving. Once we find our seats, I run up to the food car and grab us some drinks and snacks since I am also pretty hungry. As I sit back down in my seat Phoebe launches in to her assault of questions for the second time.

Phoebe: Thanks for the food. So tell me what's with the uniform and why are you so skinny?

Paige: I am wearing the uniform because I was required to wear it for dinner earlier today and I didn't have time to change before I got here. And I'm not sure I am following the whole skinny thing, I am the same weight I was last time you saw me, but maybe I am just more toned now. So what is new with you, how are your classes?

Phoebe: Not a whole lot new with me just parties and maybe some classes, but I am mostly just having fun. You know me and classes don't really get along too well, so I go every now and then. I switched my major again, it's Psychology now.

Paige: How many times have you switched, 3?

Phoebe: So I am just trying a little bit of everything so I know what I really want to do. I am almost 90 sure that I am sticking with Psych though, I really like it.

Paige: That's good, I'm happy you found something you like. I also finally chose my major, aviation engineering.

Phoebe: Wow, that sounds hard.

Paige: Well it's what I want to do so I am willing to put in the effort. I can't wait to have Piper's cooking, the food at Westpoint is nothing compared to hers.

Phoebe: Same here.

The conversation goes back and forth for awhile and at some point I must have nodded off because before I know it Phoebe is shaking my shoulder saying we have arrived. I groggily grab my stuff and follow Phoebe off the train and outside the station, where we are met with hugs from both Piper and Prue. Piper takes my backpack and wraps her arm around me leading us to the EL (a/n Chicago's elevate train).

Piper: So Missy Paige, how ya doing? You look all spiffy in your uniform.

Paige: I'm good. Oh yeah (yawn) the uniform, I was going to change on the train but I fell asleep and forgot.

Piper: No it's good, I wanted to see you in it. It suits you. Tired huh?

Paige: Yep, it's been a long week.

I glance behind us to see Prue walking with Phoebe asking her all sorts of questions.

Paige: So how is Prue doing with the whole Westpoint thing?

Piper: I think she is ok with it, we both did a bunch of research and know how much of an opportunity this for you and how hard you had to work to get in. She is mostly concerned about how you are handling everything.

Paige: I'm ok, I'm just busy all the time. Next semester things will slow down a bit without soccer. I'm starving.

Piper: Well we are stopping at this great breakfast place that is a couple of blocks from our condo, so you will have food soon.

Paige: Thanks.

When we arrive at the cafe the four of us grab a booth and Piper quickly sits next to Phoebe forcing Prue to share a bench with me. After we each order breakfast Piper engages Phoebe in a conversation leaving Prue and myself to try and make our own conversation. I figure I should start since I have created this awkwardness between us.

Paige: So Prue how has it been working for Chicago Magazine? Get to meet any famous people lately.

Prue: Work is good and I haven't met anyone famous recently, but a couple of months ago I did a photo shoot of Nicholas Cage since he just shot a movie here.

Paige: So was he nice?

Prue: He seemed nice, but it was hard to say the shoot did not last long since he had to get back to another publicity thing.

Paige: Well it's cool that you get to make your living enjoying your hobby and you get to meet interesting people.

Prue: I know it makes me happy that I am not stuck behind a desk. So how have you been?

Paige: I've been good. It's nice to have this week off, I have been so busy the last 5 months.

Prue: With what, I mean besides school?

Paige: Well I have my classes, cadet training, I work at the library, and I am on a soccer team. Westpoint is huge into athletics, I'd swear it is almost required. Next semester should ease up a bit since soccer will be over, but then I start my major courses.

Prue: So you've picked a major? Are you going to stick with it or are you going to pull a Phoebe?

Paige: I have chosen aviation engineering and yes I will be sticking with it. I want to fly planes or helicopters, not sure which yet.

Prue: Wow! That is an exciting prospect, maybe one day you can take me on ride.

Paige: Sure, this summer I am going to start flying lessons that is why I am working at the library. Need to get some money for the lessons.

Prue: Well you redefine seem to have an action plan. I'm happy for you and I'm glad that you told us about Westpoint, you shouldn't feel the need to hide things from your family.

Paige: Thanks Prue, I just was having a rough time the last couple of years and I didn't really want to get into a fight about Westpoint and everything.

Prue: So what was the cause of your rough time?

Paige: Nothing, it doesn't matter anymore I was able to get through it and sort most of it out.

Prue: Well just know that you can always talk to us about things.

Paige: I know, thanks.

When we finished breakfast the four of us head to Prue and Piper's condo. Once there I am given a tour of their place and I change out of my uniform. As I am walking towards the living room I hear the laughter of my sisters and I am immediately remind of all the fun times we had when we were younger. When I walk in the room I see that Phoebe and Prue are teasing Piper about her obsessive compulsive need to keep everything in the condo in order. It is then that I look around a bit closer and notice that everything is in it's place and there is absolutely no dust through out the entire place.

Paige: Jeez Prue do you guys really live here? I mean you are never this clean, your room was always a disaster area.

Piper: Tell me about it, I had to practically lock her in her room this week to make sure there was room for us to even walk in it.

Typical Piper always keeping things orderly. I sit on the chair across from my sisters on the couch and everyone is silent again.

Paige: So when is mom coming in?

Prue: Mom and dad are coming in Monday night so we have the whole weekend to ourselves.

Paige: Do you guys have to work?

Piper: I have to work on Monday and Tuesday, but then I am off until next Saturday.

Prue: I just have a shoot Monday afternoon and then I'm free the rest of the week. Did you guys have anything you wanted to do while you were in town?

Phoebe: Shop, go to a club, and shop some more.

Paige: Well I can go shopping with you guys, but I doubt I can get into any of the clubs since I am only 18. You guys should redefine go and while your gone I'll get my homework done.

Phoebe: You brought homework? Just blow it off we'll find a way to sneak you in.

Paige: Yes I brought my homework do you have any idea of the punishments that come with not having it done. I'd be running laps around campus forever. So it is not a problem for me to sit down and just get it over with tonight and be able to enjoy the rest of the week.

Phoebe: I can't ...

Piper: Then it's settled, tonight the three of us will hit a couple of clubs and Paige will get her homework done.

Prue: Sounds like a plan to me. So you want us to show you around town in the mean time?

Paige: Yeah, let's go see that bean thing at the millennium park.

Piper: Ok. Then we can go shopping since we won't be too far from State Street or Michigan Avenue.

Phoebe: Alright, lets go see this bean and then have fun.

Later that afternoon the four of us come back from shopping. I am completely exhausted, we have walked all over the place and it seems like the week has finally caught up with me. Piper goes in to the kitchen and I can smell her whipping up dinner. Prue and I are sitting on the couch while Phoebe is modeling all her new clothes for us. I lay my head on Prue's shoulder and shut my eyes while Phoebe runs back in to the bedroom to change into another outfit.

Prue: Are you tired squirt?

Paige: Yeah, this week has been crazy. I had all my normal stuff and then I was trying to finish some other things up so I would be able to leave yesterday.

Prue: Why don't you skip your homework tonight and just get some sleep. We'll take Phoebe out tomorrow night as well and you can do your homework then.

Paige: I don't know I have an awful lot, I might try to at least start some of it tonight and then finish it tomorrow.

Prue: I think dinners ready, lets go.

After eating my first great meal in 5 months I offer to clean up the kitchen so everyone else can get ready for their night on the town. An hour later I start working on my differential equation homework, trying not to get lost in the "Good Will Hunting" type math. Piper comes out of her room looking great and sits on the couch behind me.

Piper: Yuck, what is that?

Paige: My math homework. I hate it, always takes me forever to even understand a little bit of it before I can even attempt to do the homework.

Piper: Well good luck with that and we'll be back probably around 2, so goodnight Missy Paige.

Paige: Goodnight and have fun.

After 3 hours I finally finish my math homework. I look at the clock and see that it is only mid-night so I grab my a novel that I am required to read for my Literary Criticism class. I lay down on the couch and start reading one of the most boring books I have ever read and quickly fall asleep. The next morning Prue takes the book I was reading off of my chest and shakes me awake.

Prue: Squirt it is time to wake up, it's almost 10.

Paige: It's 10, I haven't slept this late in months.

Prue: I figured which is why I let you sleep in. But everyone else is up now so it's time for you to get ready for the day.

Paige: Ok. Thanks.

I walk into the kitchen after getting ready for the day and I can tell that Phoebe is a little hung over nursing a cup of strong coffee.

Paige: So what time did you guys get back last night, I didn't hear you come in.

Piper: Yeah you were out on the couch, I don't know how you didn't hear Phoebe giggling. We came home right around 3 or so. Did you finish your homework?

Paige: I finished my math, it took me a lot longer than I thought and I started to read a novel for my English class, but I didn't get very far. So in answer to your question no, but almost.

Phoebe: I still can't believe you passed up the club last night for homework.

Paige: Listen, I know you don't understand but I need to get my work done so I don't get in trouble when I get back to school. Westpoint is not like NYU, the only consequence to not doing your homework is not just your grade, but also in your training.

Prue: Let's not fight it is too early and the three of us are hung over. Phoebe, Paige couldn't have come if she wanted to because she is too young. And Paige don't be so hard on Phoebe she just wants to make sure you are happy.

Piper: How about today we go to some museums and then we can go to China town for an early dinner.

Paige: Chinese, my favorite. Let's go.

The rest of the day was pretty much a repeat of Saturday, we all had fun and then my sisters went out for another night on the town while I finished my novel and wrote my paper. After I finished my homework I fell asleep watching tv with one thought on my mind, tomorrow I'll have to deal with Victor.

I awoke to the sound of Piper's alarm clock and the sound of the shower running. In an effort to help my sister I get up and start the coffee, I then find the toaster and pop tarts and make my specialty. What can I say I make a mean pop tart. I pour a cup of coffee for Piper and grab myself a glass of water because I think coffee tastes nasty. I don't know how the rest of my family can drink something so awful first thing in the morning. Thirty minutes later Piper enters the kitchen surprised that I am up.

Piper: Hey there missy what are you doing up?

Paige: My body is used to getting up early so I thought I'd get up grab some breakfast and go for a run.

Piper: Well thanks for the coffee and if you get changed you can ride with me on the train and run on the trail that runs along the lake. You would just have to get off the stop after mine and you'll be there.

Paige: That sounds good. Can you write a note to Prue letting her know where I'll be while I get changed and grab my mp3 player.

Piper: Sure.

As Piper and I are waiting for the train to arrive I can tell she is studying me. I hope she doesn't look too closely and notice that I am nervous for what will come of tonights reunion.

Piper: What's wrong Paige and don't say nothing I can tell you are nervous about something.

I won't make eye contact with my sister as I consider letting her in on the truth. I know I have hesitated too long when she wraps her arm around my shoulder and gives me a hug.

Piper: Please tell me Missy Paige, your making me worried.

I am having an internal battle with myself. If I tell her what will she think of me, will we still be sisters. I don't know what I would do if she rejected me after hearing my secret. I feel her other hand slip under my chin and tilt my head upwards so that she can see my eyes. I try to stop the tears from welling in my eyes, but it is too late.

Piper: That's it I am calling in late to work and we are going to talk things out.

Paige: You don't have to do that I'm fine.

Piper: Don't start that Paige, you will tell me what is wrong before I go to work and don't even try lying to me.

I look back down at my feet and we hop on the train when it arrives. By the time we get off Piper has called the resturant telling them she won't be in for the day because of a family emergency. Piper leads me to the trail by the lake and we walk in silence for awhile until I stop at a bench over looking the lake and sit down. Piper sits next to me and I can feel her eyes looking me over trying to figure out what is going on in my mind. I stare at my hands and start telling her my secret.

Paige: I have wanted to tell you guys for the last eight years, but I am afraid of what you will think of me once you find out.

Piper: I will always love you Paige no matter what you say. Please tell me it's not good for you to have held a secret for so long.

I take a deep, stuttering breath and start my story.

Paige: About eight years ago Victor and I were alone at home and he was real mad at me because he thought I lost the remote for the tv. H-he pushed me and I hit my head on the coffee table then he told me something I would never have thought possible. He t-told me that he was not my father just his burden. He told me mom was raped by my father and that he was just trying to be nice to mom and look after me. For the next 6 or 7 years he hit me and then warned me that if I told anyone he would tell you guys about me not really being your sister. So I never told anyone because I didn't want you guys to leave me. Then right before I moved out I overheard mom and Victor fighting and I found out that my father, Sam, did not rape mom. They apparently dated when mom and Victor were separated and I was the product of that relationship. Sam died in a car accident and then Victor and mom got back together and pretended I was their daughter.

Piper: What?

Paige: I'm sorry, I can go back to school...

Piper: Stop. You are not going anywhere. Are you sure, I mean about dad.

Paige: Well if it is not true then he has been abusing me for seven years and lying to me about the reasoning.

Piper: He hit you?

I can't speak anymore I can hear the skepticism in her voice so I just nod my head and stare out at the lake. Oh god she doesn't believe me, what have I done. I should get out of here, go back to New York.

Piper: Paige please look at me. I believe you, I know you wouldn't lie about something like this.

I slowly turn and see the tears in Piper's eyes.

Paige: I'm so sorry I knew I shouldn't have told anyone. Just forget the whole thing it doesn't matter things don't have to change. Everything has been fine the last eight years we can just continue on like nothing was ever said.

I stand up, too nervous to hear her response.

Piper: Don't! I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. You are still my sister I don't care if Victor is your father or not. You will always be the sister who always sticks up for me and the one who comes to me when she is not feeling good. I'm just shocked, I thought you were going to tell me you were unhappy about Westpoint not about being abused and Victor not being your father. Come here.

She stands up and opens her arms and I walk into them as she gives me a hug. It is then all my emotions start pouring out of me, I try to contain them but they still come. I am sobbing in my big sisters arms and she sits us back down on the bench still holding on to me. Everything I have feared for the last eight years was wrong, she still loves me even if I am a half-sister.

Piper: Just let it all out Paige, it's ok I'm not going anywhere.

After about 5 minutes of this I compose myself and try to back out of her embrace but she won't let me.

Paige: I'm sorry I blubbered all over you.

Piper: Don't you worry about that you have been bottling that up for so long it just needed to come out. Feel better now?

Paige: A bit, it just feels good to tell someone else. I'm still dreading tonight though.

Piper: I'm glad you told me and I think you should tell the rest of your sisters and mom.

Paige: I don't know I just don't want to ruin the family. I mean everything is ok, Victor just doesn't like me and I can handle that.

Piper: Well I can't and everyone else is going to find out from you or they will hear it from me. Victor should never have hit you ever, even if you aren't his daughter. Mom needs to know and this secret of you not being Victor's daughter should never have been kept to begin with. We all deserve to know where we come from and you should know about your father.

Paige: Will you be with me when I tell them?

Piper: Of course sweetie. When do you want to tell them.

Paige: How about after dinner. Then everyone can have one last happy meal before I turn this family's world upside down.

Piper: Ok. I'll try to stick close so you and Victor don't have to spend anytime alone. And later once this all comes out I want to know what he did to you, ok?

Paige: I figured, but I'm sure everyone else will want to know as well, if they believe me.

Piper: Don't you worry about that, they will. I don't know if you are aware of this but the rest of us have always noticed that you don't really like dad, I mean Victor, so know it is making sense.

Paige: You can still call him dad Piper, he is your father just not mine.

Piper: My father would never abuse a defenseless child so I think I'll call him Victor. You ready to go back?

Paige: Can we just go for a walk first and head back in a bit.

Piper: Whatever you want Missy Paige.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks for the great reviews. I'm glad you like the story and I know reading something in first person is a bit different, but it is the only way I feel comfortable writing. Thanks again!_

Piper and I walk around the lakeshore and Millennium park in silence for what seems like forever until Piper wraps her arm around me and lets me know it is time to get back. I lean into Piper and let her guide me back to the subway. While sitting on the train I could feel Piper studying me again, she grabs my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. I look up into her sympathetic eyes and know she will support me 100. I look back down at my hands trying to think of all the scenarios that could be played out tonight.

Piper: Stop thinking about it Paige, what happens, happens. Worrying about it is not going to help. Just try to focus on something else.

Paige: I'll try. So how are you going to explain you not being at work?

Piper: Oh yeah I forgot about that. Um, I could say the other chef was looking for some over-time and I decided I wanted to spend more time with you guys.

Paige: That should work. Thanks for ditching work today for me and believing me about everything. I don't know what I would have done if you thought I was lying.

Piper: Your welcome, I didn't really want to work anyway. So are there any other secrets in your life I should know about?

Paige: Nope, I'm all out.

Piper: Good, try to keep it that way.

When we walked back into the condo the phone was ringing and we could hear the shower running. I sat myself down on the couch and started flipping through the channels as Piper answered the phone. She walked back in the room a couple minutes later and plopped down right next to me.

Paige: Who was on the phone?

Piper: Mom, she was just making sure we had their flight info. They will be landing at 3 pm so they probably won't get here until 4 or 4:30, depending on the traffic and if they stop at the hotel first.

Paige: Sounds good. Did you want to do...

Prue: Morning Paige...Piper what are you still doing here? Your late for work.

Piper: Good morning to you to Prue and it turns out they don't need me today so I'll be hanging out here with Pheebs and Paige.

Prue: Good then Paige won't get lonely when I leave for work because I don't think we'll be hearing from Phoebe until at least noon. She drank an awful lot last night.

Piper: Yeah I noticed, ya think we should be concerned?

Paige: No I think she is just blowing off some steam before finals start. I am pretty sure she isn't like this all the time.

Prue: Ok, but you let us know the minute you think it is getting out of hand.

Paige: No problemo. There should be coffee left in the kitchen, but it might not be up your standards since I made it.

Prue: Thanks, anything with caffeine will be good enough for me today.

Piper: So kiddo you want to watch a movie until Phoebe gets her butt out of bed.

Paige: Sure what have you got, and please not "Kill it Before it Dies."

Piper: I would never own that movie, it is so awful I don't know what Phoebe sees in it.

Paige: Me either. How about a comedy.

Piper: Since it is close to Christmas how does Elf sound.

Paige: Sure pop it in. I'm going to get some water you want anything?

Piper: No I'm good.

As I walk back in to the living room Prue hollers goodbye and heads off to work. I go to sit on the chair since Piper is laying down on the couch, but she motions for me to lay down with her. Once we are both comfortable Piper hits play and soon we are both out cold. I wake up to Piper stirring behind me. I turn over and see that she is awake and was trying to get off the couch without waking me.

Paige: You could have just woke me up, there is no reason for me to be sleeping in the middle of the day.

Piper: I know you just looked so peaceful and tonight is going to be anything but that so I figured I'd leave you be.

Paige: Thanks for the thought. What time is it? I can't wait until this is all over with.

Piper: It's 2. Can you wake up Phoebe while I make us some lunch.

Paige: Sure stick me with the hard job.

I walk into Prue's room and see Phoebe sprawled out over the entire bed. For fun I hop up on to the bed and start jumping up and down while yelling, "It's time to wake up!" Phoebe rolls over on her back and grabs my legs tackling me on to the bed and starts tickling me. I am laughing so hard tears are running down my face.

Paige: Sttttop! Pleeeease Stop! Uncle!

Phoebe: That is what I thought. Why didn't you let me sleep in Paige, we don't have anything to do until mom and dad get here.

Paige: Uh Pheebs it's 2 pm. Piper is making lunch right now and figured you might want to join us.

Phoebe: It's 2 already, why didn't you wake me up sooner. When are mom and dad getting here.

Paige: We didn't wake you up because we fell asleep on the couch and they'll get here around 4.

Phoebe: Ok, let me grab a shower and I'll be out for lunch in 30 minutes.

Time seems to fly and before I know it Prue is back from her shoot and the buzzer from the lobby door is ringing. I force myself to take a deep breath and tell myself just get through the next couple of hours and then it will be over. A few minutes later there is a knock on the door and as Piper goes to answer the door she pats me on the back letting me know she is there for me.

Piper: Mom, dad come on in. How was the flight?

Victor: Good, we made great time.

Mom: The place looks great, Piper. Where are the rest of my girls?

As if on cue Phoebe and Prue walk into the living room and give hugs and hello's. I am trying to hang back from the group, postponing the inevitable. Eventually it is my turn and I force myself to give Victor a hug and then greet mom.

Mom: Paige you look so different, so grown up.

Prue: You should have seen her with her uniform on, you wouldn't have recognized her at all.

Phoebe: Yeah mom, she walked up to me at the train station and had to say hello before I even knew it was her.

Paige: It's just a uniform guys, it doesn't make me look any different.

Mom: Well later this week I want to see you in it, ok?

Paige: Yeah fine, just not right now.

We all migrate into the living room and sit around catching up on things when suddenly the topic of me and Westpoint comes up.

Mom: So do you still like Westpoint sweetie?

Paige: Yep, it's a lot of hard work and I am always busy, but I have learned so much. It is everything I thought it would be.

Prue: Unlike Phoebe she has already chosen a major. Soon we will have a pilot in the family.

Phoebe: Hey! I picked a major in fact I have picked lots of majors.

Victor: Why are you going to Westpoint to become a pilot? You could do that at a flight school.

Piper: I think it's great. Mom you should see some of her homework I don't know how she does it.

Paige: It takes me forever to do it Piper and you could so do it if you wanted to.

Mom: Well I always knew how smart all of my girls are. So what is your major called?

Paige: Aviation engineering.

Victor: Sounds like a fancy name for pilot.

I ball my hands up into a fist and stand up having had enough from Victor. I send a look to Piper letting her know that I am going to tell everyone now. Piper nods her head in agreement and I sit back down and glare a Victor and a small smile crosses my face. This is finally going to be over.

Paige: Well I have one more piece of news for everyone and it is going to be a little bit shocking. I have been keeping another secret from you guys.

Victor: I knew it, you got kicked out didn't you!

Paige: No that's not it Victor, but it is nice to know that you are NOT my father. I would hope MY father would be a little bit more supportive of me.

Prue: Calm down Paige what are you talking about.

Paige: Around eight years ago I found out that Victor was not my father. Apparently my dad's name is Sam.

Victor is staring at me and I can tell his face has gone a bit pale, wondering if I am going to tell them everything.

Phoebe: Don't lie Paige! It's bad enough you keep secrets from us. We all know who your dad is.

Paige: I'm not lying and I am done keeping secrets!

I stand up to pace around the living room and look over to my mom. She is just staring at me with this shocked look on her face. Phoebe and Prue are both looking back and forth between mom and Victor waiting for some sort of confirmation that my story is true. While Piper is just glaring at Victor waiting patiently for me to continue with the rest of my story.

Mom: How...How did you know?

Prue and Phoebe: What?

Piper: Guys quiet, let Paige talk.

Paige: Victor told me when I was 10. He was mad because Phoebe hid the remote again and he thought I did it. Remember when I had to get some stitches on my forehead? Well Victor was yelling at me about how much of a good-for-nothing- burden I was and how he was so glad I wasn't his daughter. Then he pushed me down when I couldn't find the remote and my head hit the corner of the coffee table.

Victor: Why you little liar! I can't believe that you thought you could concoct this story and that they would believe you. What is the matter with you?

Paige: Listen Victor you and I both know that I am telling the truth. They can choose whether or not they believe me I don't care either way. I just don't want to keep it to myself anymore, I'm done protecting you Victor, I'm not giving you anymore leverage in my life.

Prue: Paige how could you say those things? We all know that dad would never hurt any of us. Get out of my house!

Piper: Don't you dare leave Paige, we are going to sort this out before anyone leaves. I for one would like to hear what mom and Victor have to say.

Phoebe: Why did you just call dad Victor? Do you actually believe the lies that Paige is telling?

Piper: Yes, I believe her. I can't think of one good reason for Paige to make this up.

Prue: You want a reason, how about attention. Now that her Westpoint news is no longer a big deal, she had to come up with this ridiculous story. Dad would never hurt in this family.

Paige: That's the thing Prue, I'm not part of this family, I never was.

Mom: Paige, I want you to look me in the eye and answer my question truthfully. Is your story true?

As I am standing I look down straight into my mom's blue eyes hoping that she will believe me and answer quietly, "Yes."

Mom: Has he ever hurt you since then?

Victor quickly stands up and I take somewhat of a defensive position.

Victor: Patty! I can't even believe you are even considering this. All Paige has done for the past few years is lie to us.

He then steps over to me and I tell myself, 'Don't back down, you're not backing down from him ever again.' He stares down at me and we are literally inches a part.

Piper: Victor back off, we are going to talk this out.

Victor: Stop calling me by my name, I'm your father.

He then grabs my arm and whispers harshly, "I can't believe you did this! Tell them the you're lying or you will regret it." I yank my arm out of his grasp and then push him into the wall and hold him there with my hand around his neck. My other hand was curling into a tight fist while the rest of my body was trembling from the amount of rage that had built up over the years. I looked into Victor's eyes and could tell that he was mad and scared. With clenched teeth I finally voiced what I had wanted to say for the last eight years.

Paige: Don't you ever touch me again or you will not live long enough to regret it! I'm done taking crap from you and in case you haven't noticed I'm no longer a defenseless, weak child.

Piper: Paige! Let go of him, we'll get through this. Don't do something you'll regret.

Phoebe: Let go of our dad! If he's not yours fine, but leave our dad alone.

Prue: Mom say something.

Mom: Sweetie I believe you, just let him go and we will talk about this.

I remove my hand from Victor's neck, but I never once take my eyes off the man that has taken pleasure in torturing me over the years. Victor starts coughing and Prue and Phoebe help him back to the couch. I then slowly back away and Piper comes over giving me a hug trying to get me to calm down.

Piper: Missy you have to calm down a bit. I think mom believes you and Prue and Phoebe are just in denial.

Paige: I don't think so, they seem pretty adamant that I am lying about everything.

Piper: Well then lets convince them.

Paige: How?

Piper: Tell them another instance of him abusing you.

Paige: Fine but if it doesn't work I'm leaving

Piper: Ok, let me me get everyone settled down and don't talk until I tell you.

Piper has me sit down in a chair opposite the couch.

Piper: Alright guys now that we are settled down lets talk about this reasonably. Let's get one thing straight first, mom who is Paige's biological father?

Mom: His name was Sam.

Prue: Why did you say was?

Mom: He died in a car accident right after we found out I was pregnant. Not too long after that Victor and I ended our separation and we decided to raise Paige as our daughter. Paige I'm so sorry.

Prue: How could you cheat on dad?

Mom: I didn't cheat. We were in the process of getting a divorce and were legally separated at the time.

Phoebe: Wait you two were getting a divorce, why?

Victor: We just weren't getting along very well and I was working a lot while your mom was home alone with you guys. It just wasn't working out for either of us so we decided to take a break.

Piper: Now that that detail is taken care of lets move on to the other topic at hand, did Victor abuse Paige.

Prue: How can...

Piper: How about we hear what Paige has to say, maybe she has proof.

Paige: Uh. Well I don't think there is proof aside from the scars, he always made sure you guys weren't around when it happened. Why do you think I begged you guys to not move out and then spent like no time at home once mom started working nights.

Mom: You have scars? Let me see sweetie, why didn't you ever come to me.

Victor: She could have gotten the scars from anywhere, it doesn't prove anything.

Mom: Victor, the fact that she knows about her father is proof enough that you told her, she could have never figured that out by herself. If she is telling the truth about that then I believe she is telling the truth about everything else as well. You have always treated her differently than the other girls, I just never knew it was this bad. How could you!

Victor: Patty, I swear she is making this all up.

Phoebe: Lets see the scars, Paige. Then we'll know if you are telling the truth.

Paige: Right here?

Piper: Come on missy then we can get this over with once and for all.

Mom: Come here sweetie.

I go over to my mom and she pulls me down on to her lap. I am incredibly nervous, I hate having to show my scars and everyone is staring at me waiting for proof to be shown. I bury my head in my mom's shoulder and softly tell her there are some on my back, but that I don't want to show everyone. She runs her hand through my hair asking if I would be able to show her and I nod my head.

Mom: Paige and I are going in the other room for a second, we'll be right back. Don't any of you move from your seats. Come on sweetie lets go.

I stand up and slowly head into Piper's bedroom with my mom following right behind me. After she shuts the door she has me lie down on my stomach on the bed. As she reaches for my shirt I start to silently cry and I try to control my breathing.

Mom: Sweetie it's ok I just want to look, I promise I won't hurt you. I'm going to lift up your shirt to take a quick look and then it will all be over, ok?

I nod my head and hold my breath waiting for the feeling of cold air hitting my bare back. Her hand finally reaches down to my shirt and lifts it up to see the handful of scars that are reminders of Victor's hatred of me. I hear her gasp and then I hear soft crying as she arranges my shirt back to it's proper place.

Mom: I'm so sorry Paige, I had no idea. Don't you worry he is never going to hurt you again.

I sit back up on the bed and fall into my mom's open arms and start crying. After 5 minutes we are both able to compose ourselves and we walk back into the living room. My mom's arm is wrapped around my shoulder and as soon as we enter the living room I jump as she starts yelling at Victor.

Mom: Get out! I don't ever want to see you again!

Victor: I can explain Patty.

Prue: It's true!

Mom: Yes, your father abused Paige and she has the scars on her back to prove it.

Immediately Prue stands up and gets right in Victor's face yelling at him to leave, while Phoebe and Piper walk over to where mom and I are standing.

Mom: Prue come over here.

Prue does not budge so Victor pushes her back and that's when I loose it. I can handle someone hurting me, but not my family. I rush over to Prue and help her up and then turn to Victor and punch him in the stomach. As he is trying to catch his breath I grab a hold of him and push him out the door and throw him out into the hall and shut the door. I then go grab his coat and my own and as I walk out the door leaving my stunned family behind I drop Victor's coat on his curled up body. I then hurriedly walk down several flights of stairs and rush outside into the welcoming cold air with tears streaming down my face.


	7. Chapter 7

The blackness of the night surrounds me and the cold sleet pelting against my face stings as my pace quickens to an all out sprint. I have no destination in mind and I am completely overwhelmed by so many different emotions. I feel like I have this ball of energy that I can't control and the only way to work it out safely is to run as fast as I can until I can no longer run. I can tell that my energy is slowly draining and I slow myself to a walk and realize that I am at the lake for the second time today. Listening to the sounds of the waves hitting the rocks and concrete calms me enough to sit down on a bench. I am lost in thought when all of a sudden someone taps me on the shoulder. Acting totally on instinct I grab the persons hand and bend it backwards effectively immobilizing my assailant. Then I look at the person that is bending over to try and reduce their pain and realize it is Prue. I immediately let go and apologize profusely.

Paige: Oh god Prue, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you. Are you ok? Should we go to the doctor?

Prue: Squirt slow down I'm fine, now that you have let go of my hand. Since when did you get all tough?

Paige: Basic training I guess. Wait, how did you find me? I didn't even know where I was going.

Prue: Well we saw which direction you were walking from the window and I figured you would continue straight until you hit a dead end. And wallah here you are. Also, I come to the lake when I need to think, it's eerily calming isn't it?

Paige: Yeah, it is.

I sit back down contemplating why she ran after me. I stare out at the black abyss and wait for her to start yelling at me for leaving the way I did. As she sits down next to me she throws her arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to her so that I am leaning against her body.

Prue: Are you ok, squirt?

Paige: Yeah, I just needed to burn off some energy. I don't know how to explain it, I felt like if I didn't leave I would explode.

Prue: I know what you mean, I hate that feeling.

Paige: So how is Phoebe and mom doing?

Prue: Phoebe is a mess, she is having a hard time wrapping her head around this. Mom seems to be ok, really mad, but ok.

Paige: How about you?

Prue: I'm angry and shocked. I mean I believe you, but I can't believe that dad would do that. I think Piper is doing the best out of all of us.

Paige: Well she had a head start on you guys. She got it out of me this morning, that is why she skipped work. It was amazing she believed me right off the bat, not a seconds hesitation. Then she convinced me to tell everyone else.

Prue: That's Piper. You can always count on her. I'm so sorry I didn't trust you at first.

Paige: It's ok. Can we go back now I'm freezing.

Prue: Sure but we're taking a cab.

We take a silent cab ride back to the condo and as we are walking from the elevator to Prue's door I hesitate.

Prue: What's the matter Paige?

Paige: So how mad are they? I mean should I maybe stay somewhere else, let things cool down a bit.

Prue: Silly, no one is mad at you, we're mad at dad. You are staying here no ifs ands or buts, got it?

I take a deep breath and nod my head. As Prue opens the door I can hear feet making their way to the entrance. I take off my coat and hang it up in the coat closet and a pair of arms hug me from behind.

Piper: Don't you ever go running off like that again. You scared the hell out of me.

I give Piper a smile and nod my head. The three of us walk into the living room where Phoebe has her head in mom's lap out cold. I lean against the far wall in the living room trying my hardest to be invisible, staring at my feet.

Piper: Well how does Thai takeout sound?

Mom: Sounds good to me. Why don't you two call it in and pick it up.

Prue: Ok, we'll be back in about 30 minutes.

I hear Phoebe mumble something as she rolls over in her restless sleep and I again feel awful for destroying her image of her father. I ruined everyones happy family. Silent tears start rolling down my face as I think about how I just destroyed everything that those I cared about loved. Victor was wrong, they did believe me, but it hurt them to do so. All of a sudden I feel drained of all my energy and slide down the wall so that I am sitting on the floor. I lay my head down on my arms hiding my face from the world trying not to feel so lost. Strong arms pull me into their embrace and I hear my mother's comforting words.

Mom: Paige, sweetie, it's alright. Victor is never going to hurt you again.

Paige: I'm sorry.

Mom: For what, sweetie.

Paige: For everything. For ruining this family, for hitting Victor, for making a mess of Thanksgiving.

Mom: You did not ruin this family or make a mess of Thanksgiving, Victor did. He ruined the family the second he even thought about hurting you. As for hitting Victor that was wrong and I can tell you know it is wrong, so we will just leave it at that. Was that the first time you ever hit back?

Paige: Yeah. I always figured as long as he was only going after me and leaving everyone else alone I would just deal with it. Then he pushed Prue and all bets were off. I didn't mean to hit him as hard as I did, but I guess I am stronger than I thought.

Mom: You have always been strong Paige. Promise me you will tell me everything he did to you and show me any of your scars.

Paige: Why? It is in the past. Besides it's nothing too bad.

Mom: Paige you have scars from his abuse, physical and emotional. I need to know what he did to you and make sure you're ok.

Paige: Do I have to tell you tonight and do Piper, Prue, and Phoebe need to know?

Mom: No we don't have to talk tonight, but by the end of the week I will know everything. As for your sisters that is for you to decide.

I nod my head in acceptance and relax into my mothers embrace feeling the adrenaline from tonight rush out of my body. I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of my mom and listen to her heart beat feeling completely relaxed and protected for the first time in 8 years.

Mom: Paige sweetie wake up dinner is here.

Paige: Mmm.. not hungry.

Mom: Come on sweetie Phoebe is already awake and everyone is sitting at the table waiting for us.

I slowly open my eyes and see that I am still leaning into my mom's body with her arms around me. I sit up and look over at the couch and sure enough Phoebe is no longer there. I then walk sleepily into the dining room with my mom to see everyone already seated and food distributed. I take a seat and reach for my water trying to suppress a yawn.

Piper: Jeez Paige you were out huh?

I nod my head not really awake enough to respond yet.

Prue: Yeah really, you didn't hear us come in and then try forever to wake Phoebe up.

Phoebe: Hey! I'm not that hard to wake up.

Prue: Yeah right, we practically had to scream in your ear and throw you off the couch.

I smile as my sisters seem to be back to their normal picking on each other.

Mom: Girls stop picking on Phoebe, she is just my good little sleeper.

Paige: So what time is it?

Piper: 10 PM

Prue: We probably could have left you two sleeping, but you never would have been able to sleep through the night.

Piper: And we figured you two bottomless pits needed some food.

Paige and Phoebe: Hey!

Mom: It's true since the both of you have moved out the grocery bill has been reduce by at least 75.

Phoebe: Paige and I don't eat that much.

Piper: Yeah you do. I don't know how you guys stay so thin.

Paige: Well I don't know about Pheebs, but I run at least 5 miles a day.

Phoebe: I just have a great metabolism.

The rest of dinner continued in the same manner, everyone teasing each other. By the time everything was cleaned up it was 11:30 PM and everyone was dead on their feet.

Prue: Ok, sleeping arrangements. Who wants to sleep on the couch?

Paige: I can it's where I have been the last couple of nights.

Phoebe: Can I sleep with you mom?

Mom: Sure. Which bed should we take?

I look over at Piper and Prue and I can tell both are happy to not have to sleep with Phoebe.

Piper: Take mine and I'll bunk with Prue.

Mom: Alright, now everyone to bed its been a long day.

As I lay on the couch trying to sleep I can hear whispering coming from Prue's room and Phoebe mumbling in her sleep. Eventually I fall into a fitful sleep not knowing what the next day will bring.


	8. Chapter 8

I feel a falling sensation for what seems like forever and just when my body jerks upwards I land with a thud next to the couch. I look around and notice it is still dark and that I must have rolled off the couch. I look over to the cable box and see that it is only 5 AM and I am wide awake. I can tell from the dead silence throughout the condo that everyone is still sleeping so I quietly change into my running clothes. I leave a note on my pillow letting everyone know I went for a run and head out the door. Once I am outside I notice about an inch of snow is covering the ground making everything look so clean and peaceful. I turn on my mp3 player and start running towards the lake. Once I reach the lake I run to the end of Navy Pier and can see the beginnings of the sunrise. I watch for a few minutes as the sun breaks over the cold, choppy waters of Lake Michigan before I head back to the condo.

I quietly walk back into the condo and notice that everything is still dark and quiet. I finish my work out with a series of push-ups and sit-ups and then hop in the shower to get ready for the day. By the time I head out of the bathroom I hear an alarm going off in Prue's room, then Piper swearing as she trips on her way to the door. By the time she opens the door she was in a full rant and I was trying to contain my laughter.

Piper: Always leaving her stuff all over the floor and doesn't understand why I get mad! What are you laughing at?

Paige: Nothing, just laughing.

Piper: Yeah right. Go back to bed.

I burst into laughter as Piper shuts the bathroom door. I head into the kitchen and start the coffee that Prue had setup last night. I then head back into the living room and watch 'Saved by the Bell' waiting for my family to wake up. Around 45 minutes later Piper walks into the kitchen still going on about Prue's messiness.

Paige: You still going on about how you tripped this morning.

Piper: I don't know how she doesn't kill herself walking around her room, I tripped at least 3 times. I'm done now. You want breakfast?

Paige: Yes, please.

Piper: I'll make us a cheese omlete, why don't you get us some juice. How long have you been up?

Paige: A couple of hours. You think you started your day off on the wrong foot, I fell off the couch.

Piper: Oh, that would have been funny to see. You used to fall out of bed all the time when you were younger. You and Phoebe move around so much when you sleep, its a wonder you wake up rested.

Paige: Maybe that is why we are so skinny, burning all those calories while we sleep.

Piper: Smart ass. Breakfast is ready. So have you been watching infomercials all morning?

Paige: Nope. I went running, got ready for the day, had a good laugh, and then turned on the v.

Piper: Ha-ha. Well I have to leave for work soon so you'll have to try and live without me today.

Paige: I'll try my best. Hopefully the others will wake up soon.

Piper: I heard mom getting up so she'll be out shortly. I've got to run, can you do the dishes, thanks.

After finishing the dishes I went back to channel surfing, thinking how there can be nothing on tv if you have over 100 channels.

Mom: Anything good on?

I shake my head and turn the tv off as my mom sits next to me with her coffee in hand.

Paige: Piper went to work not too long ago, she'll be back at 6 PM.

Mom: Ok. Anything you want to do today?

I yawn and shake my head. I guess I didn't get enough sleep last night.

Mom: Here sweetie put your head down on my lap and I'll play with your hair. What time did you get up today.

Paige: 5, I couldn't sleep anymore so I went for a run.

Mom: Well why don't you just close your eyes and relax.

Paige: Mom... can you tell me about...Sam?

Mom: Sure honey. What do you want to know?

Paige: Anything, was he a good man?

Mom: He was a very good man. Sam was a doctor at the hospital I was a nurse at. I met him in the cafeteria, we had seen each other a lot through out the hospital, but never introduced ourselves. Right off the bat everything clicked. We talked about everything. He would take me and your sisters to the zoo on his day off. He loved kids. He was so excited when I told him I was pregnant, he proposed to me right away and I accepted. We were so in love and he loved you so much. He would put his head down by my stomach and tell you about all the fun stuff we were going to do when you were born. We were so happy and then about five months before you were born he was in a terrible car accident and died. Paige he loved you with all his heart and so do I.

I wipe away my tears so relieved that Sam was a good man and that he loved me.

Paige: I know you love me. Thanks for telling me, Victor told me you were raped and that I was just a horrible reminder of everything.

Mom: Oh god, Paige, never. You're father was a very loving man he would never hurt a soul. We were very much in love. I'm so sorry I kept this a secret, I should have told you when you were old enough to understand. I just didn't want you to feel different from your sisters.

Paige: I know, I understand. It's ok.

Mom: It's not ok. I kept this from you and you were hurt. Victor hurt you because of my secret.

Paige: Mom, Victor hurt me for a lot of reasons not just because of this secret. So don't blame yourself for this. It is my fault too. I should have said something to you about the abuse, but I didn't.

Mom: Why didn't you say anything?

Paige: I wanted to, but he threatened to tell Prue, Piper, and Phoebe that I wasn't their real sister. That my father raped you and how I was this constant reminder of all the pain my father caused you. I knew they would hate me if they knew and I couldn't stand that so I kept quiet believing that I deserved to be punished for what my dad did to you.

Mom: I'm so sorry. Don't you worry you'll never have to see him again, I promise. I'm so sorry baby.

We were now both crying and she had shifted my body so I was sitting in her lap with my head on her shoulder. She was rubbing my back and whispering over and over how sorry she was. I wanted to tell her it was ok and not to be sorry, but I couldn't. I knew three people shared the responsibility for the abuse. Myself for not telling anyone, my mom for not telling me about my father or noticing my behavior changes toward Victor, but mainly the blame lied with Victor. He took out his anger of my mom's relationship with Sam out on me. I notice that my mom had now stopped crying and was trying to console me by rubbing my back, kissing the top of my head, and whispering, "it's ok baby, I've got you." I wipe away my tears and work on getting my breathing back under control and soon I can feel myself relax into my mother's embrace and my eyes getting heavy.

Mom: Baby, I know your tired, but I need you to tell me what Victor did to you and show me the scars now. Ok?

Paige: I...I don't want to.

Mom: I know honey, but you have to. I need to make sure you're ok.

Paige: But I am ok. It's been 5 months since he has done anything to me.

Mom: I know baby, but somethings that you thought were healed might not have healed correctly and you could get hurt worse by ignoring it. It won't hurt I promise.

I nod my head, incredibly nervous about my mom seeing all my scars and finding out the stories behind them. She scoots out from under me and I am sitting on the couch completely drained of energy and just going along with everything.

Mom: Baby, I'm going to take off your sweatshirt and then your jeans so I can see the scars alright.

She gently lifts up on the sweatshirt and then pulls my limp arms out of the sleeves. I hear a slight gasp as I try to remove my jeans, but my hands are shaking too much to undo the button. She unbuttons them for me and I remove my jeans. She then has me lie down on my back as she looks at the scars. I close my eyes tight and tears slide down my face.

Mom: Baby I promise this will be over real soon. I just need you to tell me how you got the scar when I point it out. Then we'll get you dressed and you can take a nap.

I nod my head still keeping my eyes closed tightly. She points out a small scar at my collar bone.

Mom: Did you really fall off your bike breaking your collar bone and rupturing your appendix?

Paige: N-no, he pushed me down on the driveway when I was doing chores and then kicked me in the stomach. Wh-when I didn't get up and started crying he grabbed my bike and threw it down next to me. Then he yelled for y-you.

Mom: Good job, sweetie. What about your ribs honey, one looks a little different.

Paige: He hit me in the stomach and ribs a lot...because the bruises didn't show. I th-think I broke a few.

Mom: I'm just going to touch your ribs and make sure everything is ok now. You tell me if you feel any pain.

She gently applied a little pressure when touching each of my ribs and when you got to one of the lower ones I winced a little.

Mom: Tell me about that one honey.

Paige: I think that is from soccer last week when I got tackled and accidentally kicked. It's ok the trainer took a look at it afterwards and said it was just bruised.

Mom: Any other injuries that are not related to Victor?

Paige: Just the bruises and scrapes on my legs.

Mom: Well I can defintly feel that at least a couple of your ribs were broken, but they seem to have healed on their own. How did you get the burn on your arm?

Paige: He was making grilled cheese and I spilled my milk... a-and...

Mom: It's ok baby I won't ever let him touch you I swear.

Paige: H-he rested the spatula on the pan while he yelled at me and then he picked it up and hit me with it.

Mom: Oh god, I'm so sorry baby. Are you burnt anywhere else?

Paige: M-my b-back.

Mom: Your doing so good sweetie just a little more.

She then skipped over my appendix scar and moved down towards my legs.

Mom: How about your torn ACL was it from playing soccer?

Paige: Yeah.

Mom: You are doing so good Paige, lay on your stomach and this will be over real soon.

I slowly turned over and buried my head in the sofa cushions trying to block everything out. She pointed out a burn mark on my upper back.

Mom: Is this the burn from before?

Paige: Yes.

Mom: And these scars?

Paige: He sometimes hit me with his belt.

Mom: That looks like all of your scars baby, why don't we put your pajamas back on instead of your clothes.

I slowly sat back up on the couch while she grabbed my pajamas. I was so out of it, reliving every experience, that before I knew it I was sitting on my mom's lap completely dressed. She was again trying to sooth me by rubbing my back.

Mom: Paige, I am need to ask a couple of more questions. D-did he ever rape you?

I stiffened in my mom's arms and started to cry again. I pushed my head into her shoulder trying to hide from the question. I became completely terrified when she switched to a stern voice:

Mom: Paige, you need to answer my question.

Paige: Y...yes.

Mom: How many times, baby?

Paige: A few.

Mom: You've been to an OB/GYN right?

Paige: Yeah.

Mom: What did he say?

Paige: Everything looked ok.

Mom: I'm so proud of you sweetie, you did so good.

I relaxed again in my mom's arms and silently cried for what seemed like the thousandth time this week. I hate myself for crying like this, I am not suppose to be this weak. I quickly wiped away my tears and struggled to get up, but my mom won't let me go.

Paige: Please let me up, I'm ok. I'm not a baby.

Mom: Ssh. I know you aren't a baby, but you also are not ok and neither am I. You are not a baby because you are crying about this, you are the strongest person I have ever met. What he did to you was awful and it's not healthy for you to bottle up all your emotions. So just relax and let everything out, honey. I'm not going anywhere.

I could feel my mom rubbing my back and apologizing for everything that happened to me. After a few minutes of her soothing I could no longer hold back my tears and I started sobbing while my mom tried to comfort me.


	9. Chapter 9

I hear voices whispering back and forth trying to have a conversation without waking me from my slumber. Wondering what they are talking about I keep my eyes closed and pretend to be sleeping.

Mom: Girls keep your voices down I think Paige is starting to wake up and I want her to sleep for awhile.

After hearing this I realize she must have noticed a change in me when I woke up so I mumble something incoherently and push myself into her body.

Phoebe: She mumbles a lot when she sleeps.

Prue: Not half as much as you.

Mom: I wouldn't talk Prue, you all mumble in your sleep. A trait that you inherited from your grandmother.

Prue: So what happened this morning?

Phoebe: Yeah, I mean it is only 10 AM so nothing too bad could have happened yet.

Mom: Your little sister is an earlier riser. By the time I woke up she had went running, got ready for the day, and had breakfast with Piper. Then I sat down with her and made her show me all her scars and tell me about them.

Prue: You mean she has more than the ones she showed you last night.

Mom: A lot more.

Phoebe: Are you sure they are from dad?

Mom: Very sure Phoebe. I know you love your father, but what he did to Paige is unforgivable. You should know that I am going to file for divorce as soon as possible and don't you blame Paige for any of this. I would not stand by and watch someone abuse either of you and just let it go.

Prue: How long has he been hitting her?

Mom: Since she was ten and up until the morning she moved out.

Phoebe: Why did she keep this a secret?

Mom: Victor told her we wouldn't believe her and that Sam had raped me. She didn't want you three to find out that her dad had hurt me.

Phoebe: He didn't did he?

Mom: Of course not. Sam was a very caring man and we were deeply in love.

Prue: I could kill him for doing this to her.

Mom: No one is going to do anything to Victor. Our top priority is Paige's well-being.

Phoebe: Are you going to press charges against him?

Mom: I don't think we can, sweetie. The statute of limitations might be up and both Victor and Paige had come up with excuses for her major injuries. I don't think Paige would want to testify, she could barely tell me what happened.

I hear my mom start crying and I hate the fact that I made her so sad. I can feel the presence of another person close by hugging my mom. I then hear Prue's voice, which startles me, telling her that everything is going to work out and that we will be stronger as a family after this.

Mom: Ssh. I think she's waking up. Why don't you two go finish getting ready for the day and when Paige wakes up we'll go out to lunch.

Prue: We can go to Piper's resturant and surprise her.

Phoebe: Is she going to be ok, mom?

Mom: Your little sister is so strong, I know she'll be just fine. It took a lot for her to tell us and we just need to be there for her now. Now go hop in the shower.

I listen as my sisters both walk away and I feel my mom again rubbing my back and talking quietly to herself.

Mom: My poor baby, you'll never know how sorry I am. I can't believe I never noticed anything all those years. I know he acted a little differently towards you, but I had no idea that it had gone any further than that.

I can't stand my mom beating herself up for this anymore, I need to wake up and do it convincingly. I mumble a couple of words incoherently again and then I try to turn my body away from my mom. I feel her tighten her hold on me as she tries to wake me up.

Mom: Paige baby, its time to wake up. Come on Paige open your eyes my baby girl.

I turn my body back into hers relishing the feeling of safety and then open my eyes slowly.

Mom: Hey sweetie, feeling better.

I nod my head, but don't make a move to get up.

Mom: Your sisters are up and we were thinking of going to surprise Piper at work for lunch, what do you think.

I slowly nod my head again and sink deeper into my mom's body. I don't know why I am not saying anything, but I just don't feel up to talking to anyone.

Mom: Baby are you sure you're ok? We don't have to go, we could stay here all day if you want.

The idea of staying like this for the rest of the day is very appealing, but I know if I do my family will become even more worried about me. I try to make a move to get up, but my mom is still holding me close to her. I look up at her and she gives me a small smile.

Mom: I need to her your voice, sweetie.

I push myself back into her body and whisper, "Let's go surprise Piper."

Mom: Ok go wash your face and then get changed and we'll go.

I look down at my clothes and notice that I am in my pajamas. I thought I was wearing jeans and my Westpoint sweatshirt.

Paige: Why am I in my pajamas?

Mom: You were so tired when we were talking that I knew you would fall asleep so I put on your pjs instead of your clothes.

Paige: Oh, sorry I was so out of it earlier.

Mom: It's ok baby, I understand and it is nothing to be sorry about. Now you better run in the bathroom before Phoebe figures out Prue just got out.

She's right, if Phoebe gets in there before me I could be waiting hours just to wash my face. I quickly get up, run in the bathroom, and shut the door just in time to hear Phoebe yelling at me.

Paige: I'll be out in five minutes Pheebs, hold your horses.

After washing up I open the door to see Phoebe waiting impatiently. As I walk out she rushes in and shuts the door without saying a word. I guess she feels awkward around me, I wonder if mom told them anything before I woke up. Well if she doesn't want to talk that is fine with me because I don't either. I find the clothes I was wearing earlier and quickly change and then sit on the couch waiting for everyone else. I can hear Prue and my mom talking about going back to the hotel to get mom's stuff. I must have been lost in thought again because all of a sudden Prue plops down next to me, startling me.

Prue: Sorry squirt, I thought you saw me.

Paige: It's ok.

Prue: You ok, you seem kind of spacey.

I nod my head and then stand up to get some water. By the time I walk back into the living room everyone is ready to go and waiting for me.

Prue: Ready squirt.

Paige: Yep.


	10. Chapter 10

As we quietly make our way to the EL I notice that my mom is wearing the same thing she wore last night.

Paige: How are we going to get your stuff out of the hotel room?

Mom: We aren't. Prue and I are going to stop by after lunch while you and Phoebe go shopping.

Paige: No way, I'm coming with. He'll hurt you guys.

Mom: Which is why we are going to ask the hotel security to come up with us.

Phoebe: Can I come with?

Mom: No. I don't want to hear any arguing out of either of you about this. Prue and I are going to get my stuff and leave, we aren't looking for a confrontation. Were only going to be ten minutes so you might as well have fun doing something than sitting in the hotel lobby.

Phoebe: But..

Prue: Pheebs drop it, you aren't going to win this.

Phoebe: Fine, but its not fair.

I silently agree with Phoebe, but keep my mouth shut knowing that anything I say is not going to be taken into consideration. Prue lets us know that this is our stop and we all head out of the subway and walk the two blocks to Piper's busy resturant. Prue talks to the hostess and we are seated right away next to a window. The waitress comes over and apparently knows Prue and strikes up a conversation with my family. I smile politely and then stare out the window at the people hustling around the city. I feel someone grab my hand underneath the table and give it a squeeze. I look up and see that it is Prue. I give her a smile and trie to focus on the conversation at our table. A few minutes later our drinks come out and we order our food.

Mom: So Phoebe how has school been?

Phoebe: Good. I am really liking my Psych courses and think I'll go for my masters in Psych.

Prue: Wow, you are actually sticking with it.

Phoebe: Yep, its interesting the way the mind works and I'm actually good at the course work.

Mom: I'm happy for you. Are you going to stay out East or are you coming back to San Fransisco?

Phoebe: I don't know yet. I actually wanted to stop by De Paul University while I was here to see what it looked like.

Prue: Not a problem. It's on the north side, like a 15 minute ride.

Mom: Then I'll have three of my girls in Chicago, maybe I'll have to move out here as well.

Paige: I'll be right back. Prue, where is the bathroom?

She points me in the right direction and I make my way towards the back of the resturant. Just as I am reaching for the door I hear Piper call my name. I turn around and see her coming out of the kitchen and walking towards the dining room.

Piper: I heard you guys were here. I was going to come out after your food was served, but another table wanted to speak to me.

Paige: Hey

I look back towards the bathroom door and walk in with Piper not far behind me. I turn on the water to wash my hands and I see Piper standing behind me in the mirror. I just want to get away for a few minutes, but it doesn't look like that will be happening right now.

Piper: Are you ok?

Paige: I wish everyone would stop asking me that. I'm fine.

Piper: Well you don't look fine. You look real spacey even the waitress noticed when she told me you guys were here.

Paige: I just have a lot on my mind. Sorry I jumped down your throat.

Piper: Don't worry about it. So where are you guys sitting?

Paige: By the front window. I better get back or they'll send someone looking for me.

Piper: Alright, I'll see you in a few minutes.

I walk back to the table where the conversation has turned to Prue's work and how she did a photo shoot of 'Batman Begins' when it was shooting here.

Phoebe: Your job is so cool. You get to meet all these famous people.

Prue: I didn't meet anyone that time just took a bunch of pictures.

Mom: Still it had to be exciting. When we get back I want to see some of your pictures.

Prue: Sure, I have a whole book of the ones I like.

Mom: Looks like our food is here.

Paige: I ran into Piper and she said she would come out and see us in a few minutes.

Mom: Oh good.

We each quietly eat our delicious meals until Piper comes over to see how we are doing.

Piper: Hey guys, I'm glad you came. How's the food?

Phoebe: Really good.

Mom: This place is amazing Piper. It's so crowded, the food is great, and everyone seems really nice.

Piper: I love it. This is the best resturant I have worked at so far. So what are you guys doing today?

Prue: Well mom and I are going over to the hotel to pick up her stuff and Phoebe and Paige are going shopping.

Piper: Well you two be careful. So which stores are you going to send them to.

Prue: I figured they could walk a couple of blocks to the Mag Mile and then meet us back at home.

Piper: You guys are going to love it.

Phoebe: How could you not love shopping.

We all laugh at Phoebe and her obsession with shopping, then Piper headsback to work. I spend the rest of lunch not really eating, but pushing around my food worrying about when mom and Prue would go to the hotel.

Mom: Paige aren't you hungry?

Paige: Not really.

Phoebe: Come on Paige its really good and it will give you lots of energy to go shopping.

Paige: I know I'm just not hungry.

Prue: We'll get it wrapped up so you can take it home and eat it later.

Mom: You want to go back to Prue's?

Paige: No, I'll go shopping with Phoebe.

Mom: Ok, but I want you guys back at Prue's in two hours.

Phoebe: Only two hours but there are so many stores.

Prue: Phoebe you just went shopping over the weekend. Besides Paige doesn't like to shop and she has been a good sport about shopping all weekend.

Phoebe: Fine, but I'm coming back later in the week.

Mom: Alright girls lets go, I'll take your food Paige since we will be heading home shortly.

Paige: Ok. Be careful he is really mad. You're taking security with you right?

Mom: I promise Paige we will not go up to the room without security. Now go have fun with Phoebe.

We split up and I follow Phoebe around the stores without saying a word. After two stores she pulls me aside to talk.

Phoebe: You need to talk to me. I'm really worried about you, you're so distant.

Paige: Sorry, just nervous about mom and Prue.

Phoebe: They are going to be fine, besides you said he would never hurt us.

Paige: Well that was when he thought you would never believe me.

Phoebe: They are taking security with them just in case. They will be fine.

Paige: Are you mad at me?

Phoebe: A little, you should have told me.

Paige: You barely believed me last night I don't think you would have believed me eight years ago when I didn't have scars.

Phoebe: But I might have and I could have helped you.

Paige: I wasn't going to risk you hating me once Victor told you that mom was raped by my dad and that I was a constant reminder of her pain.

Phoebe: I could never hate you Paige. You piss me off a lot, but you're my sister and thats what we do best.

Paige: half-sister

Phoebe: No, were sisters and always will be. I'm sorry I doubted you at first, I was just shocked and the easiest thing to believe was that you were lying.

Paige: Don't worry about it, I kept it a secret a lot longer than you doubted me so we're even.

Phoebe: Lets go home.

Paige: No more shopping?

Phoebe: No more money. I'll have to get mom to come shopping with me.

I laugh and we make our way to the subway and head back to the condo. To my relief when we open the door I hear mom and Prue talking as they are looking through Prue's Pro folio. Phoebe sits down next to mom and I sit on the chair next to the couch.

Mom: So how was shopping?

Phoebe: Looked around, but I didn't see anything.

Mom: How about we go looking some more tomorrow.

I look at the floor smiling thinking about how my sister just tricked my mom into taking her shopping. Mom was too nice for her own good some times.

Mom: How about you Paige, find anything?

Phoebe: She didn't even look, just followed me around. Paige is the worst shopper ever.

Prue: I thought Piper was the worst shopper.

Phoebe: Well she just got bumped up a notch.

Paige: Hey! I'm not that bad. I just wasn't in a shopping mood.

Prue: Yeah, we have been dragging Paige shopping all weekend I'm sure she is just shopped out.

Mom: When you are in a shopping mood baby just let me know and we'll go.

Paige: So did you get your stuff.

Mom: Yes, he wasn't even there and the front desk said he requested to check out early, so he'll be out of town soon.

Phoebe: What did I tell ya, nothing to worry about.

Prue: Piper is going to be home in an hour, how about we cook dinner for her.

Mom: How about you three watch a movie and I make dinner for all my girls just like I used to.

Prue: Sure you don't need help?

Mom: I think I can manage.

Unfortunately for us Phoebe has brought her very own copy of 'Kill it Before it Dies' so we are forced to watch it. I grab another novel that I am suppose to read before the end of the semester and basically space out staring at the first page, while Prue flips through a magazine. An hour and a half later the movie is ending and Piper walks in the door.

Piper: Work was crazy after you left. I was just able to sneak out before the dinner rush.

Mom: Dinner is ready guys.

Piper: Thanks mom, now I don't have to cook.

Mom: My pleasure. Phoebe turn off the movie and get to the table.

Phoebe: There's only five minutes left mom.

Mom: I don't care, you have seen that a million times, you know the ending.

Phoebe: Fine.

Prue: Looks great.

Paige: Smells good too.

Phoebe: Yes, another good meal.

Prue: If you come to grad school out here you could get plenty of good meals Pheebs.

Phoebe: I know, but I have to get in first.

Piper: Your going to grad school?

Mom: She announce intentions at lunch today.

Phoebe: Maybe De Paul University.

Piper: That is so close to here, you totally have to do it.

Phoebe: We'll see.

The conversation dies down as everyone begins to eat. I don't know what my problem is but I'm not hungry again so I move the food around so it looks like I'm eating. I really hope they don't notice because I really don't want to talk about it. I know they are just worried about me and trying to help, but I just want to be left alone. All of a sudden I can feel a pair of eyes on me so I grab a fork full of food and eat it. I continue to force myself to eat until there is nothing left on my plate, which isn't proving to be a smart idea because now I feel sick. My brutally honest sister interrupts my thoughts.

Phoebe: Jeez Paige I didn't think it was possible for you to get paler.

Paige: Huh?

Prue: Are you feeling ok, cause you don't look so hot.

Paige: Thanks.

Mom: Sweetie come here let me feel your head.

I go over to my mom and she feels my head for a moment and says that I don't have a temperature.

Mom: Are you feeling ok.

Paige: Just not hungry.

Piper: Well you ate all your dinner.

Paige: I know. I figured I should since I skipped lunch.

Piper: You didn't skip lunch, in fact I made it for you.

Phoebe: Yeah your bottomless pit just pushed around her food.

Prue: It's in the refrigerator, she wasn't hungry at the resturant.

They continue to talk about my eating habits as I turn away from the table and head towards the bathroom. My mom sees me walking away and follows me into the bathroom just in time to see me get sick. She shuts the door and holds my hair back while I am in painful dry heaves. When I'm done I sit back against the wall and she helps me clean up and hands me a cup of water.

Mom: Feel better?

Paige: Yeah, I do actually. Guess I shouldn't eat when I'm not hungry. Thanks.

Mom: Do have any other symptoms of being sick?

Paige: Just feel really out of it today.

Mom: Well you have had a rough day. I'm sure some sleep will make you feel better. Are you tired?

Paige: No.

Mom: Lets go get ready for bed and watch movies with your sisters.

I nod my head and mom helps me up. I leave the bathroom and come back with my toiletries and pajamas. By the time I go back in the living room no one is around so I sit on the couch and wait for them. Eventually Phoebe comes in the living room.

Phoebe: You're still really pale.

Paige: Thanks for letting me know.

Phoebe: Mom is waiting in Piper's room since she has a king size bed.

Paige: Five people can not lay on a king size bed.

Phoebe: I know that silly. Prue, Piper, and I are going to a club so we won't be joining you for a movie.

Paige: Oh.

Phoebe: We figured since your sick we might as well go since your already stuck here.

Paige: That's fine. Have fun.

Prue: We will. Get some rest.

Piper: Yeah I bought enough food for two bottomless pits not just one.

Paige: Ok.

I walk into Piper's room and my mom is waiting for me on the bed.

Mom: How does 'Christmas Story' sound?

I climb up on the bed next to her and snuggle into her body and whisper, "good." She hits play on the remote and starts playing with my hair.


	11. Chapter 11

I wake up to the sound of three very drunk people walking through the condo. I sit up looking around for the alarm clock and see that it is only 1 AM, I guess I was tired. I quietly get out of bed to get a drink of water and see if my sisters need any help getting to bed. As I walk into the living room area I see them sitting on the couch giggling and talking loudly. They don't seem to notice me so I continue to the kitchen and get a glass of water. I try to sneak back into the bedroom with my water but Prue spots me.

Prue: Squirt! How are ya feelin'?

Paige: Ssh. You're going to wake up mom.

Piper: Come sit with us Paigey, we want to talk.

Paige: Alright, just lower your voices.

Phoebe: Don't be so bossy! This is Prue's and Piper's place.

Paige: I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning.

Piper: Don't leave we want to talk with you.

Paige: Fine, just keep your voices down.

Phoebe: So when are you going to show us your scars?

I was totally blown away by the question. I figured they were going to go on and on about guys they met at the club.

Paige: Later.

Prue: Come on Paige we have been all supportive and we just want to help you.

Paige: I know and I promise that I will show you later, but not now while the three of you are drunk.

Piper: We need to know what he did to you Missy Paige! We have to protect you.

Paige: I understand but it's late, I'm not feeling very good, and I want to go back to sleep. I promise in the morning when you are all sober I will show you. Now go to bed.

Prue: Fine, but don't think we're going to forget.

As I walk back towards Piper's room I hear my three sisters stumble into Prue's room. As their door is closing I hear Piper swearing as she trips yet again in Prue's room. When I open the door I am surprised to see the light on and my mom sitting up wide awake.

Mom: So are they safe in bed?

Paige: Yeah, they are really drunk.

Mom: I could tell. I heard what you said, are you're ready for that?

I lay down on the bed and stare up at the ceiling knowing that I am not.

Paige: I promised and they deserve to know.

Mom: Paige they'll understand if you don't want to show them right now.

Paige: I can't back out. They took my word over his with no proof, they earned the right to see. C-can you be there when I show them.

Mom: Of course. After breakfast we'll show them and I'll help you explain everything. Speaking of breakfast how are you feeling?

Paige: Same as before. (Yawn)...Goodnight.

Mom: Goodnight, baby.

I roll over on to my stomach and look at my mom before closing my eyes and falling to sleep.

The next morning I awake feeling the sun on my face. I look at the alarm clock and see that it is 7 AM. I roll over and see that my mom is already awake and reading a book. She looks down at me gives me a smile.

Mom: You slept in pretty late, I figured you'd be up around 5 or so.

Paige: Guess I was more tired than I thought.

Mom: Why don't you hop in the shower and I'll start breakfast.

I nod my head remembering what I promised my sisters and make my way to the bathroom. I get ready for the day and dress in sweats knowing that it will be easier to undress later when I have to show them my scars. As I head towards the kitchen I can smell bacon and hear my sisters starting to wake up. I enter the kitchen and see my mom making enough food for an army.

Mom: Paige can you get juice for everyone. I just woke up your sisters, they should be out shortly.

Paige: Yeah, I heard them getting up. So what are you making?

Mom: Scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. How is your stomach today?

Paige: It feels fine, I'm just not hungry.

Mom: Well I want you to at least have a couple pieces of toast. Don't force yourself to eat too much, we don't want a repeat of last night.

Paige: Whats wrong with me?

Mom: I don't know sweetie, but we'll figure it out. If your not better by Friday I'm taking you to the doctor.

Paige: I hate going to the doctor.

Mom: I know that is why we are waiting awhile before we go. Now sit down at the table.

I sit down at the table and a few minutes later my very tired looking sisters join me

Paige: So how was the club.

Piper: Good...(yawn) We had a lot of fun.

Phoebe: Yeah, I can't wait until you are old enough to come with us. Maybe we could sneak you in or get you a fake id.

Mom: Don't you dare, Paige will go when she is old enough. Now eat up.

Piper: I could get used to not cooking every meal.

Prue: So what did you guys do last night?

Paige: Watched about thirty minutes of a movie before I fell asleep.

Phoebe: Certainly are sleeping a lot Paige, I never thought I'd see the day when you needed more than five hours a night.

Piper: Maybe our night owl is finally becoming normal.

Prue: Or maybe it is because she was sick last night. How you feeling today?

Paige: Good, so what are we doing today?

Mom: I wanted to see the Art Museum while I was in town, and then maybe I could take you girls shopping.

Phoebe: I'm up for the shopping part.

Piper: The museum doesn't open until noon today and it isn't too far from a lot of stores.

Prue: We could grab lunch at the museum, they have a pretty good restaurant there.

Mom: Sounds like we have plenty of time to kill before we leave. Paige why don't you go get the movie we were going to watch last night and set it up in the living room. The rest of you girls can help me clean up this mess.

I know my mom is talking to them about what I promised last night so I purposely take my time, stopping to brush my teeth before I grab the movie. By the time I get in the living room they are all sitting around waiting for me. My mom motions for me to come to her so I put the DVD down on the coffee table sit next to her on the couch.

Mom: Do you still want to show them Paige, because you don't have to today.

Paige: No, I want to get it over with.

Mom: How about we do it the same as yesterday, but I'll explain everything to them.

Paige: Ok.

I look over at my sisters and can see that they are nervous, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I quickly undress so I am only wearing my sports bra and shorts. My mom has me lie down on the couch and gives my hand a supportive squeeze. I close my eyes tight trying to shut out everything going on around me. I feel my mom pointing out the scars and explaining the stories behind them and then I feel her hand caress my cheek.

Mom: Sweetie, turn over on your stomach. It's almost over.

Keeping my eyes shut I turn over and bury my face in the cushions. I can hear quiet crying from all three of my sisters and my mom asking for someone to hand her my sweatshirt.

Mom: We're all done baby-girl, sit up and we'll put your shirt back on.

This is the moment I have been dreading, what are they going to think of me now. I slowly sit up and mom helps me put my shirt back on and then sits me on her lap. I lean into her and take a deep, shaky breath trying to force myself to relax. I look over at my sisters and they are now sitting on the chairs across the room. Prue is holding a sobbing Phoebe and Piper is sitting alone with tears streaming down her face. As soon as my sisters calm down a little bit I feel the arms around me tighten and my mom continues.

Mom: Girls there is one last thing.

I bury my head into my mom's body knowing that she is going to tell them that their father raped me. This is one thing I was planning on not telling them.

Mom: Victor he.. uh.. he raped Paige.

I hear a Piper gasp in shock and then Phoebe burst into tears again. I look up and see that Prue is trying to squirm out from under Phoebe.

Mom: Prue, what are you doing?

Prue: I need to get up I can't just sit here. I-I need to do something.

Mom: Prue you aren't going anywhere and Phoebe needs you right now. Piper, how you doing?

I look over to Piper and see that she is trying unsuccessfully to hold back her tears. I can sense that my mom wants to go and comfort my sisters so I try squirm out of her lap.

Mom: Ssh. baby sit still. Come here Piper.

Piper comes over to the couch and sits next to us and my mom pulls her into a hug. At this Piper completely breaks down and is sobbing into my mom's shoulder. I feel very awkward knowing that they are so upset for everything that I had been through. I again try to squirm out of my mom's lap.

Mom: Paige whats the matter?

Paige: I need to go for a walk or something. I can't sit here right now.

Prue: I'll go with you and mom you can take Phoebe.

Mom: Alright. Come back before eleven and dress warmly.

Prue: Ok. Lets go squirt.

I climb off my mom's lap and Prue guides Phoebe over to the spot I vacated. I grab my sweat pants and quickly throw them on and then walk out the door putting on my coat. As we exit the building we walk silently towards the lake. I can feel Prue looking over at me several times during our walk and I wonder what she must think of me now. After thirty minutes of silently walking I turn to Prue

Paige: Why do you keep looking at me like that?

Prue: Like what?

Paige: Like something is wrong with me. I'm the same person I was before you found out, nothing has changed. I knew you guys would act totally weird if you found out.

Prue: Paige your my baby sister and I just found out that my father is a complete monster. I think I'm allowed to be slightly over-protective right now.

Paige: Yeah well I don't have to like it. I just want it to go back to normal.

Prue: Give us time squirt. We better head back.


	12. Chapter 12

We silently walk back towards the condo each of us lost in thought. As we near the building I hear someone yell Prue's name. At first I don't recognize the voice but when he shouts again I know Victor is close by. I look in the direction of the voice and see that he is standing right outside the entrance to Prue's building, effectively blocking our path. I turn to Prue and see anger swimming in her eyes, she looks ready to kill.

Paige: Prue calm down don't do anything stupid.

Prue: Stay here Paige.

Paige: I don't think so. Prue lets just go upstairs, ignore him. If he doesn't go away we'll just call the cops.

Prue: Stay here!

I can't remember a time when I have ever heard Prue use such a stern voice and I immediately stop following her towards the building. She walks over to Victor and I can hear every word of their heated argument.

Prue: You bastard! How dare you show up here.

Victor: Prue, I don't know what she has told you, but she clearly has some issues. I would never hurt anyone of my girls.

Prue: Well she certainly has a lot of scars for never being hurt by you.

Victor: She has been lying to us for years about her college plans, her last two years of high school she never came home until after midnight. The scars could have came from anywhere, she was out of control all through high school. I love my girls, I would never hurt you.

Prue: I don't care what you say Victor I know Paige is telling the truth. The only reason she did any of those thing in high school was to avoid being around you. How could you do those thing to her, to anyone? And your excuse is because you aren't her biological father. I'm ashamed to be your daughter.

Victor: Prue you don't know what you are talking about, her father was horrible man that brought nothing but pain to our family.

Prue: Save it. Mom already told us how great a man Sam was. Now leave! I don't ever want to see you near any of family, got it!

Victor: I'm not going anywhere until I see my daughters.

Prue: Victor if you don't leave I will call the cops and...

I see Victor glance over in my direction, he must have just noticed that I had been standing here the whole time. He briskly walks away from Prue, in mid-argument, and towards me. As he gets closer I can feel all the anger from the years of abuse bubbling to the surface and it scares me. I change my stance to a defensive position ready for a fight, when I see that his hands are curled into fists at his side. When he reaches me he quickly swings his fist at my face and I duck to avoid the blow.

Victor: You ruined my family!

He tries again and this time I let his punch hit my cheek bone. I quickly counter with a right-hook and I feel his nose break as my fist makes contact. He is now off-balance with blood streaming out of his nose and as he tries to punch me in the stomach I quickly grab his hand and twist it behind his back. I then kick his legs out from under him and he falls hard on to his stomach. I maintain my hold on his arm as I shift my weight pressing his body hard into the sidewalk. I bend over land look into his eyes and I see the fear behind them.

Paige: You come near me or my family ever again and this will seem like a picnic. Consider this your last warning. I'm not a scared child and I am no longer someone you can push around. I have the upper hand now so don't push me.

Victor: I'm going to kill you, if it is the last thing I do.

Paige: Victor if you try to kill me it will be the last thing you do.

Prue: Paige, the police are on the way.

Paige: Fine. Guess what Victor? There are two security cameras outside of Prue's building and about a handful of witnesses that saw you hit me before I struck back in self defense. I think that is what they call assault and battery, and I will be pressing charges.

Prue: Are you ok, Paige?

Paige: I'm fine.

I hear the sirens get closer and finally the police arrive. The police question me and several others about the assault and eventually handcuff Victor. I quickly fill out all the forms required to press charges and make my way back over to Prue, who has tears running down her face.

Paige: You ok?

Prue: No, my dad just attacked you. He hit you.

Paige: I let him.

Prue: What? Why would you do that?

Paige: The only way they would arrest him was if he actually hit me.

Prue: You're too smart for your own good sometimes, he could have really hurt you.

Paige: We better get upstairs.

I walk in and see that Piper, Phoebe, and mom are sitting on the couch watching tv. Prue and I quietly sit down in the chairs and start watching as well when mom turns off the tv.

Mom: Where have you two been, your an hour late. I specifically told you to get back her by eleven.

Prue: Ran into Victor on the way back.

Mom: What happened?

Prue: He wanted to come up and tell us how Paige imagined everything..

Mom: Where is he now?

Paige: Jail.

Phoebe: What?

Prue: He was waiting outside the building for us and I started yelling at him to leave. We were arguing back and forth and then he saw Paige and attacked her.

Piper: You ok, missy?

Paige: I'm good.

Mom: What did he do to you?

Paige: Just ran up to me yelling and then tried to punch me. I ducked the first punch, I let his second punch hit me, and then I took him down.

Phoebe: You let him hit you, are you stupid!

Prue: Actually Pheebs it was smart, that is what got him arrested. Paige pressed charges.

Mom: Where did he hit you?

I turn to look at them and point to my bruised left cheek bone.

Piper: I'll get some ice.

Paige: I'm fine, no ice needed.

Piper: Your cheek is all bruised, you need some ice.

Paige: Its been over an hour since it happened I doubt it will get any worse. So are we going to the museum?

Phoebe: Don't change the subject. I'm getting you some ice and your going to use it.

Paige: Can you put it in a glass and then add some water, I promise I'll use it then.

Piper: You know what she means and don't fight us on this.

Paige: Listen, it's not a big deal. It doesn't hurt and I've had worse so just let it go.

Phoebe: Not a big deal! I can't believe you just said that. He attacked you!

Paige: I'm not stupid Phoebe, I know he attacked me, but he didn't hurt me, ok!

Piper: Paige your face is all black and blue it has to hurt.

Paige: It looks worse than it is I swear.

Mom: Girls stop arguing with each other. I'm going into the bedroom to make a few calls, no fighting while I'm gone.

I look up and see Phoebe walking into the room with a glass of ice-water and an icepack in her hands. I roll my eyes and Prue gives me a dirty look and mouths, 'just do it.' I look back at Phoebe and she is now sitting on the couch, with Piper, still holding the icepack and water. I really hate this, they are treating me so different. I just want things to go back to the way they were.

Phoebe: Come on over Paigey.

Paige: Why?

Piper: Come on Paige we're just trying to help.

Paige: Guys its really fine.

Prue: Look Paige just do it, it will make us feel better.

I let out a sigh and walk over to Phoebe and hold out my hand waiting for her to give me the icepack. She grabs my hand and pulls me on to the couch in between her and Piper and then puts a pillow on her lap.

Phoebe: Lay down Paigey.

Paige: Oh come on. I agreed to use the icepack isn't that good enough.

Piper: Just lie down Paige and we'll watch some tv.

Knowing that I am not going to get out of this I reluctantly lay down hugging my knees to my chest so Piper has enough room to sit. As Prue flips through the channels Piper grabs my legs and stretches them out over her lap. I flinch slightly when Phoebe presses the icepack against my cheek and she quickly lifts it back up.

Phoebe: Oh god, did I hurt you?

Paige: No, it's just cold.

Prue: Paige, ice tends to be cold.

I roll my eyes and Phoebe places the icepack back on my cheek and runs her hand through my hair. I am so uncomfortable laying down with my sisters like this. Its just so not normal, we haven't gotten along the last few years and I haven't even lived with Piper or Prue in over 6 years. This along with everything else is starting to wear on me and I start to feel tired once again.

Piper: Paige relax, your so tense.

Paige: I'm lying down how much more relaxed can I get.

Phoebe: Paige just close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths.

I do what Phoebe says and I can feel my muscles loosening little by little.

Phoebe: Thats it Paigey keep doing that.

I keep my eyes closed and concentrate on my breathing, listening to some Meg Ryan movie Prue has picked out.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hey guys thanks for reading my story. I know it seems like it is going no where at the moment but hopefully this chapter helps kick the pace back up. Just so you know I don't intend to bring magic into the story. Also if you have any ideas or direction you would like this story to head just let me know through a review and I'll try to build it in to the story. Thanks again for reading an reviewing I wouldn't have continued with out your support.

Being as quiet as possible I listen for anyone entering the room. Unfortunately the sound of my heart racing and my breathing is so loud in my head that it is hard to hear anything else. I suddenly hear footsteps getting closer to me and I cover my mouth to try and muffle the sound of my breathing. I can hear the footsteps getting closer and I close my eyes willing the occupant of the room to leave. The footsteps stop close by and all of a sudden I am grabbed by both shoulders and as I am lifted off my feet I let out a scream.

Phoebe: Paige wake up. Your just dreaming. Come on wake up.

I awake very suddenly with a loud gasp, as if I had been holding holding my breath for a while. I quickly get to my feet and start walking around telling myself, "its all a dream your fine." I look around my surroundings and see that Phoebe is looking up at me cautiously from the couch.

Paige: Sorry about that.

Phoebe: Bad dream?

Paige: Sort of, more like a memory.

Phoebe: What about?

Paige: Where is everyone?

Phoebe: They went to the grocery store. So what was your dream about?

Paige: Nothing.

Phoebe: You were moving an awful lot for a dream about nothing.

Paige: I'm sorry it bothered you, it won't happen again.

Phoebe: You know that is not what I meant. You need to talk about this.

Paige: I'm fine Phoebe.

Phoebe: No your not. You haven't eaten anything in like two days, your sleeping all the time, you were just attacked by dad, and your body is shaking.

Paige: I just have a bug or something and getting attacked by your dad is not anything new so it doesn't bother me.

Phoebe: You aren't sick and you know it.

Paige: Listen Phoebe I don't feel well and I don't want to fight so just leave me alone.

Phoebe: I'm just trying to help. You need to talk to someone it's not healthy to keep everything bottled up.

Paige: I appreciate that you are trying to help me but I am really fine.

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door effectively ending the conversation. I look down at my hands and see that they are shaking. I quickly turn on the water and splash some on my face. As I look up at myself in the mirror I try and give myself a pep-talk, "Come on Paige pull yourself together, what is your problem." I hear the front door open as my mom and sisters walk into the condo.

Prue: Where's Paige?

Phoebe: In the bathroom.

Mom: Is she sick again?

Phoebe: I don't think so. She had a bad dream and wouldn't talk about it so she went in the bathroom. That was like ten minutes ago.

Piper: She didn't say what the dream was about?

Phoebe: She said it was a memory not a dream.

Mom: Girls put everything away and I'll go check on Paige.

I quickly splash some more water on my face and as I grab for a towel my mom knocks on the door, asking to come in. I shake my hands violently trying to make them steady. I take a deep breath and open the door letting my mom come in.

Mom: How are you feeling?

Paige: Good.

Mom: Want to talk about anything.

Paige: Not really.

Mom: Well why don't you come out and join the rest of us. We brought back a pizza so dinner is ready. Then Piper and I are going to make a pecan pie for tomorrow and we might get started on some of the other dishes as well.

Paige: I'm not hungry.

Mom: I need you to tell me if your not hungry because you are sick or if it is something else.

Paige: I don't know, I'm just not hungry.

Mom: Stay here I'll be right back.

I sit down on the edge of the tub as my mom leaves the room. I look down at my hands and see that they are still shaking. What is my problem, I have never been like this. I don't feel sick, I just feel really out of it and I want to be left alone. I suddenly feel another presence in the small room and jump in surprise.

Mom: Just me Paige. Open your mouth so I can take your temperature.

I open my mouth and she slips the thermometer under my tongue and I close my mouth. She sits down on the toilet next to me and starts rubbing my back waiting for the electronic beep of the thermometer.

Mom: Are you cold?

I shake my head, no, as the thermometer starts beeping. She quickly removes it and checks the readout.

Mom: Your temp is normal so why are you shaking? Was it your dream.

Paige: I don't know. I came in here after Phoebe kept pestering me about my dream and my hands were shaking.

Mom: Let's go in Piper's room for a few minutes so you can tell me about the dream.

My mom stands up and grabs my hand and drags to Piper's bed. I sit down on the side of the bed and look down at my slightly shaking hands. My mom puts both of her hands over mine and I look up into her concerned eyes.

Mom: So what was your dream about. And don't say nothing, it obviously freaked you out.

Paige: I was hiding from Victor in Prue and Piper's room. He found me and then I woke up.

Mom: Was it a dream or was it a memory?

I look back down at our hands and whisper, "memory."

Mom: Can you tell me about it.

Paige: I was ten. I left my backpack by the door and he tripped over it. He started yelling at me so I hid in Piper and Prue's room. He uh found me and he hit me. Then you guys came back from shopping so he threw me on my bed.

Mom: Where did he hit you?

Paige: Just the back of my head stomach.

I look at my mom and she has tears in her eyes so I try to make light of the situation.

Paige: Hey it wasn't too bad, you never had to worry about me leaving my backpack down by the front door again.

She pulls me into a hug, "Now I know why your a clean freak like Piper. You seem to have relaxed a bit so let's get some pizza before Phoebe eats it all." I stand up and we head into the living room to grab some pizza and watch videos. I don't eat a whole lot but no one says anything and the night goes by smoothly.

I wake up on the couch and for the first time in days I feel completely refreshed. I look at the clock and see that it is only 5 am so I change into my running clothes and write a note telling my family that I am going running. The cool, crisp air wakes me up completely as I start my run. I immediately head towards the lake running my favorite route. I watch the sun rise and then head back to the condo. As I reach for the lobby door I feel a sharp pain in my back like something had stung me. I turn around and see Victor a few feet behind me holding a small .22. I touch the sharp pain on my back and look at the blood on my hand.

Paige: You ...you shot me.

Victor: I told you I'd kill you for ruining my family.

I can see the fury behind his eyes and know that no amount of talking is going to get me out of this so I do the only thing I can think of, I tackle him. He is so surprised by my sudden action that he is completely defenseless. I drive him into the concrete and the gun goes skittering across the sidewalk. He quickly recovers and hits me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me, and tries to get the gun. I jump on him before he can reach the gun and start hitting his face over and over again, letting loose years of rage. I hear someone shouting, "put your hands up," and I look over and see that the police are shouting at me so I back away from Victor with my hands up. I back up until I am against the building and I slid down the wall so I am sitting. I watch the police and they are still shouting so I put my hands up higher until I look over to Victor. He is staring at me with his arm raise aiming the gun at me. Time seems to slow down and I realize I am going to die when he cocks the gun. There is shouting all around me and all of a sudden I hear two very loud pops and see Victor fall backwards. As he is falling his gun goes off and the brick just above my head explodes. I protectively throw my hands over my head and close my eyes as the debris from the building lands on me. I hear the commotion of people around me trying to take cover and the police calling for an ambulance and back up. I slowly look up from my position and see Victor lying on the sidewalk ten feet in front of me not moving. I know that he is dead and I start crying in relief and in sadness for my family's loss.

Policeman: Ma'am are you hurt?

I look up at the policeman and then back to my bloody hands. I nod my head and then reach for my back and gasp in pain. The pain that I had been blocking out hits me hard and I feel like can't breathe. The officer quickly lays me down on the sidewalk and turns me over to look at my back.

Policeman: Ma'am don't move, you've been shot in the back. The ambulance is on the way just relax. Whats your name?

Paige: Pai-Paige Halliwell. My...my family...

I stop talking when I hear someone screaming my name. I look over to the sound of Piper's voice and see her being held back by another cop. I look up to the policeman next to me.

Paige: Piper. My sis...sister.

Policeman: Let her through she's family.

Almost immediately Piper is by my side.

Piper: Oh god, what happened Paige?

Paige: S-sorry. I couldn't s-stop h-him.

I try to keep talking but it is getting harder to breathe so I just look over to Victor's body. Piper follows my eyes and sees Victor. I look back up to her face and see the shock. I start coughing and Pipers attention shifts back to me and she uses her shirt to wipe the blood off of my face.

Piper: Ssh. Don't try to talk missy, just sit still. The ambulance is almost here. You are going to be just fine.

Piper takes a hold of my hand and gives it a squeeze and I wince in pain and start coughing again. She immediately lets go and runs her had through my hair.

Piper: I'm so sorry, I didn't know your hand was hurt.

Paige: Ss-ok

Very quickly two paramedics usher Piper to the side and start checking me over. They start talking quickly to each other about my status as I keep eye contact with Piper.

Paramedic: Ma'am I need you to talk to me. Where are you hurt?

Paige: Ba-back.

They quickly put a C-collar on me and roll me onto my side so they can see the wound and put me on a back board. I immediately start to panic when I realize I can't see Piper anymore and that my body is being strapped down to the back board.

Paramedic: Ma'am stop trying to move your going to hurt yourself.

Paige: Pi-piper?

Piper: I'm right here sweetie. I won't leave you just do what the paramedic says.

Paige: kay.

I am quickly lifted up onto a stretcher and loaded into the ambulance. My eyes start darting around trying to locate Piper when I hear her voice.

Piper: I'm right here Paige.

She caresses my cheek letting me know that she is there and I start to close my eyes.

Paramedic: Ma'am stay awake, keep your eyes open.

I open my eyes and look over in the direction of Piper. She leans over into my line of sight and gives me a small smile. An oxygen mask is slipped over my face and I can feel that I am being hooked up to several different machines. I start to panic again as I see the blood that is all over Piper's hands and shirt.

Piper: You're going to be fine Paige. Just look at me and try to take deep breaths.

I stare at Piper and do as she says trying to ignore the chaos around me. I feel the ambulance stop and Piper suddenly sits back, out of my eyesight, and I quickly removed from the ambulance. I start to panic again and I can hear the machines I am hooked up to start beeping.

Piper: Paige stay calm and I'll see you in a little bit. You're going to be fine just hold on a little longer.

I try to say something back but start coughing instead. I can taste the blood that my body is trying to cough up and I am immediately turned on my side. I am placed back down and I listen as doctors and nurses talk in medical gargon and start hooking me up to even more machines. All of a sudden I start feeling really sleepy. I try to fight the feeling and a nurse leans over and looks into my eyes, "don't fight it just close your eyes and sleep." I blink my eyes a couple more times and eventually give in.


	14. Chapter 14

I blink my heavy eyes a couple of times and look around the bright room. The room is very large and has several hospital beds. A few beds down to my left I see a nurse working on another patient. I try to say something to get her attention and I notice that there is something blocking my throat. I try to take a breath and I can't so I start to panic a little. I lift up my hand and bang it on the mattress trying to get someone's attention. The nurse turns around and sees that I am awake. As she makes her way over I close my heavy eye lids finding it hard to keep them open. I open my eyes again and see the nurse looking at my chart.

Nurse: Are you awake? I can't remove the tube unless you are going to stay awake.

I nod my head indicating that I was awake. She puts the chart down and starts fiddling with the machines.

Nurse: When I tell you to blow I will remove the tube ok?

I nod my head again and she tells me to blow. I do so and I feel the tube being dragged up my throat and out my mouth. I immediately start coughing and grab my side as it hurts every time I breathe.

Nurse: Just relax and try to steady your breathing. Don't take deep breaths just breathe normally.

After a few minutes I gain control of my breathing and the nurse puts an oxygen mask over my face telling me they will move me to my room shortly. I nod my head and start looking around the room again trying to stay awake. Soon a young man comes by with the nurse and they start unhooking me from some machines and moving the iv bags on to my gurney. Then the man starts pushing the gurney rather quickly down the hall and on to the elevator. We get off the elevator and he takes me down the hall and around some turns quickly and I start to feel sick. I try to tell him to slow down but my voice is so hoarse that everything is a whisper and he doesn't hear me. As we get closer to my room I see my mom and sisters waiting outside the door. The nurse and orderly get me settled on the bed and I try to tell them that I am going to throw up, but with all the commotion no one hears me. My mom finally figures out what I am trying to say and reaches for a basin but before she can get to me I vomit all over myself. I look down and realize it is all blood. I look back up at my sisters and the three of them quickly leave the room as my mom comes over to help me. The nurse and my mom quickly clean me up and get me settled back in bed. I am so out of it I don't even notice that the nurse is asking me a question until my mom gives my left hand a squeeze.

Nurse: Don't worry about the blood, its just what you swallowed after you were shot and your body can't digest blood. Are you in any pain?

Paige: No

Nurse: Just push the button when you feel any pain and we'll up the medication. I'll be back later to check up on you.

I nod my head and look over to my mom. She gives my hand another squeeze and looks at me with tears in her eyes.

Paige: What happened?

Mom: Do you remember what happened with Victor?

I lean my head back against the bed and nod my head and tears star welling in my eyes.

Paige: I'm sorry. I-I tried to stop him

Mom: It's not your fault sweetie. You have nothing to be sorry for.

Paige: How are they?

Mom: Well they're better now that you're awake. You scared us. You were in surgery for a long time. When he shot you he hit the bottom of your left lung. That is why you are having problems breathing and talking. Want me to go get your sisters?

Paige: Yeah.

My mom leaves the room wiping tears from her eyes. I look at everything I am connected to and before I know it everyone is back in my room. Piper quickly comes over and gives me a soft hug followed by Prue and Phoebe. They step back and I notice the blood all over Piper's shirt.

Paige: Guess I owe you a-a new s-shirt

Piper: Yeah well when you get out of here we'll go shopping and you can get me one.

Paige: Deal.

Everyone sits around my bed and I can tell that each had been crying earlier and the room goes into an awkward silence. I can't imagine how they must feel having their father killed right in front of their building.

Paige: What time is it?

Prue: Around 9 pm.

Paige: M-missed Thanksgiving

Mom: We can make it up once your better.

Phoebe: You took forever to wake up the surgery ended around 5.

Piper: Yeah, they said every time they thought you were awake you would fall back asleep before they could even walk over to your bed.

Prue reaches for my right hand and holds it before I yank it out of her grasp and cradle it in pain.

Mom: Whats wrong?

Paige: hand...hurts

Piper: I totally forgot to tell them about your hand.

Mom: Let me see it Paige.

I carefully let go of my hand and let her take a look at it as Prue pushes the nurse call button.

Mom: Well it's a little bruised and looks swollen.

Phoebe: How did you hurt it?

Paige: I hit Victor a lot when we were fighting for the gun.

Piper: How did they miss that when they were checking you over.

Prue: Probably too concerned with her serious injury.

The nurse walks in and my mom explains the problem and I am immediately transferred to a gurney and taken to x-ray. I am told that I broke one of the bones in my hand and I am put in a cast. By the time I get back to my room it is 11 pm. My mom tells my sisters to go home and get some sleep. They reluctantly agree and each give me a hug before they leave. I shift around on my bed trying to get as comfortable as possible while sitting up.

Mom: Are you in any pain?

Paige: Hurts to breathe.

Mom: Next time say something. I'll call the nurse so she can increase your pain medication.

The nurse comes in and increases the drop on my iv and I start feeling the effects quickly. I start feeling groggy and eventually fall into a restless sleep.

I start to wake up for what feels like the thousandth time and I can hear voices whispering back and forth. My eyes are heavy so I leave them closed but I try to remove the oxygen mask over my face. The mask has been bugging me all night and I just want it off for a few minutes. As I start to knock the mask away someone grabs my hand and puts the mask back on. I try to lift my hand again but someone is holding it. I turn my head and blink open my eyes and see that Prue is the culprit.

Prue: Morning squirt.

Paige: I want it off.

Prue: What do you want off?

Paige: Mask.

Prue: Nope, it stays on. It is helping you breathe.

I lift up my hand with the cast and try to remove the mask, but someone else grabs that arm as well. I look over and Piper gives me a smirk.

Piper: Nice try, Missy Paige. Mom says you have been trying that all night, what is the problem with the mask.

Paige: Annoying. Makes noise and it's not comfortable.

Piper: Maybe later today you can take it off. We'll see what your doctor says.

Paige: Where's mom and Ph-phoebe?

Prue: Mom went home to shower and change. We let Phoebe sleep in so mom will bring her up when she comes back.

Piper: Heard you had a rough night.

I look at Piper totally confused. I don't remember anything about last night except constantly waking up.

Piper: Mom said you woke up with nightmares a lot and you were in a lot of pain.

Prue: How are you feeling now?

Paige: Back is sore and it hu-hurts to breathe.

Prue: Well I'll call the nurse and she can up your meds.

Paige: N-no! I don't like the meds, they ma-make me feel weird.

Piper: Well let us know if it gets worse and we'll call the nurse.

Paige: ok.

Prue: The police are going to stop by this morning. They need to question you about yesterday.

I nod my head and close my close my eyes. I can't look at them knowing that I am partly responsible for their fathers death. I feel the hot tears gathering behind my eyelids and I am fighting to keep my breathing under control

Piper: Sweetie are you alright?

I burst into tears and my breathing starts becoming uneven making everything extremely painful.

Paige: I-I'm so sorry. I sh-should never have told you g-guys about the pa-past. My...my fau-fault.

Piper carefully sits next to me on the bed and pulls me into a sideways hug. While Prue moves next to Piper and holds my hands.

Prue: Ssh. Squirt this is not your fault and you need to believe that. We know you never wanted any of this to happen. Don't you ever be sorry for telling us about him abusing you, we wanted to know and are so happy that you opened up about everything.

Piper: Paige you need to calm down. I can tell that you are in a lot of pain from breathing so erratically so you need to relax.

I try and relax but I can't get my breathing to stabilize and my chest hurts so much that I can't concentrate on anything else. I hear the machines around me start to beep alerting whoever that something is not right.

Prue: Piper can you hit the nurse call button she is in a lot of pain. I can barely feel my fingers she is squeezing my hand so tight.

After a minute or two a nurse comes in and injects something into my iv and the pain starts to float away and I loosen my grip on Prue's hand. My breathing starts to even out and I slowly go back to dreamland.

My world starts to shake as someone is trying to wake me up. I hear several hushed voices in the room as I try to open my eyes. After a couple of minutes I am finally awake enough to see the police in the room and I look over to my mom waiting for an explanation.

Mom: Sweetie they just want to ask you a couple of questions about yesterday and then you can go back to sleep.

I look back at the police and give them a look indicating to ask away.

Policeman: Can you tell us what happened before we arrived yesterday.

Paige: I was coming back from my run and just before I opened the lobby door Victor shot me in the back. Then we star-started fighting for the gun.

Policeman: Why did he shoot you?

I looked at my mom and then nervously back down at my lap.

Paige: I ruined his family.

Policeman: What do you mean by that?

Paige: I...I told them wha-what he did to me.

Mom: She told us that he has been abusive towards her for the past 8 years.

Policeman: Is there anything else you can think of regarding the assault?

Paige: No

Policeman: Ok, that is all we have for now but we might come back for more questions. Mrs. Halliwell can we talk to you in the hall.

Mom: Sure. I'll be right back sweetie.

I watch as my mom and the police leave my room and step into the hall. I can still see them but I can not make out what they are saying. I try to listen closer but all of a sudden Phoebe distracts me with a big hug.

Phoebe: Don't you scare me like that ever again.

Paige: I'll try.

Phoebe: You still tired?

Paige: No, just feel kind of loopy.

Prue: Yeah well they gave you a pretty good dose of pain killers last time.

Phoebe: So how are you feeling besides loopy?

Paige: Ok. Can I have some water?

Piper: Sure. I'll go get you some fresh water, since this has been here all night and is warm.

I keep trying to listen to the conversation in the hallway but as Piper comes back in the room she shuts the door behind her. She pours me a cup of water and hands me the cup. I go to take a sip but realize the mask is in my way and I try to remove it with my other hand but the cast is in the way. Immediately Prue slides the mask down around my neck so I can take a drink. Finally the stupid mask is off! I finish the water and Piper takes the cup back from me. I look back at the door wondering what is going on. I wonder what arrangements are being made for Victor and how my sisters are holding up. I feel someone moving the mask back over my mouth and I try to stop them. Piper grabs my hands and I give in knowing that this is a losing battle.

Paige: Where's mom?

Phoebe: I'll go take a look.

She opens the door and I see mom and a doctor talking. My mom turns to look in my direction and I can see the worry in her eyes. They both walk into the room and my mom takes a seat next to Prue.

Mom: Paige this is your doctor, Dr. Taylor.

Paige: Hi.

Dr. Taylor: Hey there, how are you feeling today?

Paige: Ok.

Dr. Taylor: Well how about I check you out and then explain what is going to happen the next few weeks.

I nod my head and the doctor asks my sisters to leave the room for a little bit. I nervously look over at my mom as the doctor starts reading through my chart. The doctor then starts checking me over and explaining everything I am hooked up to.

Dr. Taylor: Your pretty lucky Paige if the bullet was a little higher you'd be dead right now. The bullet entered your back and buried itself in your left lung. This caused your lung to collapse and that is why you are having trouble breathing and talking. We were able to get the bullet out fairly easily, but you are going to be pretty sore the next few weeks. Right now you have a chest tube draining the fluid from your chest cavity. That will have to stay in for at least a week while the whole in your lung heals naturally. If the hole doesn't heal in two weeks we will have to go back in repair the lung, but that is a last resort.

Paige: How long do I hav-have to stay here?

Dr. Taylor: I'd guess two weeks. We have to watch you carefully and make sure you don't get pneumonia. Then we'll release you, but you will have to limit your physical activities until the lung is fully healed. I'd guess you could resume your everyday activities by mid-January and strenuous activities could probably be resumed in late February.

Paige: I have school. I need to re-report back by Monday.

Dr. Taylor: We can talk to your school I'm sure they'll let you make up everything. You might even be ready to go back before next semester. Where do you go?

Paige: Westpoint.

Dr. Taylor: Cool, I was a doctor in the Army for 15 years before I left. Don't you worry I'm sure we can work something out. In the meantime get some rest and I'll check on you tomorrow.

Paige: 'kay. Thanks.

The doctor leaves the room but the nurse stays behind writing stuff down in the chart and fiddling with the machines again.

Nurse: You can go for short walks around the halls as long as someone is with you. You just have to take this (she points to a post on wheels with iv bags and a little machine attached to it) with you. Don't strain yourself or you'll just set yourself back.

I nod my head looking at the thing she was talking about as she leaves the room. I look back at my mom and notice how tired she looks.

Mom: Any questions, sweetie.

Paige: What...what uh is happening with Victor?

Mom: Don't worry about that. Everything is taken care of.

Paige: I need to know.

Mom: His body is being sent back to San Fransisco tomorrow. I called your aunt and told her what happened and she is going to arrange the funeral for Monday.

I look down at my hands and try to stay in control of my emotions. I completely forgot all about my aunt.

Paige: Did you tell her about...

Mom: Yes, she needed to know why he would attack you like that.

Paige: How is she?

Mom: Mostly shocked. I'm going to get your sisters so I can tell you all about the funeral plans.

I keep staring at my hands wishing I could just turn back time. The four of them come back in the room and Phoebe curls up next to me on the bed careful to avoid all the tubes. She grabs a hold of my good hand as I continue to look down at the bed refusing to make eye contact with anyone. The rest of my family sits down in chairs around the bed.

Mom: Girls we need talk about the arrangements for you father. I called your Aunt Mary and she is going to plan everything for Monday. I called the airlines and booked some seats for Sunday night and have us returning Tuesday evening.

Prue: I'm not going.

Mom: I can't force you three to go but I think you should. If not for yourselves or your father then for your aunt. She lost a brother and is all alone right now, she needs our support.

Prue: Fine I'll go, but I'm not going for him.

Phoebe: Same here.

Piper: I'll go too. How about you Paige?

Paige: Can't.

Phoebe: We'll be there with you, you won't have to be alone.

Mom: Girls Paige is stuck here for the next two weeks. She couldn't go even if she wanted to.

Prue: I'm not leaving her here, not to go to his stupid funeral!

Mom: Prue lower your voice. As I said I am leaving the decision up to you, but I have to go. I have to take care of a lot of things at home while I'm there and I'd appreciate your help.

Piper: What do you think Paige?

Paige: Go. It's not like I'm going anywhere.

Mom: Well you girls think about it and let me know on Sunday morning so I can confirm our seats.

The room sank into an uncomfortable silence as we each contemplate the events of the last few days. The silence is interrupted when the nurse walks in with a tray in her hands. She places the tray on the small bed table and then picks up my chart.

Nurse: Here's your lunch try to eat as much as you can. I'll be back in later to check up on you.

I nod my head and stare at the covered tray sitting in front of me. I am pretty hungry but it hurt to just drink some water I can't imagine what eating is going to feel like. Piper removes the lid from the tray to reveal what the hospital considers a meal. On the tray is a container of juice, what I think is chicken, green beans, and of course Jello.

Phoebe: They want you to eat that?

Prue: Phoebe!

Mom: Paige just try to eat some of this and we'll bring you some real food later.

I reach for the fork with my right hand until I remember that it has a cast on it, so I clumsily use my left hand. I slowly manage to eat everything but the chicken substance.

Piper: Don't blame you for leaving that, it looks awful.

Prue: Still hungry?

Paige: No, just thirsty.

I take a few sips of the juice before I start coughing because some juice went down the wrong pipe. I almost drop my juice as my body reacts to the pain of coughing. Phoebe quickly take the juice from my hand and hops off the bed. I lean forward and try to hold my side as the pain increases. I finally stop coughing but my side is still killing me and my breathing is still not normal. Someone grabs the oxygen mask and puts it back on me. It helps a little and after some time the pain subsides and I lean back on the bed trying to relax.

Mom: Feel better honey?

I nod my head not wanting to talk and risk losing my breath again. I start feeling really light-headed as I hear someone else in the room start to talk. I look to my left and realize that someone must have gotten the nurse.

Nurse: Paige, coughing is going to hurt while your lung heals. Next time sit up and hug a pillow that should relieve some of the pain. I did increase your pain medication so you should be ok for now.

I groggily nod my head and the nurse leaves the room.

Mom: Well girls I think Paige is going to fall asleep pretty soon so how about we grab some lunch and we can bring back Paige some food and anything else she wants.

Phoebe: You guys were here with her earlier so I am staying now, just bring me back something.

Prue: Fine. Paige, do you want anything in particular.

Paige: My backpack.

Piper: How about food?

Paige: Don't care.

Phoebe: Cheeseburger, fries, and a coke for me.

Mom: How does that sound Paige?

I nod my head and start closing my unwillingly falling asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sorry I have been gone so long. Jaw surgery took a lot out of me and then I was just plain lazy and didn't get back to writing until today. I'll try to update as soon as I can, but I am just kind of making this story up as I go along. Let me know if you have any suggestions for the direction of this story, thanks!  
**_

I wake up and the room is mostly dark except for the flickering light of a talk show on tv, and there is the constant sound of oxygen being pumped through my mask. Phoebe is asleep with her head on my stomach and the rest of the room is empty. I have completely lost track of time and have no clue if it is AM, PM, or even what day it is. The one thing I know for certain is I need to get up and move around, I feel like I have been laying in this bed forever. I carefully try to get myself out of the bed without disturbing Phoebe or all the stuff I am connected to, and at my very first move Phoebe bolts awake which is very unusual since she sleeps like the dead.

Phoebe: Paige? What are you doing?

Paige: Just wanted to get up and move around. I need to go to the bathroom and the nurse said I could go for walks.

Phoebe: You should have woke me up to help you.

Paige: I'm 18 I think I can handle going to the bathroom.

Phoebe: You can't even breathe without pain stop being so stubborn and ask for help.

Paige: Whatever, I'm going to the bathroom you want to go for a walk when I'm done.

Phoebe: Sure, but take it slow.

I roll my eyes as I slowly walk into the bathroom. I have never been very dependent on anyone before and I hate the idea that I won't be able to escape my family's watchful eye for a couple of weeks. Last week I was running 5 miles a day not including soccer practice and now I am out of breath from walking to the bathroom, this is going to take some getting use to. I control my breathing before opening the door so Phoebe won't realize how tiring the walk to the bathroom actually was. I open the door to exit the bathroom and Phoebe is right on the other side waiting which startles me.

Paige: Ready?

Phoebe: You sure your up for a walk. We could stay here and talk or watch tv.

Paige: I'm going to be stu-stuck in this place for two weeks I'm going for a walk.

Phoebe: Just don't hurt yourself or mom will kill me for letting you go.

Paige: Don't worry. I'm allowed to go for walks, besides we aren't going far just to the end of the hallway and back.

I head out the door with Phoebe right a my side and slowly make my way down the hall. At the end of the hall there are a few chairs facing the window so you could look out at the lake. I sit down hoping to catch my breath and take in the view. I don't know what it is about this lake that makes me feel at peace. My mind wanders through everything that has happened since my graduation. I was in the best shape of my life, I was learning new things everyday, I was at the top of my class, and I was happy. Now I can't walk down the hallway without feeling winded and I will have to most likely miss next semester at Westpoint. Everything went so wrong, if only I didn't look so distracted when I was riding the train with Piper on Monday. Then everything would have remained the same. Victor would still be alive, I would be on my way back to West point, and my mom and sisters would still have their family.

Phoebe: Whatcha thinking about?

Paige: Nothing.

Phoebe: Paige, don't say that. I know your not thinking of nothing I can practically see the wheels turning. So whats up?

Paige: I just wished this turned out differently. This wasn't how it was suppose to turn out.

Phoebe: What do you mean?

Paige: I was ne-never going to tell you guys about Victor. And-and if I did you were never su-suppose to believe me. I wou-would have been ok with that.

Phoebe: Why would you think we wouldn't believe you? You and I have always been close and told each other everything. How could you keep this from me all these years.

Paige: We have...haven't been close in a long time. We hardly ever ta-talked during high school. In fact you ignored or made fun of me with the rest of your friends.

Phoebe: That's different, that was school, we hung out with different groups. You were always hanging out with the nerdy, smart people. And you were always spacing out and acting weird.

Paige: Who else should I have hu-hung out with? I was... I was the youngest kid in sch-school, no one knew me since I skipped a grade, and someone spread a rumor saying I was a crazy person kicked out of junior high. I-I didn't space out, I was bored in school and I had a lot on my mind.

Phoebe: You wouldn't have been bored if you hung out with the right people.

Paige: I was bored because school was too easy and all my friends were still in junior high. And if I would have pulled half the stu-stunts you did Victor would have killed me.

I looked over to Phoebe and she was looking out at the lake with tears in her eyes.

Phoebe: I'm sorry, I was suppose to look out for you and I made everything worse. You had to deal with me at school and then come home to Victor. No wonder you were so miserable during high school.

Paige: Listen it wasn't your fau-fault, I was a big nerd and you didn't know about Victor. Besides all that made me stronger and... ma-made me who I am to-today.

Phoebe: You ok, you sound all out of breath.

Paige: Fi-fine just tired.

Phoebe: Let's head back to your room, can you walk?

I nod my head and we slowly make our way back to my room. The room is still empty and the lights are off as Phoebe helps me get back into bed and get comfortable. She places the annoying oxygen mask on me and to my surprise it actually seems to help my breathing a bit.

Phoebe: Well that was kinda scary, never thought I'd see you so out of breath from walking and talking. Keep the mask on until your breathing is back to normal, ok?

Paige: ok...what time is it? Where is every...one?

Phoebe: 9 PM and there at the condo getting everything together for this week. I'm not sure what that nurse gave you earlier, but it sure knocked you out. We tried to wake you up for dinner, but you were too out of it to eat and fell right back asleep. By the way your backpack is over there and if your hungry just let me know and I'll get you something.

Paige: Thanks. So is everyone going to the funeral?

Phoebe: I think so, I know Prue doesn't want to but she'll go for Aunt Mary.

Paige: So how are you holding up?

Phoebe: Me? Fine.

Paige: Really?

Phoebe: It hasn't really hit me yet, ya know. Everything has just been so crazy all week, your hurt, and I just...I think the funeral is going to be hard. When I see our house, family pictures, and family and friends on Monday I think it will finally sink in.

I reach over and give Phoebe a hug as she breaks down in tears and I pull her on to the bed. I hold her as the past week finally catches up with her and try to console her. I tell her that everything will be ok and that she isn't alone. Eventually she falls asleep in my arms with a tear streaked face while I try to convince myself that everything will be ok.


	16. Chapter 16

After a very long night that seemed like it would never end the first rays of sunlight broke the horizon. I absent-mindedly ran my hand through Phoebe's hair and stared out the window watching the colors of the sky change as the sun climbed higher thinking about what my next steps would be. I had come up with several ideas through out the night, but the only thing I really wanted to do was head back to Westpoint. I wanted to put this whole mess behind me and get back to my life and make sure that Victor was not going beat me even in death. Phoebe mumbles a few incoherent words and snuggles in closer to my body. I rub her back trying to make her feel better hoping she will keep on sleeping so I can continue to think in silence. My efforts seem to do the exact opposite as she shifts in bed yet again and I can tell she is slowly waking up. Wanting to be left alone I close my eyes pretending to be asleep.

Phoebe: I know your awake Paige, stop faking.

Paige: I'm not faking just closing my eyes for a bit. Feeling better?

Phoebe: Yeah. Thanks. What time is it?

Paige: 7am

Phoebe: Well they should be here soon, I hope they bring breakfast because I'm starving.

Paige: Yeah, me too. So what are your plans today, going shopping?

Phoebe: No, I was going to hang out with you.

Paige: You don't need to I'll be fine by myself. You should get out of here and go shopping like you and mom planned. I wouldn't stay here if I didn't have to.

Phoebe: I like hanging out with you, I don't need to go shopping.

Paige: Since when did you only go shopping when you needed to. Pheebs this place is boring get out of here and do something today.

Phoebe: Why, don't you want me here any more?

Paige: I-I just want you to get out of this place for a bit, you have been here for what almost 3 days now.

Phoebe: Ok, I'll think about it. Did you sleep at all after I fell asleep?

Paige: No, guess I'm getting back to my old self again.

Phoebe: Paige, you shou...

Prue: Morning guys.

Piper: We brought breakfast so I hope your hungry.

Phoebe: Starved, where's mom?

Prue: Talking to the doctor.

Paige: What about?

Prue: You.

Piper: Want a muffin, Paige?

Paige: Yes, please.

Prue: So how was your night? We came back with dinner yesterday, but you were still out of it from the meds.

Phoebe: She woke up around 9, we went for a short walk, and then came back here and talked until I fell asleep. Did you guys bring drinks or should I hit the vending machine?

Piper: Vending machine. Here is a few dollars get everyone something. I'll take a diet coke.

Prue: I'll come with Pheebs, I need coffee.

Paige: Can you just refill this pitcher of water for me. Thanks.

Prue grabs the pitcher and Phoebe and her head out of the room. I continue to stare at the door after I watched my sisters leave the room completely forgetting that Piper is still sitting next to me.

Piper: Paige, you ok?

Paige: What? Yeah, I'm fine.

Piper: So how was Pheebs last night?

Paige: She was ok, I think everything finally hit her last night. She was a little upset, but then she fell asleep and she just woke up. I think she needs to get out of here for a bit, someone should take her shopping or something like that.

Piper: I'll see what I can do. How about you?

Paige: I'm just bored out of my mind. I hope I'm only in here a week and not two.

Piper: We brought your backpack last night and if you want anything else just let us know and we'll get it.

Paige: Thanks.

After a few minutes Phoebe and Prue come in with our drinks, and it looks like Phoebe has been crying. I give Piper a questioning look and she just shrugs her shoulders. We eat breakfast in silence each lost in our own thoughts when mom and Dr. Taylor come in. Mom comes over to the bed and gives me a quick hug and says good morning.

Dr. Taylor: Morning Paige, looks like you had a rough day yesterday. How are you feeling today.

A nurse enters the room and walks towards the iv bags. As I answer the doctors question I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I become very uncomfortable.

Paige: Fi-fine.

Dr. Taylor: Good. I'm going to check you over, make sure you're making good progress.

Paige: Alright.

Mom: Lets go girls. We'll be in the waiting room, Paige.

I nod my head and my family leaves the room. The doctor then asks me a bunch of questions and takes a look at my back. He says a bunch of things in medical jargon to the nurse and she carefully makes notes in my chart.

Dr. Taylor: Everything looks good, your lung seems to be healing nicely. I'm guessing you will be out of here before the end of the week. The worst of the pain is over with, but it will still be painful to cough. I'd expect coughing to be a bit painful for a couple weeks. Any questions?

Paige: Could you write me a doctors note to excuse me from attendance at Westpoint.

Dr. Taylor: Sure, remind me on Monday and I'll call the student health place and let them know what is going on.

Paige: Thanks.

Dr. Taylor: No problem. I'll tell your family they can come back in.

I nod my head and the nurse finishes her notes and begins adjusting the iv drips and the cleans the wound on my back and checks the tube going into my chest. Right as she left the room my mom and sisters come back in taking seats all around my bed.

Paige: He said looks like I can be out of here by the end of the week. Thank god because it is boring being stuck in here and I'll be able to take my finals for this semester.

Mom: Thats great sweetie. Since we are all in the same room I wanted to ask you guys something. What do you think about me selling the house in San Fransisco and moving out here?

This is quite a surprise and I can tell I'm not the only one thinking this as my sisters each have there mouths hanging open looking as if they're are searching for something to say. I decide to break the tension in the room and hopefully bring my sisters out of their trance.

Paige: Fine with me, where you going to move to?

Mom: I was thinking somewhere around here so I could be closer to all of you.

Paige: Well I think that is a good idea, how about you guys?

Piper: Yeah, it would be great living closer to you mom.

Prue: If it is what you want I think you should do it. I'm a little shocked that none of us will be living in San Fransisco, but I like the idea of us being closer to each other.

Mom: How about you Phoebe?

Phoebe: Could I still live with you during breaks?

Mom: Of course. I'd get a 4 bedroom place, big enough for you everyone to stay if they wanted.

Phoebe: Then I think it's a great idea.

Mom: I'm glad you guys like the idea because I have already started looking around here and a realator might have found a house in the suburbs.

Prue: That was fast. How long have you been thinking about this?

Mom: Since Tuesday, after I found out about Victor I didn't want to move back there with him.

Piper: Well you can stay with us until the deal goes through on the house.

Mom: Thanks.

Paige: Have you started selling the house yet?

Mom: No, but when we go back tomorrow I'm going to start packing everything up. I might stay a couple extra days to make sure it's all packed before coming back. Is that ok Paige?

Paige: Yeah.

Mom: I'll pack up your stuff since you can't come with us tomorrow.

Paige: I do-don't have anything there.

Mom: Sure you do, you hardly took anything with you to Westpoint.

Paige: No, I packed up everything I wanted to keep and moved it out when I left in June. I wasn't ever going to move back in and I knew he would trash my stuff if I left it.

Mom: But there is still stuff in your room.

Paige: Just generic stuff like posters, books, and old toys, but nothing I want to keep. You can trash whatever is in my room I already have all my stuff.

Mom: So where are all your things that you moved out?

Paige: At my dorm room.

Prue: Wait I thought mom said you hardly took anything with you when you left.

Paige: I mailed a bankers box of stuff before I left in June.

Piper: A bankers box, those aren't big at all.

Paige: Well I didn't have a lot of stuff. He kinda trashed a lot of my things over the years, so I didn't have a lot of things. I just had enough to make it look like I had things when you guys came in my room.

Mom: We'll get you knew stuff for your new room.

Paige: I'm...I'm not moving back in with you guys.

Phoebe: What!

Prue: Paige you need to live somewhere.

Paige: I have a place at Westpoint and in the summer I'll rent an apartment.

Piper: Don't be ridiculous you can move back here with us when you are out of school.

Prue: Mom said she was getting a place big enough for all of us and we want to see you.

Paige: Well I want to live alone. My whole life I have lived with family and nothing good has ever come out of it, so now I want to be alone!

Mom: Paige, it will be different now, he's not going to be around. I want you to live with me, I love you.

Phoebe: Come on Paige it will be fun living together again. I'll be at mom's and we can hang out with Piper and Prue all the time.

Paige: It was never very enjoyable to live at home to begin with and I'm done trying to live in a place I don't want to be. I'll visit you guys and we can hang out then, but I don't want to live with family anymore.

Piper: Paige we love you so much and we would never hurt you, you don't have to worry about that any more. You'll be safe at home.

Paige: I'll be safe at school too. I don't see what the big deal is, I mean if you had never found out about Victor you wouldn't care if I never moved back so why is it different now.

Prue: Because now we know why you don't want to live at home and we want you to know how it feels to be loved at home.

Paige: Well I tried that for 17 years, you had 17 years to make me feel loved at home and it never happened so now I'm doing something for myself. It's not my fault that you waited until now to want to make me feel loved at home. You had to have known that I wasn't happy for all the years and never once did you try and change that. You never tried to figure out what was wrong, I was just an annoying little sister or the bad seed daughter. So tell me why now is any different then before, and if the answer is because now we know about Victor I don't want to hear it. I don't want your pity and I don't need to be loved just because you feel bad for everything Victor did. I'll be just fine on my own, in fact I know I'll be better off than I was the first 17 years of my life.

I looked at each of my sisters and my mom waiting for a response and they looked as shocked as could be. I myself was pretty surprised I said all those things, and I'd feel guilty if I didn't know all of what I said was true. The fact was I couldn't remember a time when I felt completely safe and loved at home. All I remember is being very insecure about my place in the family and always having to tread carefully to makes sure I didn't upset anyone. I look back up at my family and I can see that they are now crying and trying to think of a response.

Phoebe: I-I'm sorry. I know I always was mean to you at sch-school and ignored you at home. I was stupid. Please don't leave us I need you and I want to make it up to you. I love you Paige, and I'm sorry I never showed it before.

Paige: I know you love me Pheeb's and I love you, but I'm not moving back in because you need me. I promised myself when I moved out I would never move back and that I would start doing things for myself. I know I could never feel comfortable living at home and I don't want to feel that way, I want to know I'm living somewhere where I'm wanted.

Mom: Paige, you are wanted and you are loved very much by all of us. I know we haven't done a good job of showing you that up until know, but we want to try. Please think it over while we are in San Fransisco and we can talk about it when we get back.

Paige: I'll think about it.

Mom: Thank you sweetie. Now you just relax and try to get better. We are going to go and pack and then leave for San Fransisco and we'll see you on Wednesday. Give us a call if you need anything or want to talk.

My mom then gives me a big hug and whispers how much she loves me in my ear. Then each of my sisters gives me a tearful hug goodbye and they leave the room.


	17. Chapter 17

Curling up in a ball I try to ignore the signals of pain being sent to my brain. I hug my knees closer to my chest as I sink lower under the sheets of the bed. I keep my eyes open so I don't have to see a replay of what has just happened to me. I hear footsteps in the hallway and I hold my breath and praying that they will just keep walking. The person in the hall pauses outside my door and then continues past my room. I take a deep breath and try to make myself relax, but my body rebels in pain. I again hear footsteps in the hall and then the sound of the door creaking open. I hold my breath again and my heart starts racing in my chest. I see a shadow of a hand grab the sheet that is draped over my body and lift it away and before my face is revealed I close my eyes hoping that if he thinks I'm asleep he'll leave me alone. I can sense that the whoever has removed the sheet is now reaching out to touch my face and just before their hand makes contact I bolt awake from my nightmare. I shakily take a few deep breathes to calm my nerves and I suddenly notice that someone is sitting beside me, on the bed, rubbing my back, trying to comfort me. My body immediately tenses up not knowing who this person is and how long they have been sitting there.

Mom: It's alright Paige its just me, try and calm down.

Paige: What...what are you doing here?

Mom: We just got back in town a few hours ago and I wanted to see you. Your sisters are at their place, they'll stop by in the morning during visiting hours.

Paige: Oh.

My mom leans back against the back of the bed and puts her arm around my shoulder and pulls me against her. I shift so that I'm laying on my side with my head is on hear chest, and I relax into her embrace.

Mom: Better?

Paige: Yeah, what time is it?

Mom: 3 am, That was quite a dream you were having, your heart rate shot pretty high, and you were moving an awful lot.

I nod my head not wanting to give any details of what the nightmare entailed.

Mom: Was it a memory?

Paige: Yeah.

Mom: Want to talk about it?

Paige: No.

Mom: The nurse said you were having a lot of nightmares while we were gone, I think it might help if you talked about them.

Paige: Just Victor hurting me again, it's not a big deal.

Mom: Have you been having these nightmares every time you sleep.

Paige: Just about.

Mom: I really think you should tell me about them so I can try and help, sweetie. It's important to not keep it bottled up inside. If you don't want to tell me maybe we could find someone else you could talk to.

Oh god, she thinks I'm crazy and she wants to send me to a shrink.

Paige: I'm not crazy.

Mom: I know sweetie, but I know these dreams are hurting you and I don't want you to be in any more pain. Maybe talking about things will make the dreams go away.

Paige: How did everything go in San Fransisco?

Mom: As well as could be expected. The funeral was pretty small after word got out that he was killed while trying to kill you. Your sisters and I packed up most of the house and I put it on the market. I know your stalling, Paige, but I haven't forgotten about your nightmares.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, inhaling my mothers scent.

Paige: He was raping me.

I feel her grip tighten and she kisses the top of my head.

Paige: It was the first time and...and it hurt so much.

I keep my eyes closed and I can feel the tears streaking down my face and landing on my mom's shirt. My mom is rubbing my back and I can tell she is trying to hold back her tears.

Mom: How old were you?

Paige: 15, I-I just finished taking a shower and went into my room to change and he was going through my stuff again. He found a cigarette in my backpack and he started yelling at me about bringing cigarettes into his house. Then he started hitting me and my towel slipped and... and...

Mom: It's ok sweetie, you are doing so good just take your time.

Paige: I had my eyes closed as he kept hitting me and then all of a sudden he...he did it. He was yelling at me about how I deserved it because of what Sam did to you. When he was done he kicked me a couple times and told me to get ready for bed. I-I took another shower...and then went to bed. I was so scared he was going to come back, but then you came back from work early. You-you came in my room because it was only 8 pm and you thought I had a cold or something.

Mom: Oh god, I remember that night. Oh baby I'm so sorry. How could I have been so stupid? When I lifted the sheet on your bed you looked so scared and you were shivering so I figured you had a fever. I'm so sorry.

My mom rocked me as we both cried about the cruelty Victor inflicted upon me.

Mom: Thank you for telling me Paige, I can't imagine how hard that was for you.

I nod my head and sniff back some tears trying to clear my head of the images from my past. It was almost as if my mom read my mom when she asked if I wanted to watch a movie?

Paige: It's 4 nothing is on.

Mom: I brought the portable DVD player and some movies. How about a comedy?

Paige: Yeah.

We both lay back and watch the movie, grateful for the distraction. By the time the movie ends we are both still awake and the breakfast trays are being distributed. As my mom lifts the cover from the tray I can tell it's another morning of Jello and oatmeal.

Mom: Hungry sweetie?

Paige: Not really.

Mom: Would you be hungry if I went to the diner across the street and picked up something.

Paige: I think by the time you got back I would be hungry.

Mom: Good, I'll be right back with my breakfast and we'll eat together.

Paige: Wait, what?

Mom: I'm just kidding Paige, you should see the look on your face. What would you like?

Paige: Not funny, I have been eating this stuff for six days now. Could I have pancakes, bacon, and toast, please.

Mom: Sure I'll be right back.

While mom was gone getting breakfast Dr. Taylor and a nurse came for his daily rounds.

Dr Taylor: How are you doing today, Paige?

Paige: Good, I don't have any problems breathing. Ready to get out of here.

Dr. Taylor: Well let me take a look at your chest tube to see if the hole in your lung has closed up.

After a few minutes of looking over my back and listening to my breathing he jotted a couple of things down in my chart.

Dr. Taylor: Well your lungs sound good and it seems like your lung has healed itself. I'm going to remove your chest tube and stitch up your side. If your still feeling good this afternoon I'll discharge you this evening.

The nurse brings him a tray of stuff as my mom walks in the room. The doctor repeats the news for her as the nurse prepares a shot.

Dr. Taylor: Paige, this is just a local pain killer, it will numb up the are so I can remove the tube and stitch you up.

I nod my head not taking my eyes off the needle. You'd think after being in the hospital a week, getting shot in the back, and having several iv's in my arm I wouldn't be nervous about a simple shot, but I am seriously scared of needles.

Mom: Paige look at me and hold my hand ok. Don't look at what he is doing and it will be over really soon.

I put my casted-hand in hers and she ran her hand through my hair softly.

Mom: Your doing good, sweetie. When this is done we'll have breakfast and then we can go for a walk if you want. I called Prue and they are going to come up at noon and bring us some lunch.

Paige: Sorry I yelled at you before you left on Saturday.

Mom: That's ok sweetie, you were right to be upset. We should have noticed something was wrong and done something about it. I want you to live with me, but I'll understand if you can't.

Paige: Thanks.

Dr. Taylor: All done. Don't over do the walk and I'll see you this afternoon. I'm also going to send a counselor in to talk with you later in the morning. Standard procedure for victims of violent crimes.

Paige: Ok.

We eat breakfast in silence for the most part watching the news and then go for our walk. I can now walk much farther but I get winded if I walk too fast. When we get back to the room we turn on another movie, but about halfway through we are interrupted by the counselor.

Counselor: Hi, I'm Sarah Heinse. I'm a counselor at the hospital and I wanted to see how you were doing before you left this evening.

Paige: Hi.

Mom: Hi, I'm Paige's mom Patty. Should I leave?

Sarah: That's up to Paige.

Paige: You can stay.

Sarah: I was reading over what happened and it said you were shot by your father. How do you feel about that?

Paige: He wasn't my father, Victor was more of a step-father I guess. And getting shot hurts.

Sarah: Sorry about that, so do you know why he would want to hurt you.

Paige: Yes.

Sarah: Care to elaborate?

Paige: Not particularly.

Mom: Paige be cooperative.

I roll my eyes and give this hack of a counselor the cliff notes version of what happened and why. By the time I finished she seemed so confused she just made notes, thanked me and left.

Paige: Well that was a wasted hour.

Mom: Yeah, she didn't seem very experienced.

Phoebe: Hey Paige!

Paige: Hi.

Piper: So what have you been up to while we've been away?

Paige: Homework, studying for finals, and being bored out of my mind.

Prue: I heard you're getting sprung tonight?

Paige: Yep, I can't wait to get out of here.

Phoebe: Wait a minute you have been studying the entire time you have been here!

Paige: What else was I going to do, daytime tv stinks. And I have finals next week.

Phoebe: Me too. When are you going back?

Paige: I was hoping Saturday.

Prue: You're going back right away?

Paige: I have to take my finals and I the school said if I got out of the hospital this week I could take my finals next week. I have been turning in my homework over e-mail all this week so I have been keeping up.

Piper: What about the holidays, are you coming back? You can stay at our place.

Prue: Yeah and then we could have our Thanksgiving dinner. It can be a post-finals party for Phoebe and Paige.

Phoebe: Cool, I was really craving a turkey dinner.

Mom: What do you say Paige?

Paige: Sounds good, but just for the holidays.

Piper: Great. So you hungry for lunch?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Prue: She wasn't talking to you, stupid.

Phoebe: Well I'm hungry.

Paige: Me too.

We eat lunch talking about mundane things, basically trying to avoid sticky topics. I know they want me to say I'll move in with mom and stay the rest of break, but I'm just not ready. And I know if I tell them that Westpoint has given me all of next semester off to recuperate and that I have accepted their offer they would never stop pestering me about moving back.

Eventually my sisters leave to get the condo ready for my arrival, whatever that means. I think they are just going grocery shopping and Piper is probably locking Prue in her room to clean. My mom and I lay down on the bed watching a movie and try to take a nap waiting for the doctor to release me.


	18. Chapter 18

_Sorry for the long wait, but here is the next chapter. Thanks so much for reading!_

The air is cold and fresh and feels great compared to the stale air inside the hospital. I can't believe I'm finally out. By the time Dr. Taylor came around for my final check up and after all the paper work I'm released just in time to go home and have dinner. My mom and I hop in the cab and make our way towards Prue and Piper's place. I'm completely exhausted from filling out paper work and having never been able to take a nap during the day. As we make our way through the city I look out the window watching holiday shoppers make their way from store to store. The snow from a week ago has partially melted making the patches of snow left look dirty. Before I know it we have pulled up to my sister's building and I'm waiting on the sidewalk as my mom is paying the cab fare. I look down and I see the faded blood stains that were left in the aftermath, and then I look at the building and see the whole in the brick wall. I stare at the hole and the memories of the bullet flying just above my head and the shattered brick falling onto me floods my mind. I completely forgot about that second shot and how close it was to killing me.

Mom: Paige, are you ok honey?... Paige?

Paige: Huh?

Mom: Are you ok?

Paige: Yeah. Ju-Just remembering.

She wraps her arm around my shoulder and guides me through the front door of the building and we make our way on to the elevator.

Paige: I forgot about that last shot. That was really close I heard it zip over my head.

Mom: I know sweetie, but your ok now. It's all over.

We enter the condo and I'm immediately hit with the smell of a wonderful dinner being made in the kitchen. I hear Prue and Phoebe fighting in the living room and it brings back memories of when we all lived together, and the normality of bickering in the house. We hang up our jackets and walk into the condo and see Piper cooking while Prue and Phoebe are playing cards.

Paige: Whatcha playing?

Phoebe: You're back!

Phoebe quickly hops out of her chair and gives me a big hug, practically squeezing the life out of me.

Prue: Back off Phoebes or your going to smother her.

Phoebe: Oh god, I'm sorry. Are you ok?

Paige: Calm down I'm fine.

Prue and Piper both come over to give me a much softer hug and have me sit down on the couch. Everyone sits down in awkward silence trying to think of something to say.

Piper: Dinners almost done, we're having tacos.

Paige: Smells good.

Prue: Want something to drink?

Paige: Water would be great.

She grabs me a bottle of water from the refrigerator and sits down next to me, while Phoebe and my mom both help Piper get everything on serving plates and set the table.

Prue: Bet you're glad to be out there.

Paige: One more day and I might have gone crazy. It's way too boring at hospitals.

Prue: Sorry we couldn't visit more, with being out of town and everything.

Paige: That's ok. How did everything go?

Prue: Pretty well. It was very short, not too many people came and then we went home and started boxing things up. Spent the whole time packing up and visiting lawyers.

Paige: Lawyers?

Prue: Yeah had to go through the will and then start selling the house.

Paige: Sounds like you had a blast back home.

Prue: Well what can I say we left the life of the party back in Chicago.

Paige: Yeah right, Phoebe is the life of the party.

Phoebe: What about me?

Paige: Talking about you and how boring you are at parties.

Phoebe: Whatever, you all know that the party hasn't really started until I arrive. I have to make up for my three boring sisters.

Prue: I can be fun too, you know.

Paige: When were you fun?

Prue: Hey, I had my fun in school. At this one party...

Mom: Girls I don't want to here about your partying and dinner is ready so start serving yourselves.

We pass around the food and quietly eat the wonderful tacos Piper has made.

Paige: This is great Piper, thanks.

Piper: You're welcome. I figured tacos are your favorite and you have been enduring way too much of that nasty hospital food.

Paige: You're telling me, I hope I never see Jell-O again. They serve it with like every meal.

Phoebe: Then you're not going to like dessert tonight.

Paige: That's ok I'm full.

Prue: She's joking, we wouldn't do that to you. Pheebs made cookies.

Piper: Don't worry I watched so they are safe.

Phoebe: Ha-ha.

The rest of the night goes pretty much the same, all of us joking around and acting like nothing ever happened. From the outside we would seem like a very happy family, but from the inside we were all carefully avoiding certain topics. We we play a couple card games and by 11 pm I'm about ready to lay my head on the kitchen table and fall asleep. I stifle a yawn as I fight to keep my heavy eyes open.

Mom: I don't know about you girls but I'm beat, did you figure out sleeping arrangements?

Piper: Pheebs is on the couch, I'm in Prue's room, and you two are sharing my room. Paige your bag is in my room and I washed your clothes, so there all clean.

Paige: Thanks, I'm going to get ready for bed.

I walk in the bedroom, look around and don't immediately see my bag so I sit down on the bed to think where Piper may have put it. I slowly blink my eyes and then lay back on the bed thinking I'll rest for a few minutes and then get ready for bed.

I bolt awake breathing heavily trying to get a sense of my surroundings. All of a sudden arms wrap around me embracing me in a hug.

Mom: Ssh. You're ok, you're ok sweetie.

I take a few stuttering, deep breaths and wipe the tears that were streaming down my face. I lean against my mom's body and concentrate on her heart beat and I slowly start to relax. I'm completely exhausted but I'm too afraid to fall asleep. Even though Victor is dead he is still able to torture me within my dreams. I feel my eyes starting to close so I stand up to get ready for the day.

Mom: Where are you going?

Paige: Take a shower and get dressed.

Mom: It's only 2 am you need more than 3 hours of sleep, lay back down.

Paige: I'm not tired anymore.

Mom: Don't lie to me Paige you were just about to fall asleep before you stood up. Tell me whats wrong so I can help.

Paige: I'm fine, I'll take a nap later if i get tired.

Mom: Well you can't leave the room you'll wake up your sisters so why don't you lay down with me and we'll talk.

I lay back down on the bed and my mom readjust us so that my head is on her shoulder. We are completely silent and I know that she wants me to start the conversation.

Paige: Have you looked for a house around here yet?

Mom: I'm putting in an offer for a place tomorrow. It's a three bedroom place by UIC (A/N University of Illinois Chicago). Good neighborhood and a half-mile from here. The buildings new, has workout facilities, a pool, and there is a nice sitting area on the roof.

Paige: Sounds ... yawn... nice. When will you know you got it.

Mom: Maybe a week later and we could move in probably week after that since I'll won't need to get a loan. Our old house already sold for more than the asking price. When you go to school next week I'm going back to sign all the papers and move everything back here. We should be able to have Christmas in our new place.

It is getting extremely hard to keep my eyes open and I keep feeling my body jerking itself awake.

Mom: Paige its ok if you fall asleep I won't mind, just shut your eyes.

Paige: I don't want to.

Mom: Is it the dreams, sweetie.

Paige: They won't go away. Why won't they go away?

Mom: I don't know, baby. We'll figure it out, but how about you close your eyes and try to sleep. If you start having a nightmare I'll wake you up, ok?

Paige: yawn...ok

I wake up and the room is filled with sunlight and my mom is running her hand through my hair. I take a deep breath and feel completely rejuvenated, after getting some much needed sleep.

Mom: About time you woke up it 9 o'clock. Your sisters wanted to go Christmas shopping today what do you say.

Paige: I'll do anything as long as it doesn't involve a hospital.

Mom: Well go get ready for the day and come to the kitchen for breakfast.

Paige: kay.

I get ready for the day and head into the kitchen. Prue and my mom are both reading the paper in the living room while Phoebe was eating cereal while watching tv, and Piper was no where in sight. I start going through the cabinets in search of a bowl for my cereal when all of a sudden someone's hand touches my shoulder and I jump startled from the new presence in the room.

Piper: Hey missy if you're looking for a bowl its in that cabinet over there.

Paige: Th-thanks.

Piper: What kind of cereal do you want? I just got back from the store and I bought the variety pack, so we have a bit of everything.

Paige: I'll take the co-co krispies, please.

Piper: Here, since when did you like sugary cereal. You always took the nasty kinds like 19.

Paige: Always, just wasn't allowed to take the cereal that you guys might have liked or I would get in trouble. I figured you guys weren't going to eat the healthy cereal so that is what I took.

Piper: Well you just pick the stuff you want from now on and don't worry about whether or not its allowed. So what do you want for Christmas since we're going shopping today.

Paige: Uh...I don't know, anything will be fine.

Piper: You have to give me some ideas or I won't get something you like. I mean I always end up giving you gift certificates and I never know what you get with them.

Paige: Victor usually took the gift certificates, but I did like those. I like books and I need clothes, but not clothes like Phoebe, more like your style.

Piper: Alright I can work with that list. So you ready to go back tomorrow?

Paige: Yep, I feel like I have been studying forever for my finals. I can't wait to just get them over with. I also have other stuff I need to take care of like my job and soccer.

Piper: You aren't suppose to play soccer Paige, the doctor said you couldn't so stuff like that for a couple of months.

Paige: I know Pipe. I'm just going to explain to my team why i can't play and watch our last game.

Piper: That better be all you do.

Paige: So what do you want for Christmas?

Piper: Clothes is always a good choice and some new cd's.

Paige: Well I already owe you a shirt from before. When are we leaving?

Piper: You know I was just kidding about replacing that shirt right? I mean it was just an old, ratty shirt to begin with.

Paige: I know.

Piper: We'll leave once you're done eating. We're going out to the suburbs since the stores are cheaper there.

Paige: kay.

I eat the rest of my cereal and then we head out to the mall. On the way there we tell each other what we would like and my mom tells me and Phoebe that she is getting us winter coats since this will be our first cold winter. Once we are at the mall we split up and start our hunt for the perfect gift. I finish relatively quickly because I don't like shopping so I'm pretty efficient at it. I wander over to a book store buy a drink and sit down and read a book until I'm suppose to meet up with everyone. At noon I head off to the food court area and see the rest of my family seated at a table.

Phoebe: What did you get me?

Prue: Aren't you too old for this Pheebs?

Phoebe: Never, so what did you get me.

I try and think of something she would hate as a gift but seem like I might get for her.

Paige: A book about psychology.

Phoebe: Eww. Take it back and get me something better.

Piper: She's joking, duh.

Mom: Have a seat Paige and eat whatever. We just bought a bunch of different stuff and are sharing.

After we finish lunch we go to a department store to pick out winter coats and then we head back into the city loaded down with our presents. On the drive back into the city we hit rush hour and are practically at a stand still in traffic. The change from laying around all day to shopping all day finally hits me and I start to feel tired. I try to get comfortable in my seat but it is impossible since being the youngest I got stuck with the middle seat in between Piper and Phoebe. Phoebe is already out cold with her head leaning against the window and Piper is just looking out the window.

Paige: Piper, how long do you think it will take us to get back.

Piper: An hour. Looks like we are stuck in some major traffic. Why?

Paige: Just...yawn...curious.

Piper: Tired, huh? Just close your eyes I'll wake you when get home.

Paige: No, I'm fine.

I look over towards Phoebe and try to stifle a yawn hoping Piper won't see. Piper wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her body and I lay my head on her shoulder. I tell myself that I'll just relax on the ride back and not sleep, but I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know Piper is waking me up.

Piper: Missy were home, time to wake up.

Paige: kay.

I look around and mom s busy trying to wake Phoebe up while Prue pops the trunk and takes out her bags. I get out of the car with Piper and sleepily walk to the back of the car grabbing some of my bags. I go to reach for the bag with Phoebe's and my coats but Piper grabs my arm and drags me over to the elevator.

Piper: They can get the rest besides you can't carry anything in your right hand, its broke remember.

I nod my head and we step in the elevator and head up to Piper's floor. By the time we get to the front door I can tell I'm a little out of breath and it must be noticeable since Piper gives me a look and then sighs in frustration.

Piper: Paige you have to tell us when you start getting tired and to slow down.

Paige: What are you

Piper: Don't play dumb, you are out of breath and I can tell you're in pain. Put your bags down in my room and then go sit on the couch.

I quickly go do as Piper says after hearing the sternness in her voice and see the look on her face that said, 'don't mess with me.' As I'm sitting on the couch the rest of my family walks in and puts there things away. Piper comes into the living room with a glass of water and sits next to me on the couch.

Piper: Here take your pain meds and no arguing about it either.

I can tell she is not kidding so I reluctantly take the pills and glass of water out of her hand and do as she says.

Paige: I hate these, they make me feel all weird and tired.

Piper: Well it will help with the pain make rest. You can't go from laying around the hospital to running around all in one day.

Paige: I fell asleep in the car and its not like shopping is very exerting.

Piper: Yeah well you were out of breath from walking about 200 feet so stop fighting with me on this.

Prue: What are you two fighting about.

Piper: Nothing.

Prue: Well Phoebe is studying for her finals in my room and mom has to go to the realator so it's just the three of us this afternoon.

Piper: You have to study, missy?

Paige: No I'm done studying so we can do whatever.

Prue: Well how about a game of Scrabble.

Piper and Paige: Ok.

The three of us play Scrabble for a bit until Piper kicks our butt by over 100 pts.

Prue: I thought you were suppose to be some sort of genius, squirt.

Paige: She drugged me before the game.

Piper: I'll take any advantage I can get.

Prue: Well lets watch some tv until mom comes back with dinner.

Prue sits on one end of the couch and has me lay my head on her lap so she can run her hand through my hair as we watch tv. After about an hour mom comes in the condo with some Chinese food. All of us sit down and eat dinner quietly thinking about the week ahead. After dinner I go in Piper's room and start packing my stuff up for when I leave tomorrow morning. I get ready for bed and then head back into the living room where everyone else is talking while the tv is on in the background.

Mom: Done packing?

Paige: Yep all set for tomorrow morning, how about you Pheebs?

Phoebe: Yeah I packed before dinner.

Prue: So when are your tests done?

Paige: Wednesday.

Phoebe: Tuesday.

Mom: When are you girls coming back?

Paige: I can't leave until Saturday afternoon so I'll just hop on the train Saturday night and get here Sunday morning.

Phoebe: I'm taking the train on Wednesday afternoon, so I'll be here Wednesday night.

Piper goes into the kitchen for a second an comes back out handing a key to me and one to Phoebe.

Piper: Prue and I have to go back to work tomorrow so that is a key for you in case we aren't at home.

Paige and Phoebe: Thanks.

Mom: I'm going to bed girls I'll see you in the morning.

We all say goodnight to mom and then hang out talking about mundane things until we all go to bed. The next morning I again bolt awake from yet another nightmare and my mom is there to comfort me until I the dregs of the nightmare leave me. Later in the morning Phoebe and I board the train and head back to New York to finish the semester.


	19. Chapter 19

As I walk through the quad in the early morning hours I watch the sun rise and hear my fellow classmates running around campus. I make my way to the student health center, walk up the stairs, and knock on the Dr. Jenkins door.

Dr. Jenkins: Enter

I go into the office and stand at attention in front of her desk.

Dr. Jenkins: Please sit cadet Halliwell. I have your medical records from Chicago and I've reviewed the notes Dr. Taylor and the counsler have made. During our last conversation I mentioned the possibility of you taking next semester off and after reviewing everything I think a semester off would be benefical to you. The hole in your lung has healed and you're back to normal activities but I can tell you are no where near 100 percent. You most likely won't be able to start running or do any other type of aerobic activities until late winter, early spring. With all this in mind I would suggest returning home for the Spring semester get yourself fully recovered and come back for some Summer classes. What do you think?

Paige: I agree that I won't be in the physical condition I need to be for next semester and that with a semester off I could get back to where I was and possibly even better off. My concern is that I really don't want to get behind in my class work or potentially get dropped back to the next class.

Dr. Jenkins: I understand your concerns and have already spoken with members of the faculty and we put together a list of work that you should do while you are gone in the spring and then in June you could return to West Point to take courses in order to catch up to the others in your class. With that in mind you will not be allowed to attend next semester. I also would like you to continue to see a doctor so your progress can be monitored and you can be re-evaluated prior to returning in June. Here is the packet of course work the faculty put together for you along with a packet I put together to help you with your rehab.

Paige: Thank you Dr. Taylor I appreciate everything that you and the faculty have done for me and although I'm disappointed that I can't return next semester I will use that time to come back prepared for the summer session.

Dr. Jenkins: You better start packing so you can leave on time tonight. Dismissed.

I leave the office and slowly head back to my dorm room trying to take in everything that has just happened. Even though I had intended on taking off next semester when it was initially offered to me last week it has finally hit me that I really won't be returning and that it wasn't even a decission left up to me, but one made for me. I hate Victor for messing this up for me, this was something I worked hard for and he is ruining for me. By the time I get back to my room I'm completely out of breath so I try to catch my breath so my roommate, Erika, won't notice.

Erika: That was quick, so what did they say.

Paige: I have to take next semester off and I can return in the summer to catch up on my class work. They also gave me some work to do over the Spring semester so I don't get too far behind.

Erika: That sucks.

Paige: I know but atleast I get to come back and now you'll have the room to yourself.

Erika: Yeah but you were actually a good roommate, I mean some of the stories you hear about other roommates.

Paige: Thanks, I'll miss being here with you guys.

Erika: So where are you going to go?

Paige: Well I promised my family I would go back to Chicago for the holdays, but after that I'm not sure.

Erika: Well I'm all packed and my ride is leaving so I'll see you around and you better keep in touch.

Paige: I will and have a good break.

Erika leaves the room and I look around and notice how empty it seems. Practically everything in here belongs to Erika. The only things I brought with me were some clothes, paper work, and a few personal effects. I grab my bags and start packing up my clothes and books since I already mailed my bankers box to Piper and Prue's place. After I have packed everything I decide to go for a walk to try and keep myself awake. Ever since I boarded the train in Chicago I have been limiting my sleep to a couple hours a day to avoid nightmares. I was successful in avoiding nightmares but I completely wore myself out by not sleeping and it is starting to catch up with me. I spend the day walking the grounds and then I call a cab to take me to Central Station. Once I'm at the station I stop at a book store and buy something to keep me awake on the training figuring I can sleep once I'm in Chicago. The train ride feels like it is never going to end and by the time I'm pulling up to the station I have walked up and down the train too many times to count and drank several cups of coffee. I grab my stuff and get off the train and am immediately given a hug by Phoebe.

Paige: Hey Pheebs.

Phoebe: Hey yourself. How did your tests go? And by the way you look like crap.

Paige: Gee thanks Phoebe that is just what I wanted to hear. Tests went fine and I'll be fine after I get some sleep.

Phoebe: Well Piper and Prue are at work, and mom is flying back in tonight. So you have plenty of time to sleep before they get back and you better take it because they will lecture you til no end if you don't.

Paige: I will, lets just get back so I can sleep.

Phoebe: Here give me one of your bags.

Paige: Thanks.

We head back to the condo and as I pass over the spot where my life changed so much I take a shacky breath. I feel an arm go around my shoulders and guide me into the building.

Phoebe: Come on kiddo lets get upstairs.

I nod my head and we go upstairs and I follow Phoebe and put my stuff in Piper's room.

Phoebe: We're sticking to the same sleeping arrangements as last time, so you and mom are in here. You hungry?

Paige: Nope.

Phoebe: Well then get changed and hop into bed, any time you want to wake up.

Paige: I'll take as long as i can get.

Phoebe: Jeez, when was the last time you slept?

Paige: Couple days.

Phoebe: Get in bed now, you won't get better unless you sleep.

Paige: I know. 'night.

Phoebe: Goodnight.

As soon as my head hits the pillow I immediately fall asleep and the nighmares begin again.


	20. Chapter 20

I bolt awake gasping for breath and covered in cold sweat. All of a sudden a pair of arms go around me and I jump up in surprise backing away from the unknown pair of arms. I back up until I hit the corner of the room and I slide down the wall covering my head with my hands awaiting the beating to come.

Pheobe: Paige? It's me, it's Pheobe.

I slowly look up from my position and see Pheobe looking rather scared at me. I take a deep breath taking in my surroundings realizing that I must have been dreaming again.

Pheobe: Paige, you awake now?

Paige: Yeah, what time is it?

I stand up and make my way towards the bathroom and away from Pheobe's stare.

Pheobe: Its only 1, you only slept for a few hours. What happened, bad dream.

Paige: Yeah. I'm going to take a shower and get ready for the day. I'll be out soon.

Pheobe: Fine but then you and I are going to relax on the couch.

I take a shower hoping to wash away the memories and calm myself down before having to be under the watchful eyes of my family. I walk out into the living room to see Pheobe sitting on the couch watching The Interpreter. She pauses the movie and looks at me intensly.

Pheobe: You look tired why don't you go back to bed.

Paige: Nope I'm good.

Pheobe: So you going to tell me what happened back there.

Paige: Just a bad dream, don't worry about it.

Pheobe: That was more than a bad dream. I was trying to wake you up for atleast a few minutes and then when you finally did you hid in the corner.

Paige: I didn't know that was you, it freaked me out and I backed away that is all.

Pheobe: What was the dream about?

Paige: It was memory, ok! And before you ask I don't want to talk about it.

Pheobe: Fine, but you are not going out. You are staying here and will relax since you won't sleep.

Paige: Fine.

I sit down on the couch and watch the movie with Pheobe trying desperately to stay awake. Piper and Prue come home at the same time as I am teaching Pheobe how to play poker. They both come over and give Pheobe and I hugs hello.

Prue: Mom should be here soon, her flight landed about thirty mintutes ago.

Piper: I'm just going to order a pizza for dinner.

Paige and Pheobe: Ok.

Piper and Prue both come back into the living room and watch Pheobe and I play.

Paige: Want me to deal you guys in.

Piper: No that's ok. How you feeling Paige, you look pale.

Paige: Good.

I deal Pheobe and I some cards and as I do so I can feel everyones eyes on me.

Pheobe: She had a nightmare earlier.

Paige: Pheobe.

Pheobe: What you did, not to mention you can't sleep.

Piper: You aren't sleeping.

Paige: Can we not talk about this right now.

Pheobe: She wouldn't tell me anything about it, and she was really freaked out when she woke up.

Paige: Pheebs shut up!

Prue: Paige, knock it off. Why don't you tell us what happened.

Paige: Like I told Pheobe earlier I'm fine, so lets just move on to something else.

Pheobe: No, I've kept quiet all afternoon and now I want to know.

I realize that they are not going to let this go for a while so I stand up and head into Piper's room to grab a sweatshirt and go for a walk.

Prue: Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you.

Paige: I'm not some little kid you get to boss around and I don't want to talk about this.

Prue: Well thats too bad because you are in my house and I do!

Piper: Prue knock it off.

After hearing what Prue has said I grab my things and throw them in my bag. I knew this would happen and they wonder why I don't want to live here. I zip my bag shut and Piper comes in the room and shuts the door.

Piper: Don't leave Paige, we want you to stay.

Paige: I can't.

Piper: Where are you going to go?

Paige: I'll figure something out, don't worry.

I grab my stuff and leave the room with Piper not far behind me. As I enter the living room I see my mom being greeted by Pheobe and Prue. Great now I'm going to have to deal with mom before I leave. Piper puts her hand on my back and guides me towards mom. With my bags still in hand my mom gives me a big hug.

Mom: How were your tests sweetie.

Paige: Good, all A's.

Mom: Going somewhere?

Paige: Yeah, I'll give you guys a call when I get settled.

Pheobe: Don't leave, we don't have to talk about the nightmare.

Mom: Whats going on here?

Piper: Something is wrong with Paige and she doesn't want to talk about it and Prue pulled the whole my house my rules thing.

Mom: Paige is it anything serious?

Paige: No.

Mom: Prue I appreciate you letting us stay here, but I'm her mother not you. Paige why don't you leave your stuff here and go up to roof if you want to get some air, but you are not to leave the building.

Knowing that I don't have anywhere else to go and that I do need to clear my head I drop my bags and head for the door. I walk up the 4 flights of stairs to the roof and walk to the corner and look at the skyline trying to catch my breath. I think about what I'm going to do until summer classes begin. I need to find a job so I can get a place of my own and not worry about other people's rules and the consequences of breaking them. As I'm thinking of jobs I could possibly get I hear someone else step on to the roof. I turn and see that it is Prue and she is holding my coat.

Prue: Thought you might be cold so I brought your coat.

I nod my head and whisper, thanks.

Prue takes a seat on one of the benches and stares off into the distance.

Prue: You and I are a lot a like you know.

Paige: How?

Prue: We each try to handle everything alone and never know when it is time to ask for help.

Paige: If I didn't handle things on my own I could have lost everything.

Prue: Thats not true anymore and you still won't except help.

Paige: Because you can't help with this.

Prue: Yes we can. Just open up about what is going on.

Paige: I don't want you guys to know the details of what happened. He was your dad.

Prue: You're our sister and whatever you say about Victor isn't going to ruin the image of him we already have. We could even find someone else for you to talk to.

Paige: I'm not crazy, I don't need a shrink.

Prue: I know but this is more than anyone could handle alone. Lets start out simple, how are you physically? And I swear to god if you answer fine I'll...

Paige: The cast is driving me crazy and doing everything left handed is getting pretty old. I just walked up four flights of stairs and I was out of breath, but it is getting better.

Prue: When does the cast come off?

Paige: First week of January.

Prue: So why do you look like the living dead?

Paige: I...I don't sleep much

Prue: You never have so what is different.

Paige: I go days without sleeping and when I finally do fall asleep it is only for a few hours.

Prue: Dreams?

I look away completely ashamed that something so childish is keeping me from sleeping. I'm not 5 anymore I should be able to deal with nightmares.

Prue: Paige?

Paige: Yeah.

Prue: It's ok if its because of dreams.

Paige: They won't go away. Everytime I close my eyes he's there.

Prue walks over towards me and I take a step back.

Prue: Squirt, I swear that telling us about the dreams will help, I mean it couldn't hurt.

Paige: I was fine before I told you guys about Victor and look what telling you did.

Prue: God dammit Paige this is killing you please talk to us.

I stare off at the skyline thinking, 'I don't care' and that scares me. I went from having goals and working to achieve them to being lost and not knowing what to do. I've never felt so lost or scared before. I look at Prue and decide that I can't do this alone and that I need help.

Paige: I don't know what to do anymore, everything is going wrong. I tell you guys about Victor which ends up getting me shot and him killed and now Westpoint is making me take a semester off so I can't go back there. I've spent the last eight years trying to get away from home and the moment I do you guys find out why and won't let me go. You're right this is killing me and the scary thing is I'm past caring.

Prue comes over and gives me a hug, she wispers in my ear, "don't worry squirt we'll help you." I nod my head and we make our way back into the condo.


	21. AN

Hey guys. Thanks for reading I really appreciate it. I kinda made Paige just hit rock bottom so the rest will be building her back up. Give me any thoughts or ideas you might have and I'll try to include them. This is a magic free story. Sorry it has taken me so long to update but I work for a company that does a lot of business in Louisiana and Mississippi (where the hurricanes hit) so work has been crazy. Things are starting to slow down so I'll be updating a little quicker. Thanks again!


	22. Chapter 21

The buzzing sound repeats rhythmically over and over again. I open my eyes and look around in the dark for the alarm clock. I finally find it and turn off the alarm and then stumble around in the dark of the foreign room to open up the shades. I push the shades open to let the light in and illuminate my new bedroom. The room is bare having only moved in yesterday and the furniture Phoebe and I shared is in her bedroom. I look around for my suitcase and grab clothes and head into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Afterwards I grab a bowl of cereal and sit in the living room with mom and Phoebe.

Mom: Sleep well sweetie?

Paige: Uh-huh.

Phoebe: Mom and I are going to look at a couple of schools today so you're on your own.

Paige: Looking for Grad schools already?

Phoebe: No I'm going to try and transfer to a school around here. All of this has made me want to be closer to home and NYU was too big for me anyway.

Paige: Ok, well Piper is coming over and we're going to Ikea to get me some furniture.

Mom: Here is my credit card don't go too crazy, but make sure you fill up your room.

Paige: Thanks.

Mom: You guys are taking my car since its bigger and remember you aren't allowed to lift heavy things.

Paige: I know, I know.

The buzzer for the door goes off and Phoebe runs over to the intercom to to buzz Piper up. I put my bowl in the dishwasher and then run to brush my teeth, by the time I get back into the living room mom is switching car keys with Piper.

Mom: Thanks for doing this Piper. I gave Paige my credit card so just use that for everything including lunch. Phoebe and I have to go so I'll see you this afternoon, have fun.

Piper: Ok, thanks.

Mom and Phoebe leave and Piper heads into my bedroom and I follow her in.

Piper: Did you measure your room?

Paige: Yeah Phoebe helped me.

I take out a piece of paper from my pocket, unfold it , and hand it to Piper.

Piper: Jeez anal much, you even have angles for the doorway.

Paige: You know I was majoring in engineering so yeah I guess I am anal.

Piper: Well it looks like you need everything besides a bed. Alright lets get out of here.

On the long ride out to Ikea I stare out the passenger window thinking about the last week and a half. After Prue and I left the roof we had a quiet dinner and later on that evening Mom told us about how she was going to sublet the place she was buying until the closing went through. That meant she could move in as soon as the end of the week. Apparently the new place was a three bedroom loft pretty close to Prue's and Piper's place and in a good neighborhood. Mom then told us about her getting a job at a close by hospital and that she would be alternating between days and nights for the next few months. Eventually the conversation turned back to me and I told the rest of the family about having to take a semester off from Westpoint, and they all seemed very happy. Mom immediately insisted that I move in with her and Pheebs. I fought the invitation but eventually gave in knowing I really had nowhere else to go at the moment. The rest of the week slowly went by with me trying to sleep in small spurts, my family trying to force me to sleep, and my sisters trying to get me to talk about the nightmares. I still refuse to talk about the abuse with any of my sisters but at night when my mom is laying in the bedroom with me I tell her about the previous nightmare. This does not sit well with any of my sisters and they each take their turns at trying to break through the wall I built up around myself.

Piper: So do you know kind of what you want?

Paige: Uh, the only thing I want to get is a desk so I can start studying.

Piper: Well it is a good thing one of us is going with you or you'd come back with nothing. You need a dresser and a nightstand.

Paige: I don't have a lot of clothes so the closet is big enough for all my stuff, so I don't need a dresser and I don't even get why I need a nightstand.

Piper: Fine this is how we'll do it, you will pick out a desk and then we'll get the matching dresser and nightstand. You may not have a lot of clothes now but Phoebe and mom are going to take care of that after looking at schools today.

Paige: What! Mom took Phoebe to pick out clothes for me, we are nothing a like and I don't need more clothes.

Piper: Mom knows that you are more conservative than Pheebs and Phoebe is good when she shops for other people. Besides we are all sick of seeing you in the same three outfits, what happened to your clothes.

Paige: At Westpoint uniforms are required and I suppose whatever I left in San Fransisco was thrown away by Victor.

Piper: We're here lets go.

After walking around the huge store Piper and I leave with bunch of flat boxes containing a desk, dresser, nightstand, and a chair. We head back into the city, lug the boxes up to the loft, and order a pizza.

Piper: Pizza will be here in 30 minutes. What are you doing?

Paige: I'm going to build the chair while we wait.

Piper: Stop it, for one thing you are right handed and guess what your right hand is in a cast so you won't be able to put it together. I can't believe I even let you help me carry this stuff up here, mom is going to kill me.

Paige: Hey, this stuff wasn't even very heavy and I've been getting pretty good at doing stuff with my left hand.

Piper: Fine lets build the chair but then we're taking a break for lunch.

By the time Phoebe, mom, and Prue arrive Piper and I have built the entire bedroom set and are watching tv on the couch.

Phoebe: You'll never guess what mom and I did today, Paige?

Paige: Hmm, you went clothes shopping for me.

Phoebe: Piper!

Piper: I had to tell her she was arguing that she didn't need a dresser.

Mom: You got her one right?

Piper: Yes and here is your credit card.

Prue: Well lets go down to the garage and get the boxes and start building.

Paige: It's done.

Mom: What? How did you two get it up here? You weren't suppose to lift anything heavy, Piper how could you let her do that?

Paige: It wasn't even heavy and we made more than one trip, don't yell at Piper I talked her into it.

Prue: You guys built it too?

Piper: Yeah once we got started it was easy and fast. You should see Paige, she is pretty coordinated with her left hand now.

Mom: Well girls I'm going to take a nap and then head off to work.

All P's: 'Night!

Phoebe: Well lets start putting your clothes away and maybe you can try some on for us.

We head into my room and Phoebe and Prue dump the bags of clothes on my bed.

Paige: Go overboard much.

Phoebe: You needed practically a whole new wardrobe, so nope.

Everyone starts digging into the bags and put the items where they belong. Every now and then Phoebe will find an outfit and make me try it on. After everything was in its place Phoebe nonchalantly slaps my back while saying, "see that wasn't too much stuff." My body immediately stiffens and tears start to well in my eyes as the pain of Phoebe hitting me just in the right spot reverberates through my body.

Paige: God..uhh...that hurt. Sh!

Piper: Oh no whats wrong.

Prue: I'll get mom.

Phoebe: Paige I'm so sorry I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry.

Paige: 's-ok.

I take a deep breath, bend over and put my hands on my thighs trying to ignore the pain and the warm feeling of blood on my back.

Piper: Paige we're going to help you over to the bed ok? Just lay down on your stomach.

Mom: What happened?

Phoebe: I didn't mean to, I slapped Paige on the back.

Paige: Its ok Pheebs, I'm fine. You just hit the wrong spot of my back don't worry.

Mom: Well lets take a look. I'm going to pull your shirt up so I can see if any damage was done.

I nod my head already knowing she is going to find some since I can feel the blood rolling down my back. As she moves my shirt up I hear Phoebe start to cry and say how sorry she is again.

Paige: Pheebs don't worry about it doesn't even hurt anymore.

Mom: Well I'm going to need to clean it up and re bandage it. Prue?

Prue: Yeah?

Mom: In the bathroom there is alcohol and some bandages. Piper can you grab a wash cloth a damp it with warm water. Phoebe, sweetie, come over here and sit with Paige. Don't worry it just needs to be cleaned up and redressed, we were going to have to do it tomorrow anyway.

Everyone does as mom tells them and comes back into the room. The room is completely quiet as mom is wiping the blood off my back. I try to crack a joke to loosen the room from the insurmountable tension.

Paige: Guys don't worry so much, if it were Halloween I'd have a great costume.

Piper: Not funny.

Mom: This is going to sting a little.

I grasp the bedspread in my left hand and squeeze as my mom cleans out the wound and redresses it. Trying to make as little noise as possible so I don't make Phoebe feel even worse.

Mom: I'm going to clean up the other one as well since we've got everything out.

I nod my head not trusting my voice at the moment.

Prue: What other one, she was only shot once.

Mom: The wound from the chest tube.

She takes the bandage off my side and looks at the wound.

Mom: Looks good, I think the stitches will come out later this week.

The wound is cleaned and quickly re bandaged and my shirt is slid back down.

Mom: All set. I'm going back to bed. Paige take one of the pain killers, Prue make sure she does, Piper help change her shirt, and Phoebe put this stuff away.

After Prue and Phoebe leave the room to grab my medicine and put stuff away Piper helps me sit up on the bed. I quickly wipe my eyes of any tears that might fallen as she grabs me a new shirt and she catches me doing so when she comes back.

Piper: Hurt, huh?

Paige: That stings way more than a little.

Piper: I bet. Here lets switch shirts. Arms up.

Paige: No way that kills, let me switch the shirt myself.

She gives me a stern look that says, "you'll do as I say."

Paige: Are we going anywhere tonight?

Piper: No, why?

Paige: Then hand me my pj's, no sense in changing again.

I squirm out of my shirt trying not to extend my arms too far for fear of stretching out the wounds. Piper helps me get into my pajama top and then i switch pants as well. By the time Phoebe and Prue come back in I'm fully changed.

Prue: You going to bed?

Paige: No, just didn't want to keep changing clothes if were not going anywhere.

Prue: Here take these and don't hassle me about the pills.

I take the pills and water from Prue's hand and take them without question mostly because my back still hurts a lot. Prue quirks her eyebrow at how willingly I took them and I just give her a look and turn to Phoebe as she leaves the room.

Paige: Where you going?

Phoebe: Pajama party in your room. I'm getting changed and grabbing extra pj's for Piper and Prue.

After everyone is changed and back in my room we realize there isn't much to do.

Paige: Well you guys need to have a few drinks so I'm not the only one not sober.

Phoebe: You're so right and I have an idea of a game we could play. I'll be right back with everything.

Minutes later Phoebe walks in with a six-pack beer, a bottle of water, and a huge bag of M&M's.

Piper: Gross I'm not eating M&M's and drinking beer.

Phoebe: The M&M's are for the game.

Prue: What game?

Phoebe: A version of 'I never...' Everyone take a turn of saying, 'I never...' and if anyone has done that they put an M&M in their pile.

Paige: Thats not how its played.

Phoebe: I know but that is how were going to play, we'll learn stuff about each other. Here is your water Paige and the rest of us will be drinking beer trying to catch up with your drugged up self.

Piper: I'll go first. I never ditched school.

We all put a piece of candy in our pile.

Prue: I never cheated on a test

Only Phoebe and Prue add to their pile

Phoebe: I never snuck out of the house at night to go to a party.

Only Phoebe and I added to the pile. Everyone looks at me shocked and I just smile in return

Paige: I never drank illegally.

We all add to the piles and again they look at me surprised.

Piper: I never had a pregnancy scare.

Everyone but Phoebe adds to the pile. I can feel their eyes on me.

Paige: Stop looking at me like that or I'll stop playing.

Prue: Sorry, I never had a one nightstand.

Everyone but Piper adds to the pile.

Phoebe: I never skipped all my classes for a week.

Phoebe and I add to the pile.

Piper: Hold it I thought you weren't allowed to skip classes at Westpoint.

Paige: What can I say high school got boring. I never went skinny dipping.

Everyone but Phoebe adds to the pile. My sisters share a look while they think I'm not looking and Piper starts her turn.

Piper: I never contemplated suicide.

Piper adds to the pile and I look up shocked that the game is turning so serious. Then I add to the pile.

Prue: I never attempted suicide.

Piper and I add to the pile as Prue and Phoebe gasp in shock.

Phoebe: When?

I look at Piper and she starts her story.

Piper: Well as you know high school wasn't very fun for me, I was a complete geek. I didn't have any friends I hated the way I looked, I was getting picked on all the time, and I would think about doing it a lot and one day I decided it was a good idea. I couldn't think of another way out and I didn't want to face another day so when I got home from school I went in the bathroom and took a razor and tried to slit my wrists. Luckily I can't stand the sight of blood and scared myself pretty good and I stopped after my first wrist. I barely cut the skin before I stopped too, but it was enough to make me understand that I needed help. I talked to mom and she took me to see a shrink and after several months and some medication I began to see outside the darkness of what I thought my life was. I'm fine now and really happy I couldn't go through with it, how about you Paige.

We all sat there completely shocked and after a few minutes I responded.

Paige: Story for a different time.

Prue: Come on Paige, Piper shared so why can't you.

I take a sip of my water and look down at my hands as I think of a way to tell my story.

Paige: Uh, mine is a bit different. I, uh, tried more than once and no one but one of my friends ever found out. Lets see I tried two times and I guess I wasn't very good at it either because here I am. The first time I was 15 and the second I was 17. The first time I took a bunch of pills and it wasn't enough and I woke up the next day with a bad headache. The second time I was really drunk with a friend of mine and we were on the roof of some building and I started walking on the ledge. Then I started wondering about how fast it could just be over with if i moved an inch forward and just as I was taking a step forward my friend tackled me and stopped me. Thats it your turn Pheebs.

Prue: Did you ever tell anyone?

Paige: I just told you, but prior to this no.

Phoebe: Why?

Paige: It was a way out when I couldn't think of another.

Piper: And now, do you still think about it.

Paige: Do you?

Piper: No.

Paige: I haven't thought about it in a while either.

Phoebe: What was it a way out from?

Paige: Listen I really don't want to get into this. I answered the question and then gave an explanation which is more than is required for this game.

Prue: It's not a game right now. Tell us what made you the first time.

Piper scoots closer tome and puts her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into a sideways hug, trying to reassure me.

Piper: You can tell us Paige you need to tell someone.

Paige: Fine. It was because of a lot of things. I had no friends in school, I was a target for people at school to pick on and push around, I'd go home from school and get the crap kicked out of me there, at home I was told how worthless I was and how I was a reminder of mom's pain everyday, got picked on or ignored by everyone else at home, and the final straw was Victor raping me. That pretty much sums up the reason for the second attempt as well.

I take a deep, shaky breath while keeping my eyes on my hands. Piper hugs me tighter and kisses my head while Prue grabs one of my hands and tilts my head up with her other so she can look me in the eye.

Prue: Promise me you will talk to one of us or someone who can help if you ever start thinking about it again.

The hot tears start welling in my eyes again because deep down I know I have started thinking about it lately. She must know what I'm thinking because she switches her position and gives me a big hug while I try and hold back my tears.

Prue: Squirt we're here for you please don't try ever again we couldn't handle losing you.

Phoebe: Piper when was the last time you thought about it?

Piper: About a month after I tried but the therapy helped me a lot and I haven't thought about is since.

Phoebe: Well you ever think about it again you tell us. Paige when was the last time you thought about it?

I stiffen in Piper and Prue's arms and wonder if I should tell the truth or lie. If I tell the truth the won't leave me alone and will hound me to see a shrink. If I lie they won't pester me and things will remain the same.

Piper: Look at me Paige, you are taking way too long thinking about this, I want to see your eyes when you answer.

I shake my head and I feel Prue back away.

Prue: Paige you bet...

Phoebe: Stop Prue let Piper handle this.

Piper: Paige look at me.

I take a deep breath knowing that she is forcing me to tell the truth because she is the only one that can spot my lies. I lift my head and look at her forehead trying to avoid her gaze.

Piper: Good, now when was the last time you thought about suicide.

I looked over at Phoebe and Prue sitting next to each other until Piper grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her and I whispered my answer.

Paige: Couple of weeks ago.

There is a sharp intake of breath from over in Prue and Phoebe's direction but I can't tell whose it is because Piper is still holding my chin.

Piper: When exactly?

Paige: The hospital. You guys were in San Fransisco.

Piper: Do you know why?

I nod my head not really wanting to talk about it.

Piper: Missy I know it is hard talking about it but you really need to. We want you to talk to us about it, but if you can't we need to find someone you can talk to.

Phoebe: Paige even if you only want to talk to one of us its ok. We won't be upset if you don't choose one of us to talk to. You have been thinking about suicide or attempting it for the past two and a half years and something has to change. Maybe talking will make the thoughts go away and if it doesn't we'll find something that will help.

Prue: I agree with them, please let us try and help.

Paige: You won't be mad if I only want to talk to one of you?

Prue: Absolutely not, you just say who and the other two will leave the room.

Paige: Are you going to tell mom?

Phoebe: Why don't we see how talking to one of us goes and then we decide. We do promise not to tell her without telling you we are going to do so first.

I nod my head knowing that is as good of a deal I'm going to get at the moment.

Paige: Ca-can I just tell Piper and she can tell you guys later.

I look at the faces of each sister trying to gauge their reaction, to see if they really are mad that I chose one over the other. To my surprise Phoebe and Prue both smile, nod their heads, stand up and give me a hug before leaving the room.

Piper: Why don't we sit on the bed its more comfortable than the floor.

I stand up and clumsily make my way to the bed now really feeling the effects of the pain killers.

Piper: Whoa Missy you better sit down before you fall down.

Paige: It's the medicine, it always makes me a little loopy and dizzy.

Piper: How come I never noticed before.

Paige: I try not to take the pain meds unless I really need them. So this is only the third time I've taken them.

Piper: So that slap of Phoebe's really hurt.

Paige: Oh yeah, but it was mostly mom cleaning out the wound. It hasn't opened up like that before.

Piper: So you ready to talk.

Paige: How did it work in your therapy sessions.

Piper: I didn't really want to talk but she just kept asking questions and eventually I opened up.

Paige: Did you guys have this planned. I mean the whole game and taking it to serious topics.

Piper: Yeah, Phoebe's idea, one of her better ones.

Paige: Were you lying when you talked about suicide?

Piper: No. So why don't you tell me about the last time you thought about suicide.

I lowered myself on the bed so I had my head rested on Piper's shoulder and I closed my eyes. As if not seeing Piper would make this easier.

Paige: I was alone at the hospital, I just basically killed your dad, I went from running over 5 miles a day without breaking a sweat to barely walking down a hallway, Westpoint told me I was not going to be able to attend next semester, I couldn't sleep because every time I close my eyes he is there. Victor was gone for good but he could still torture me and I couldn't think of any other way to make it better.

Piper: How about now?

Paige: I still killed your dad, I'm not physically back where I want to be, I can't get on with my plans with Westpoint until the summer, and I still can't sleep because he is always there ready to haunt me. I think about it but not seriously, do you know what I mean.

Piper: Yeah I do. I used to not seriously think about it, but the problem with that is it slowly built until I did. You didn't fire the gun that killed Victor so why do you keep saying you killed him.

Paige: I told you guys and everything after that was the side effects. I may not have pulled the trigger but we never would have been in that position if it wasn't for me.

Piper: You ever think it was his fault, if he never had abused you would he have been shot in the street that day.

Paige: He warned me not to tell over and over again, I should have listened, I should have listened.

Piper: Sweetie, shh. You're going to the doctor in two days, what is he going to do.

Paige: Listen to my lung, see if the stitches from the chest tube can come out yet, and look at my back.

Piper: Who was the friend that stopped you from jumping off the roof.

Paige: Glen, why?

Piper: Just curious as to who I should be thanking. What made you attempt those two times. I mean I know all the reasons leading up to it, but what actually triggered it.

I held me breath thinking how much I should tell Piper. How much she could handle hearing and how much I could handle telling.

Paige: He, Victor, raped me earlier in the day. So I guess we don't have to worry now since that won't be happening again.

Piper: Stop trying to make light of the situation. How many times did he rape you?

Paige: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Piper: Just a few more minutes and we'll stop. Can you please tell me how many times.

Paige: Six.

Piper: How...what made these two times different.

Paige: One was the first time and the other he ju-just pushed the right buttons.

Piper: You want to tell me anything else right now.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and shake my head, no.


	23. Chapter 22

I'm completely stiff from the postion I have been laying in and I squirm around to get more comfortable and continue sleeping. As I slowly regain my senses I realize I have my head on someones chest and that someone is running their hand through my hair. I keep my eyes closed and concentrate on the sounds of the room trying to figure out who is in my room. Too tired to keep my senses on full alert I relax and try to fall back asleep but just before I do I hear hushed voices start a conversation.

Prue: She still asleep?

Piper: I think so, it felt like she woke up but I think she fell back asleep.

Prue: Good she needs it.

Piper: Where is Pheebs?

Prue: Passed out on the couch.

Piper: If you get her I'll tell you what Paige and I talked about, I only want to go through it once.

Prue: Let me see if I can wake her up.

The hand running through my hair stops and Prue leaves the room to try and wake Pheobe up. Moments later I feel weight shift on the bed as someone sits by my feet. With my head on Piper's chest I can hear her heart beat speed up and I can feel her chest rise and fall dramatically as she takes a deep breath.

Piper: Well she talked to me for a little bit and then I think between the drugs and her lack of sleep she fell asleep.

Pheobe: What did she say?

Piper: She didn't want to talk about it so I just would randomly ask questions. We mostly stuck to why she recently thought about suicide.

Prue: And?

Piper: She thinks she killed Victor and then her whole life has been turned upside down from the shooting, and these nightmares aren't helping at all. It seems everytime she sleeps she has them.

Pheobe: She have any tonight?

Piper: No, but she has only been asleep for a couple hours.

Dang only a couple of hours it felt a lot longer than that.

Prue: Wait why does she think she killed Victor. I mean you told her she didn't, right?

Piper: Of course I told her it wasn't her fault. She is adament that her telling us about the abuse triggered the shooting, therefore making it her fault.

Pheobe: Well that is just stupid. Her telling us was the best thing that she has done, I wish she would open up more.

Prue: I agree I mean if she would have told us about the abuse sooner maybe we could have helped.

Piper: You guys it wasn't that simple. It started when she was ten and we were pretty much very involved in our own lives. I mean Prue you were a Senior in highschool and I was a Junior, we were both thinking about college, moving out, parties, and our own issues. Pheobe was 12 and was into junior high stuff and boys. None of us hung out with Paige, hell none of us talked to her except in passing, we were just in very different stages of our lives. No wonder she felt that we wouldn't believe her if she told us. It is our fault for not noticing the changes in her behavior when she was younger and then never picking up on the fact that we had a severly depressed sister as she got older.

Prue: Did she show any warning signs?

Piper: Does it matter we would have missed them if she did.

Pheobe: Oh god, you know when she was talking about why she attemped suicide and said how she was hated at school and then came home to the same thing, that-that was my fault.

Prue: How could that be your fault?

Pheobe: I told all the kids at school that she was a freak and would start rumors about her. I hated the fact that she skipped a grade and now tagged along with me to some of my classes and she was doing better than me. And when we would come home I wouldn't let up on her and would kick her out of the room so I could have my friends over and we wouldn't have her hanging around. Oh god I made her life so hard that she attempted suicide.

I hear Pheobe start crying and the weight again shifts on the bed as Prue must of gone over to comfort her. I think about telling her it wasn't her fault but decide that its true, Pheobe did make my life difficult and it is about time she realize that. I again shift my position trying to get comfortable and I eventually end up laying on my stomach with my head pretty much burried beween a pillow and Piper's side.

Prue: Pheebs calm down sweetie your going to wake Paige and besides you are not the main cause of Paige's problems. You had no idea that she was having other problems and you were just acting like a typical jealous, older sister.

Pheobe: I should have known, we're close in age and we shared a room our whole lives. How could I have not seen the scars and bruises.

Piper: Pheebs she just got really good at hiding things. Prue never knew about my problems until well after I sought help and we were much closer than you and Paige. It wasn't because Prue wasn't paying enough attention to me it was because I made an effort to hide it from her, from everyone.

Pheobe: Well from now on things are going to be different between me and Paige. I'm going to be nicer and really make an effort to help her.

Prue: Just make sure you don't over do it, we don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

Pheobe: I'm glad she can't go back to Westpoint next semester that gives us more time to spend with her.

Piper: Me too, but I'm concerned about that as well. She focused on Westpoint to take her mind off of everything else so what is she going to do now to replace that focal point.

Prue: Don't worry we'll help her and keep an eye on her. We just need to keep her talking to atleast one of us so we can help.

Piper: You guys aren't mad she chose me are you?

Pheobe: No and it makes the most sense that she picked you. You know what she is going through with the suicide thing and besides you two always got along the best when we were younger.

Prue: I agree but you make sure you come to us if it becomes too much. She said you could tell us things and we don't want you to take this all on yourself.

Piper: I'm sure I'll take you up on the offer if I ever get her to talk about the rapes.

I again feel a hand running through my hair and then someone's hand run down my back and pause over the gunshot wound. I then feel my shirt being pulled up so whoever can see the bandage. I then start to squirm wondering what is going on.

Paige: What?

Prue: Its ok squirt you just bled through the bandage, I'm just looking.

Paige: Mmm, I probably just stretched out or something and opened it up. Just leave it, it'll be fine.

Pheobe: No we should call mom.

Paige: No we shouldn't this happened in the hospital a few times, I know what to do. I just need to put a fresh bandage over it.

Piper: Fine. Stay put Paige, Pheobe grab the stuff and we'll rebandage it.

Paige: I can do it myself.

Prue: Don't you move we'll get it. Mom left some instructions on the fridge I'll grab those.

Everyone goes off to get everything leaving Piper and me alone. I turn my head towards her and she brushes my hair from my face. I shift my right arm from under my body to draping it over Piper's body.

Prue: Well mom's note says we have to clean it as well not just bandage it.

Paige: Damn.

Pheobe: Here is the stuff.

Prue: Ok I'll do it Paige but you need to tell me what to do.

Paige: Just take the banadage off, wipe the wound with the alcohol, then just re bandage it.

Piper: Pheebs why don't you watch in case you have to do this when we aren't here.

Prue: Alright this is going to...

Paige: Sting, yeah I got that, lets just get this over with.

She wipes the wound with the alcohol and I grit my teeth trying to ignore the pain. Pheobe grabs my left hand and I squeeze hers in return. Prue quickly puts a bandage over it and then puts everything away. I take a few deep breaths in an effort to relax myself.

Pheobe: You ok?

Paige: Yeah, that just hurts a lot.

Piper: Think you can fall back asleep?

Paige: What time is it?

Pheobe: 3 am you want your pain meds.

Paige: No I hate taking those and its too soon anyway.

Prue comes back in the room holding a glass of water and two pills.

Prue: Here take these.

Paige: What are they, its too soon to take more of the pain meds.

Prue: Don't worry it is just tylenol PM. It should reduce some of the pain and hopefully help you get some more sleep.

Paige: Thats ok I'll be fine and I'm not too tired anyway.

Piper: Paige please just take them you know you need help to sleep and this will help.

I sit up and look at Prue's out stretched hand and then back down at my own hands.

Paige: Maybe I don't want to sleep and not be able to wake up because of the drugs.

Pheobe: One of us could stay in here with you.

Paige: I'm not a baby I can sleep by myself I'm just not tired.

Prue: Come on tomorrow is Sunday and we all have to wake up early to take mom out to breakfast.

Paige: Fine you guys go to bed, I'll go to bed when I'm tired.

Prue: God you're frustrating you never went to bed as a kid either. I'm going to bunk with Pheebs and Piper will stay in here. I'll put the pills on the nightstand take them if you want. Come on Pheebs lets get some sleep.

Paige: Wow not too hard to piss off Prue is it.

Piper: She is just concerned and doesn't know how to show it very well, much like someone else I know.

Paige: haha

Piper: Alright since you aren't going to sleep lets talk some more.

Paige: How about you sleep here and I'll go read or something in the living room.

Piper: Nope it is late and you need to sleep so it is take the pills and sleep or start talking.

Paige: Fine I'll sleep with out the pills.

Piper: You and I both know you won't so here take them.

She hands me the pills and I stare at them like there poison. After a few seconds of hesitation I take the pills and pray for a night without dreams.

Piper: Good now lets lay back down and we'll both get some much needed sleep.

I scoot over to the other side of the bed, away from Piper, and lay on my stomach and stare at the wall waiting for the drugs to kick in. Piper knowing I need a little space just rolls over and drifts off to sleep. I slowly start to have trouble keeping my eyes open and my mind starts to wander off and before I know it someone is shaking me.

Piper: Paige it is time to get up. Missy we have to get ready for breakfast with mom.

With much effort I slowly open my eyes and then close them. My head is pounding from the amount of drugs probably coursing through my body. I keep my eyes close and decide that getting up is not an option and start to drift back to sleep.

Piper: Paige come on we both have to get ready, Pheebs and Prue are waiting on us.

Paige: Go 'way.

Prue: Piper just go and get ready and I'll wake her up.

Piper: Thanks.

I hear Piper leave the room and a few seconds later the weight on the bed shifts as if someone is sitting right in front of me. I roll away from the person hoping to continue my sleep.

Prue: Squirt we're taking mom out to breakfast now get up.

Paige: Tired.

Prue: Paige, now!

My body tenses up when she starts shaking me awake in combination with her stern voice. I jump out of bed quickly and stay out of Prue's reach as I groggily look around the room for an escape. Prue walks over to my dresser and takes out some clothes and hands them to me

Prue: Good now get ready we're leaving in 30 minutes

I take the clothes and head into the master bath and get ready for the day. I look at myself in the mirror and my eyes are all glassy and bloodshot. I feel a little light headed but I push that feeling to the side and go into the living room where my sisters are impatiently waiting.

Pheobe: Finally.

Prue: Alright lets go.

Making sure to stay away from Prue I follow them down to the car and hop in the backseat. All the way to the restraunt I struggle to stay awake and a couple of times feel my head bob as if I was just falling asleep. When we pull up to the hospital Piper moves to the backseat forcing me to sit in the middle as mom climbs into the front seat.

Mom: Morning girls

Piper, Pheobe, Prue: Morning.

Not really up for talking I kind of just nod my head and again try to keep my eyes open by looking around at everything. We get to the restraunt and I quietly sit in the booth between Piper and my mom. I look at the menu and can't even concentrate enough to read through it and figure out what I want so I just order the same thing Piper does. Luckily we don't have to wait long for the food to come and I pick at my breakfast feeling too tired to even eat. After a few minutes I stare at something on the table a fall asleep.

Mom: Paige whats wrong? ... Paige?

Paige: Huh?

Mom: Whats wrong?

Paige: Noth-nothing.

Prue: She is just angry that we made her get up and come to breakfast. She was even harder to wake up than Pheobe.

Pheobe: Yeah really I at least woke up on the 5th try.

Paige: Leave me alone you made me take those tylenol PM.

Prue: You took those? Piper?

Piper: Yeah I got her to take them.

Mom: What time did you take them?

I shrug my shoulders having no clue as to when I was finally convinced to take them.

Mom: When!

I jump a bit startled at the anger in my mom's voice and start getting a little worried because I have no idea what the answer to her question is. Luckily Piper answers for me.

Piper: Like 3:30 or 4am.

Mom: And you guys woke her up 4 hours later.

Pheobe: Oops.

Mom: Why would you even wake her up if she wanted to sleep anyways. We have been trying to get her to sleep for weeks. Prue give me the keys to the car, I'm going to take Paige home you guys catch a cab.

I look over at my mom a little concerned because I haven't seen her this angry in a long time. My sisters don't say a word and Prue hands over the car keys.

Mom: Come on sweetie lets get you home so you can sleep.

We walk out of the restraunt and as soon as I'm in the car I lean my head against the window and close my eyes. After what feels like hours later my mom shakes me awake and we head upstairs to our new home. Once there I crawl into bed and fall asleep without even taking off my coat.

A/N: I had to add the sleeping pills thing because my mom did that to me once. She gave me tylenol pm instead of regular tylenol and then we went to church. After struggling for a while I fell asleep and during the priests sermon he walked by me and touched me on the shoulder to wake up. My mom was so mad at me and I was completely embarrased. When we got home she looked at what she gave me and immediately understood the problem. Its years later now and its a pretty funny story, I think anyway.


	24. Chapter 23

I bolt awake and look around the room, it is completely dark and I shiver once I notice I'm covered in sweat. I sit up and take a few deep breaths and then exit the room and notice it is pretty dark throughout the condo, the only light is coming from the living room. Having no clue what time it is, or what day, I make my way to the lit room and see Prue watching a movie on the couch. Apparenlty I startled her as she jumps once she notices my presence.

Prue: Jeez, stealthy aren't you.

Paige: What time is it?

Prue: Five

Paige: AM or PM

Prue: Dang you were out. PM and its still Sunday before you ask. Sit down and finish the movie with me it'll be over in a few minutes.

I sit on the opposite end of the couch not really wanting to be near anyone at the moment. But Prue not really getting it scoots closer to me and wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to her. As she does this my body tenses up from the after effects of the nightmare. Prue seems to have noticed because she turns off the tv and we sit in silence for a few minutes.

Prue: Sorry about waking you up earlier I didn't know you actually took the pills.

Paige: Thats alright I must of looked pretty funny at the restraunt when I fell asleep.

Prue: It was you almost planted your face in your pancakes and would have if mom hadn't woke you up. Pheobe couldn't stop laughing once you and mom left, mom was real mad at us.

Paige: Well that would have been messy and really embarrassing.

Prue: Yeah I remember last time you did that.

Paige: What? When?

Prue: You were like three and we were at Aunt Mary's wedding. You were completely exhausted and dinner was served kinda late at the reception, and we looked over at you and you had done a complete face plant right in your mash potatos. We even have photos, I'll have to dig those out.

Paige: No those can stay hidden in boxes.

Prue: Well why don't you take a shower because you're all sweaty and I'll take you out for dinner.

Paige: Where is everyone?

Prue: Piper is at work, Pheobe is out Christmas shopping, and mom is asleep. Its just you and me so think about where you want to eat.

I get ready and we go to Piper's restraunt so I can actually really eat something at her restraunt. Everyone there seems to know Prue and we are immediately seated in the back of the crowded restraunt.

Prue: Perk of knowing the chef is not having to wait for a table. It's not a great table but we didn't have to wait for it.

Paige: Good to know.

We spend a few minutes looking over the menus before the waitress comes over to take our order.

Waitress: Hey Prue, how are you?

Prue: Hi Tara, I'm good how have you been.

Tara: Good. We're pretty busy tonight, but that just means more tips. Who's your friend?

Prue: This is my sister Paige, Paige this is Tara she is a good friend of mine and Piper's.

Tara: Nice to meet you Paige in town for the holidays?

Paige: Uh...

Prue: Nope my mom and sisters just moved here. They live a few blocks from us now.

Tara: Wow how exciting, what grade are you in Paige:

Paige: I'm a freshman in...

Tara: What highschool my sister is also a freshman.

Paige: I'm in college.

Tara: Sorry about that you just look young for your age.

Paige: No problem.

Tara: So what can I get you guys?

Prue: I'll have a vodka-tonic and the salmon

Paige: Water and the blackened grouper.

Tara: Alright I'll be right back.

We sit in silence for awhile and I look around the restarunt and see that it is pretty packed.

Prue: Crowded, huh?

Paige: Yep. Hey how old do I look to you?

Prue: Right now you look I don't know, 14.

Paige: What! What do you mean, "right now"?

Prue: Don't worry about it you always looked younger than you are. You looked older before Thanksgiving, like 16 or so.

Paige: I can't believe this I'm 18 and I look 14 to 16 years old.

Prue: One day you are going to wish you looked younger than you are.

Piper: Hey guys this is a surprise. Here are your drinks.

Paige: Piper, how old do I look?

Piper: uh, 15?

Paige: arrg.

Piper: Whats this all about?

Prue: Tara just asked what highschool she went to and Paige is freaking out about how old she looks.

Paige: I'm not freaking out I'd just like to look a little bit around my age.

Prue: Well squirt eat up then because once you gain weight back from before the shooting you'll look atleast 16.

I look at both Piper and Prue trying to contain their laughter.

Paige: This isn't funny, I look like I'm 14.

Piper: Big deal. Hey sorry for this morning and if it helps any when you fell asleep at the restraunt you looked like you were 12. So in a matter of hours you just aged at least two years.

At this both Piper and Prue burst out laughing and eventually their laughter was contagious and I too was laughing.

Piper: Well guys break is over, enjoy dinner and have fun tonight.

Paige and Prue: see ya.

Prue: Good to see you laughing, squirt.

I nod my head not sure how I should respond. We both eat our delicous dinner and then Prue takes me to the Cheesecake Factory, supposedly this is the plan for me to gain weight. After we are completely stuffed we stop at a book store and look around and eventually come out with a few books. Prue's books are all about murder and mystery where as mine are all about aviation and computers.

Prue: You are such a nerd, get some fun books.

Paige: This is fun for me besides you are the psychopath reading all about murders.

Prue: Well come on then you big geek lets get home, it is way past some 12 year olds bedtime.

At this Prue takes off running down the street with me not too far behind in pursuit. After a couple of blocks I slow down to a walk having completely winded myself, I guess it will be a slow road to full recovery. I look ahead and Prue has stopped running and is looking back at me with concern on her face. A smile creeps over my face as a perfect plan of retaliation comes to the surface. I slow my walk down and stop next a building then grab my side and bend over at the waist. I hear Prue yell my name and I look up and see that she is running back to me, once she is close enough I stand up straight and busrt out laughing at the expression on her face.

Prue: You're kidding...oh man...don't do that...I can't believe you did that... you are so dead.

Paige: You should have seen your face, it was priceless.

I start walking down the street and Prue hurries to catch up and quickly puts me in a head lock and gives me a noogie.

Paige: Oh if we're playing that way.

I quickly pull a manuever I learned over the summer and then end up walking down the street with her in a head lock.

Prue: Hey I'm older than you let me go.

Paige: Make me.

Prue: I would but it would look like I was beating up a 12 year old on the street.

Paige: Just for that...

I tighten my grip and with my other hand start messing up her perfect hair. I quickly let go and make sure I'm out of Prue's reach.

Prue: Ok truce! Lets get home so you can read your boring books.

Paige: Fine truce.


End file.
